What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

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How tall is the grass in Germany? ZIS HIGH! *put hand about an inch and half off the ground* I mow it about every ozher week

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What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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What do you get when you cross a lamb and a pigeon? You get your house taken away.

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Why are anti jokes funny....cause morons come up with them...

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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how do you keep a bunch of black kids from jumping on the bed? your real firm with them and tell them someone may hurt themselves if they don't stop with the horseplay..

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What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

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Boxing on Boxing Day

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That awkward moment when you thought this joke was going to be good but you thought wrong. Keep looking for good jokes.

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Why dont blind people go skydiving? Because they dont live when they hit the ground

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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What did the girl with AIDs receive for her birthday? Unprotected sex

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In Soviet Russia, table flip you! ???? ? /(. - . \?

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What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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