Why did spongebob eat Patrick Because he was hungry

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knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

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What did one mail box say to the other? NOTING! In-animate objects cannot speak...

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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if I was a girl I would be touching my self everywhere if I was a girl as a boy I would make a diffrence in poltics but thats not gonna happen.

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A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

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Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

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im the real danny hamilton you stupid asshole

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas

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A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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Bob: What's gucci bro Tim: Is that a company?

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Your mama's so nice, she made me cookies once. And I enjoyed them.

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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Person 1: Eric is in the hospital! I think it was those depression pills. Person 2: What did he overdose? Person 3: No he just took to much.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

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Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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