A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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Q:what does jgjdhter hjldhgukrh mean A: it means something it is a real word

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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What happens when you park a new Cadillac with a roll of $100 dollar bills on the dashboard in a black neighborhod? Many residents of that peaceful community will briefly glance at it and admire the wealth of the automobile's owner.

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What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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Knock knock. Who's? There Where? Right here.

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

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Ya know why I hate bad puns? Because they aren't punny. In other words they have no real plot and don't make people laugh. They actually tend to get quite annoying.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

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A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

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Why was Junior sad? His parents were killed in a car crash.

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

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what is more fun than shower time with adele. a mass gang bang with antonia

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why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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What's the difference between an apple and a fruit? None

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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