How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Brian finally kissed a girl on the lips... After her daily whore shift of blowjobs -Ap

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than rain on your birthday? Dying

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the girl who's father was murdered do at her wedding? not have a father daughter dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Win and Beau have no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops