What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are baked until ready and then enjoyed be the person who made them.

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I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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Nock nock Who's there K K who? You forgot the K

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Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

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What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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What do you get when you cross a Poodle with a cupcake? Stop looking at these anti-jokes and get back to work.

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roses are gay s is justin beber s are u justen beber eats crap

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu? A new breed of dog.

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

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Kade was sad. He had finally got a girlfriend when he realized he actually liked men.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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Kony 2012 - Uganda Be Kidding Me

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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