What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

8

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When I see Debra walking her dog in the morning I often ask myself whose walking who!?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What long black and tasty? Licorice

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

thumb_up thumb_down -23

i didn't listen to a word you just said but...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

djkldfnblfnbofgb

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q:what is the most annoying word that means nothing? A:every word has a meaning your question is invalid. ~Phish <3

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I love you Itachi Uchiha, please let me lick ice cream off of your body and oh crap you're an anime character and not real never mind

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Im Really Stoned And you have met with a terrible fate haven't you?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a bar an orders a few pints. He then goes home and brutally rapes his wife and chains his staring kids to a fencepost in the backyard along with their deceased dog named Spot.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A Mormon walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops