telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many lesbians dose it take to finish a pizza? One or unless she invites some freinds over.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

want to hear a funny joke? what a coincidence so do I!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot.... ya' damn racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

yo mama is so fat that wii fit puts her in the overweight category

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what has two feet and is black all over? your mom after she died in a horrific house fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's black and white and red all over? A bloody fight between a black and a white man.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops