Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

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why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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Facebook...

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9/11

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How do you get a priest out of a tree? Throw a canoe at him.

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped

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you know whats better than lemonade? sex

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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u jelly?

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CISSY: TIMMY! COME AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK THIS INSTANT TIM: ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\... *CISSY SMACKS TIMMY AND SENDS HIM TO HIS ROOM WITHOUT DINNER.

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Why does World of Warcraft advertise on Anti-Joke? Because World of Warcraft is funny in anticlimactic and alternative way

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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Johnny Depp is Alexander Graham the whole time.

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A racist man walks into an all black church. He has no problem with the people there as he is a black man who hates caucasion people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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