In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What is more funny than an anti joke? A real joke.

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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What's worse than an hours detention? Gettind raped by a horse anally.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

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A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body.

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the little girl drop her teddy bear? Because she was being sexually molested. Why did the little Jewish girl drop her teddy bear? Because gas came out of the shower-head.

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What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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