How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

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why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

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A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

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What did the black man say while getting mauled by a jungle cat? "Help im dying", as the animal riped him peice by peice with fear in his eyes he died slowly as the jungle cat draged him back to its den helplessly he fades away and the animal eats him.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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i yoused to cry a little when i laughed . then i got raped by a clown.

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How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

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A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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