How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you get twenty black men in a tiny car? Saw them into pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

thumb_up thumb_down +34

a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the boy fall off of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, becuse if something is red all over it cannot be black nor white.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops