Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Catholicism.

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Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a slice of tomato A really bad joke

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What's the difference between an apple? An red fox's enzyme defragmenting on tue.

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Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

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hi im paul ! im an alien :D tyuioyt5rtyuikfuhgdehjdhfghjhgfjjhfjfjdjdjd i pe out of my finger :D

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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What do Black people call their fathers? Dad.

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what do i refer too White people = Business Yellow People = Smart Black People = Drug Smugglers, Terrorists, Rapists etc

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

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Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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-Knock-knock. -Who's there? -Interrupting Doctor. -Interrup.. -You have cancer.

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why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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