Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Who was the first person Steven Hawking runs up to when he finds out something new about science? He is in a wheelchair due to a condition called ASL, therefore he cannot "run"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

thumb_up thumb_down -30

your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the man bring the computer to the doctor because it had a virus

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the black person got to Wal-mart? Wal-mart has relatively low prices

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I think everybody should have a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the little girl fall off the swing? she was a double amputee.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops