"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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what did the short man say to the shoe? i sincerely hope that someone wouldn't try to carry a conversation with an inannnimate object, or else he is socially disturbed

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What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

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why was the female student failing out of school? because she made bad choices and never gave school her all.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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Why'd The Little Kid Drop His Ice Cream Cone? Because He Witnessed His Mom get Raped in front of his house by the man driving the ice cream truck and the realized that he was licking frozen semen......

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why did the chicken cross the street i dont know thats why im asking you

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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