Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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If you place a dog next to a cow, they're not the same size

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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Girls get fucked Boys fuck Gays puke

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Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

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Why was the man sad? Cause his dog fell off a cliff

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

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Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

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Wha'ts the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

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Why did the man cross the road? To get to the homeless shelter.

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One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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