Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

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A teenager walked into a bar. A drunk man got angry and beat him to death with a club.

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Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

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What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

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What is blue and rolls ? A blue, rolling thing.

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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Whats worse than black people : a grimy old woman lickin your toes

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Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

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what do you call 4 black people pushing a car uphill? unfortunate

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What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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