Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia ...where am I

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When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

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Q.why did the monkey fall out the tree? A. it was dead Q. why did the second monkey fall out the tree? A. it was hanging onto the first one Q. why did the third monkey fall out the tree? A. peer pressure

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

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What do you call an argument between a Jew and a German? World War 2

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Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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What's black, white, and red all over? The flag of the Arapaho Nation.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

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So a person asked a blonde in America which was closer: the Moon or Canada? The blonde responded "Canada"

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

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A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

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Q: Why did the little Canadian girl start crying ? A: Because her mum through a fridge at her.

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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What do you call a bunch of mexicans jumping out of a truck a family with not alot of money to afford a car so they are forced to ride a truck that can barely fit them all

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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