What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

A man was eating a hamburger when a boy came up and took his hamburger. So the got up and went to the counter and orderd another hamburger

why did i fall? i got pushed!

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

Who like vibrating dildos? Cammy

A jew walks in the german bar, the jew is captured tortured, raped, and shot along with his entire family

What smells like peanut butter but looks like a penis? A penis, I lied about the peanut butter.

Guy A: Why is 6 scared of 7? Guy B: Because 7, 8, 9? Guy A: No, numbers don't have feelings Guy C: That's so dumb Guy A: Hey you know what, this is an A and B conversation so... Guy C: So C your way out? Guy D: Yeah, before D and E come and F U up! Guy E: Are you guys high or something? Guy F: Dude, I'm a girl, F stand for female (Author): Oops sorry Girl F: Thanks Guy G: Mind Blown O_O

Pineapple.

why did the asain hate his life he didn't he was living a good life with large amounts of money with a very hot wife

i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

bish bash bosh giz a nosh

She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

How do u make Michael Jackson cry Dead people can't cry you dumb bitch

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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