what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

Moderately entertaining story, friend.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

whos a sick fuck? jake morris

There once was a man from berlin He knocked on a door to go in He got such a fright When the house did ignite That he never went knocking again

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

your mammas so poor she is probably going die in a few days of starvation

Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a knife Take off your clothes

What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

What's worse than Gordon Brown's face? George Bush.

Once you go black, you have a high chance of being in an interracial relationship.

Why was the man crying? He has aids.

*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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