where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

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A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

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Yo momma is so fat when she sat on the i pod she made the i pad!

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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Johnny got hit by a bomb. Where is he now? Everywhere. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Johnny

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What did the orphan get for Christmas. A key chain.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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Slavery

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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what do German people eat at BBQ ' s ? burgers and hotdogs and kebabs and fried chicken with a garnish of summer salad washed down with a cold mouth tingling glass of coca cola and jews

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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Women's rights.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Why can't Tom Maynard play cricket anymore Because he's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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