A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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William Wright. 8 perry street Answer-Gay

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daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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Q: What did the man say when he tried to commit suicide by jumping off a 20 storie building? A: Ow!

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I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

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what do you say to a black guy on steroids? B!tch please

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, although depending on how high the light in question is and where it's located she may need someone to help hold a ladder for her, if it's particularly unsteady.

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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Women's sports.

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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whatdumb and gay stewart price

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Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come out with your hands up.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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