Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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What was Hellen Kellers biggest mistake? Knock knock jokes

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IT SOUNDS SO WROOONG! Actually I was thinking more about when I go short sentences, you go short, then I decide to put in like 500 lines in a single comment and then you do. Besides I call it caps! And no, I do not want you to be like me, there was already another me, it was a complete bitch killing him, I mean if I did not know a lot worse, I would say his chances at kicking my ass where equal. By the way, that "you you seducer" totally sounded like something Donald Duck would say, I dig Donald, so I guess I am into cartoons.

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what is worse than falling off a bridge? .. getting pushed off a bridge

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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Poop

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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Whats 9 plus 10 ... WHO FREAKIN CARES! STUPID.

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So,a guy walks up to his friends at the bar and try's to to talk to them,the friends start being rasist ,so the first guy says 'wo guys stop going in that direction ,that one direction

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

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Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

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What does a black man do when drives up to a STOP sign? Stops.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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Did you ever notice how Bill Nye has a "labrotory" filled with young innocent children? hmmm, very suspicious!

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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