The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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One man says to the other man "Hello Sir, how are you this morning?" He replies "I am doing rather well, and how are you?" The first man replies "Quite good." And they continue about their day.

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

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Why did Bob fall off the swim? He had no arms or legs.

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Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

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Q. How did the blind man savvier from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died.

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two cannables walk in to McDonalds

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

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What did the Jew say to the other Jew? Found a penny the other day....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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