Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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penis in the camel

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: I'm a horse. We have long faces.

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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Womens rights

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

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What did the mentaly handycap kid get for christmas. A Bop-It

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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