- Anti Joke

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

Are you a homophobe? No, I'm cake. ,.

What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

Whats white and all over my room? paint

Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

You hear a big Boom, and run in, and see a shattered toilet, and a very BIG dying woman, on the floor next to it.

Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

Mmmm, donuts

Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops