How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

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I'm funnY!!! Haha pënis

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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What would happen if you put a marshmellow in a tractor Because 7, 8, 9

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

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What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

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Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

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Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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i fondle myself every night....

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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What did Jim say to Bob? Hi Bob.

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

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What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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