A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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Why is the wimpy guy so strong and angry now? Because he took steroids.

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What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

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What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

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A British man walks into a dentist's office.

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what are you your not a human? are you an other?

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Leaves are green, You should know all this by now...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

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Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

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What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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