What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why the monkey fall out the tree? Cause he was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

thumb_up thumb_down +28

So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A blond walks into McDonalds. She orders and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue At least that's what I've been told But honestly I've never seen those flowers so I wouldn't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops