What is big and wet and smells like mushrooms? A big wet mushroom.

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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Why did you visit antijoke.com? Because you don't find real jokes funny.

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Shane Murchan is GAY ..... :L

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Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

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What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

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what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't reply because horses don't speak. However, he is confused and scared by the unfamiliar surroundings. Trying to escape, the horse breaks his leg. The horse must be put down.

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roses are red poo is poo

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sorry about this, my enter key is stuck down... Really sorry guys. Nearly fixed it. Look I said I was sorry! All fixed :~D

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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belly button

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

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if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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