What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? This is no time to make insensative jokes you dick, Billy's on a hospital bed.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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I just lied when I clicked the 'I have read and agree to the Terms of Service' to post this when in fact, I didn't read it at all.

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what did one soldier say to the other... dude take your finger out my a** it has been that long

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my computer teacher just left the room. teehee JLR

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What do u call a man pointing a gun at you? A man with an anger issue

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There once was a man from Dundee. He got stung by an angry wasp. He put some Bactine on it. He lied down and took a rest He felt much better the next morning.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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How do you flatten a worm? Feed it to a little boy, and then drop a refrigerator on him.

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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So this blonde walks into a library.

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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