How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

your momma is so old, she has heart problems

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Im taking a shit right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

vaginas

thumb_up thumb_down +33

If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Write your own

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are read Vliolets are bloo I cant spell How about you

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Women drivers...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops