How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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why did the chicken cross the road he didnt he was hit by a van

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Have you ever seen that gay clown in asda.

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whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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split your ass cheek

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

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Justin Bieber is so gay he dates girls

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Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

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what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

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how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Helena: Can u get me a pencil? Me: Sure. Me: Mr. Brandmeyer can u give me a pencil? Mr. Brandmeyer: Why? Me: I don't know. That's what Helena said.

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Your mom is so poor, she contributes to the high unemployment of the country and didn't even have enough money to feed her family so Social Services came in and took them away

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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