Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the black person

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender gives him a sprite and charges him $12.

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Wanna hear a joke? What? Life.

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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A blode takes a trip to her favorite restaurant. She arrives safely. After consuming a delicious meal she dies of cancer.

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What's 9 + 10 19

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Do you know what african children do? They die of starvation.

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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What do you call a man in Afghanistan? Either a scuicide bomber a soldier or a tep

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Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

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So there were three guys on a plane. they all died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops