a man asked another man what time its it. The man responded by telling him the time and asking why he wanted to know. "thats none of your business" he replied. Why did he say it was none of his business? A- because it was none of his business.

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

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What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

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if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

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A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

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YOU

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So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

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whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

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why couldn't the old man play basketball? he lacked the physical dexterity, had asthma, and had no arms.

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How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

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Have you ever heard about the black man who got shot my a goat? Neither did I.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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Why can't vampires go out in the sun? Becuase they don't exist.

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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What do you get if you cross a egg and toast? Egg n soldiers.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a hemophiliac? A bleeding ass!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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