Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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An slutty attractive secretary went into her boss' office He killed her.

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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I had sex with my mother in law

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We can never ask enough hypothetical questions, can we? Well?

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What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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