A baby seal walks into a club.

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Your mom is so poor, she contributes to the high unemployment of the country and didn't even have enough money to feed her family so Social Services came in and took them away

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

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Whats the difference between a frog?

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pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Knock, Knock. Come in!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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Two condoms walk into a gay bar. The people in the bar are perplexed that two inanimate objects are capable of locomotion.

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

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GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

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I forgot what i was gonna say

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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