how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats white and lives in a tree a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are Gray. Violets are Gray. I am a Dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

thumb_up thumb_down -20

knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down

A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow" you don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the black man say to the white man? "I like your shirt" The black man walked off and lived out the rest of his days in peace.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops