how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

What's the cure to Ebola? Suicide

What's the difference between a baseball player on the Yankees, and one on the Red Sox? One was named Jeff, the other wasn't.

what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

If you and Chuck Norris have five dollars you both have the same amount of money.

Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

Hey guess what? Nevermind.

I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -a black man that left his family

Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

I would rape her

Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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