3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

Q: Why did the young boy run away from girls and screamed that they had cooties? A: That's what little boys do. He also has an abusive home life

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

Laughter and joy... You are really sweet you know.. Excuuuse me princess! But Like Mickey Mouse never changed... From a Potato peeler to some fuckup private detective in a trenchcoat. So tell me, what character did Walt Disney draw before Mickey Mouse?

Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was ferociously raped by a bear.

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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