A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

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Yo momma is so fat, that when I went over to your house and accidentally stepped on a skateboard, yo momma came out and said "get the %$^# off the skateboard!"

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

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You know whats funny Aids

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

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Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

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Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

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Have you ever seen that gay clown in asda.

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Why was the little Latino boy sad? Because his father sexually molested him earlier in the evening.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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