How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with an alligator? Go take some acid and find out for yourself

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Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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Q: What did the blind deaf orphan get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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A man had a blue hat, a yellow hat and a red hat. This man has three hats.

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What's the deal with brown?

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are in a boat in the middle of the lake when a lightning bolt flashes out of the sky and hits them. Fortunately, no one died because only about 10% of those struck are killed.

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

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anti-joke.com

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luke moore cant pull it back

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops