Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

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Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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Her lips aren't proportionally fit to her face

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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Why did the bear eat a group of children? It was hungry.

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Jack Stevens

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Whats the difference between me and a ghost? What? Ghost are not dolphins

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

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Zach Barlow

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Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

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Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

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What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops