Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are unintelligent creatures of instinct, and can tell no significant differences between the pavement and the road. It was unfortunate that a bus was speeding past at the moment this event happened.

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What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You finish on her teddy bear.

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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kill yourself

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Stop Iran! We need the money.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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your momma's so stupid she shot herself

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What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

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learn. advance!

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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The word "Walter" is never funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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