What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

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Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

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Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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Man 1: is that boy high? Man 2: No. He has down syndrome

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What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Never tell Alzheimer's jokes to old people. They will not remember them.

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Where did the AIDS victim go on vacation? To the hospital.

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Why couldn't sally drive her car? Because sally is a girl.

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Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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What did you say? I don't know.

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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what tall and looks like a jew?

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VITAMIN C!

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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