What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

Yo momma so stupid, she's stupider than this joke.

knock knock who's there Alec Baldwin I just raped your children ..........

Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

What kind of pizza did the world trade center order? Two cheese pizzas.

What do you call a dancing panda bear? I'm not sure, but panda bears are pretty big, so the possibility of them dancing is highly unlikely.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

what happened to the kid who didn't get what he wanted for his birthday? He committed suicide

Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

What do u call a black pope? A poooooopppp!

what do you call a guy that has a mouth, but cannot speak? a poor freshman who has been commanded by a Senior not to speak.

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

What do you call a white man in the middle of Mexico City? Dave.

What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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