what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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Why did Jane get pregnant Because she bought a man's semen and put it in her vagina.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: Boobees

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

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How many dead kittens can you fit into a trunk? -19

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How many black guys can fit in a minivan? Eight.

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

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Did you hear about the german girl who had sex and died................. it was 50 years later after she had a family of about five kids and lived a happy life as a nurse

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Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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What kind of car does Yoda drive? Nothing, Yoda doesn't exist.

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2 persons in an elevator then, one guy says: dude! smells like your sister! and the other guy is not there

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Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

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why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

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Why did the fat kid break his leg? He got hit by a car

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A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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