What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

Why did Osama bin laden plan 9/11? Same reason Justin bieber was born....

Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

Who is happpier than the grouch about the Zombie Apoclypse? Dora.

What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

A baby seal walks into a club...

What do you call a black man? Jamal

Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: Because he only cums once a year

I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

What do you get when you cross Jesus with James Woods? Crucifixion

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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