Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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What is white, sticky and tastes great? Milk

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

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What do you do when you see a black man limping in your yard? You invite him inside, ask him what happened, and possibly call an ambulance if, God forbid, the situation is that serious.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

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What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

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Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

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who's sexually attracted to bones? James Cornish

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

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Why doesn't anybody like the octopus? There anti-social creatures by nature

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why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

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live or die you decide to late time to die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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