pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

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A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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A priest, a rabbi, and a baleen whale walk into a bar. The priest says, "Well I believe Jesus Christ is the only begotten son of God and my lord and savior, so I'll have some communion wine." The rabbi says, "Well I don't believe the messiah has yet walked the earth, so I'll have Manischewitz wine." The baleen whale says "EEEEEEOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHH"

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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deez nuts

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(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

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What do you call a black pilot? A niigger

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abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

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What do you say to a blind man in a sunglasses store? Nothing. Why do you feel the need to bother strangers while you needlessly shop at your local merchandise outlet?

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Why did the man take off his pants A: because they were uncomfortable to sit in

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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What is a refrigerator and white all over? A refrigerator

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

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what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What break when you talk?

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Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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