A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

sadf

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

69

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have you ever had Ethiopian food before? No? Well neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as the bar was made of metal and the man made forceful contact with the bar which resulted him in saying ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A guy walks into a bar and orders 4 shots. The bartender promptly pulls out a gun and shoots him 4 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do many men find it difficult to make eye contact? Debilitating autism.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops