Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

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A stripper walks into a bar. She works there.

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Why did the man need new glasses? He was thrown off a bridge by a leprechaun.

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What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Docter. Docter who? XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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Did you know that there is no A is "sodimizing"?

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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