A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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Your Mother

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Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have a proper grip on it.

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Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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I see says the blind man " no you don't" replied the deaf man... In the other room

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

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what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

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I LIKE TRAINS

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzy had cancer.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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The Olympics

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Blond answers: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat............?

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Why Did the Drug dealer die He Got Hit by a buss

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a muslim, jew, and catholic went into a bar and sat down and had drinks. The muslim asks the jew "are you macrobiotic". the jew replies "no" and they go about their fun....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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