What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? His name.

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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Q: Why was Luigi sad? A: Because he entered the Twilight Zone.

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a horse is running across a cliff at 54 miles per hour, against the wind. he has been running for three hours. he needs to run for 347 more kilometers before he is tired. the wind is blowing at a speed of 10 miles per hour... he wonders if he will make it when suddenly he falls off the cliff. why did he fall of the cliff? it was a retarded horse.

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Want to hear a joke? ... Oh dear, I can't think of any. Golly, this is embarrassing.

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What's worse than five babies in one trash can? One baby in five trash cans.

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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Why couldn't Paul see. He got stabbed in the eye by two mexicans

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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a dyslexic man can't spell a word, don't judge him

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

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your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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