Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats sadder than a lost baby deer? Im too lazy too think of the rest of the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A nuclear device is dropped on hiroshima. Does it make a sound? The answer is yes because the americans are laughing in Enola Gay

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the girl say to the guy raping her? Stop.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the group of black men not get paid for all of their manual labor? It was the early 1800's.

thumb_up thumb_down +138

Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man tells a blonde "you are what you eat" and she replies "well, i don't think I've eaten any sexy beasts today.'

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops