Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

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What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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knock knock who's there bang bang bang bang who where da cash at

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was A bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy went through chemo. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

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Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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do you know that joke? hmm no.. yaa life!

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have difficulty understanding each other.

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Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

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Why are fat people fat? Because they like food.

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops