what did the homeless person get for Cristmas? nothing.

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

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Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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