Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

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I did not thumb this up myself!... *click* Whoops! At least I am not that douche Moral Man eh? Moral: Whoops! Now if I just don't accidentally type in the answer and...

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

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Why did the toast land butter side down. The devil visited earth that day and therefore everything that could go wrong did.

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Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

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How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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