Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck oak? Well, If an oatmeal man could oat chuck oat, then a wood oat chucker could chuck oats.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jebron Lames.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

sky's sty

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red violates are blue, matty is gay, sebby is too

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down

why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

thumb_up thumb_down -56

knock, knock who's there? boo boo who? sorry i dont know anyone named boohoo so get the hell off my lawn

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A dog goes into a bar. He is wearing an eye patch. The dog says to the bartender, "Have you heard the one about the one-eyed dog?" The bartender, who is deaf in one ear, thinks the dog is making fun of him. He asks him to leave. The dog says, "Don't you have a sense of humor, deafie?" At the end of his shift, the bartender is tired of all the jokes. Today it's a one-eyed dog. Yesterday it was a horse with rickets. The day before: ants. He lives above the bar, in a small room. He spends the night alone there, listing to his battery operated radio, which picks up only a bad jazz station. He listens to bad jazz with his bad ear.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the blonde say when she saw anti-joke.com for the first time? Nothing. She's been in a vegetative state for three years and her parents finally decided to pull the plug.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

hey im leon and i love the chuckie

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats Big, black, and in your moms underwesar? A snake that escaped from a pet store which is causing a lot of commotion in the local community. Meanwhile your mom is getting drilled by a big psycho who escaped the mental institution. JMM

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops