Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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why did the dog go inside the church? cuz the door was open.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

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knock knock who's there a tiger Alex proceeds to walk away as there is a tiger at his front door. he then calls the police because of the potential danger. the animal control then apprehends the animal and takes it to an enclosure

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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