A British man walks into a dentist's office.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Leaves are green, You should know all this by now...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down +191

why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

A. Your mamma is so stuiped she starved to death in a grocary store.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the black guy hanging from the tree? Because he committed suicide because his wife of 20 years left him, is only child hates him and due to the bad economy is job at wall street was terminated.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. What does a blonde and beer bottles have in common? A. Nothing. Blonde is a hair color and beer bottles are inanimate objects used to contain various brands of beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops