Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -15

fjasdklfjklasdjfasdfk .... sorry i have terets!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's beneath Chuck Norris's beard? A chin I presume, as that is what most humans have under their beards. Chuck Norris is a human and therefore is likely to have a chin. This is all based on the assumption that he is a human, because of the many characteristics he has shown that are humanlike.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Hitler say to the Jew? I don't know, I don't speak German.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Whiney the poo and the blustery day.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do you get when you see jonny cry-a monkey lol

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: why did the cookie go to the doctor??? A: because he was sick

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +20

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops