Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

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Q. Why did the 8 year girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I have no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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(in a retarted voice) i want to go to disneyland

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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A van drives into a car.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What is the defference between an apple and a banana? Horses, because vests have no sleeves.

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Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

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I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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what did the kid say when he could not find his shoe? wheres my shoe?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had 3 testicles

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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