CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

thumb_up thumb_down +8

This joke isnt funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Passing by

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There are four types of people in this world. I never said I would name them all

thumb_up thumb_down +1

“Knock knock” “Who's there?” “Jesus” “Jesu.............wait, REALY?” “No,Jesus is currently "dead".”

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Gadaffi

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What was Hatsune Miku's last word? bokuwaumaresoshitekizukushosenhitonomanegotodatoshittenaomoutaitsuzukutowanoinochivocaloidtatoesoregakisonkyokuwonazoruomochanarabasoremoiitoketsuinegiwokajirisorawomiageshiruwokobosudakedosoremonakushikizukijinkakusurautanitayorifuanteinakibannomotokaerutokowasudenihaikyominaniwasuresararetatokikokororashikimonogakietebousounohatenimieruowarusekaivocaloid...

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the elephant climb the tree? Because he didn't want to tie his shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's 9+10=? 19

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops