The awkward moment when you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +11

knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -151

What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock, knock. Who's there? Sasquatch. Sasquatch who? ROAR

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

One day a woman wrote a letter to her husband whom was at war. He received it, read it, and was happy to know she was thinking of him.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what happened to the guy that got attacked by a shark he died

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops