I just painted my nails. I have braces.

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Penis.

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Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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You smell like shit

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:/ Meh, I am just a side character anyways... Dont really care...

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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Whats worse than black people : a grimy old woman lickin your toes

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating it's way out.

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What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, I am color blind.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Jared Gough is a slut

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What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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What did the dying boy get for Christmas? Presents

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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