When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets suck dick i need a wee

thumb_up thumb_down -11

2 dogs one jar of peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There was an English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man. The Welsh man couldn't make it. Again.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because, unfortunately, he is blind, prohibiting him from reading anything other than brail. He is, however, an excellent musician.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the mathematician cross the road? To get his mail.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

can you touch your toes? no

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

thumb_up thumb_down +8

REHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHAB

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How can you tell if a woman is a man? If she has a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -20

hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops