21

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down

It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Q: what do u call a hotdog that's not cooked? A:a raw hot dog

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Where to, sir? Forward.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Poop...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Yes. Just Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't the black person drown? He is very well trained at swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

thumb_up thumb_down -2

i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do JFK and Hitler have in common? They died.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

kevin kim

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops