What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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A man walked into a bar. That hurt.

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

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Whats the difference between a loser and a winner there places

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How did the idiot die? He comitted suicide because people were picking on his stupidity. (If you laughed at this you are a horrible person)

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What is yellow and Bear Grills has drunk on National Television. ...Lemonade.

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Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

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What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

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K

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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