How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

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your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

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Q: How did the black man die? A: He got hit by a car, and we all know that this is painful.

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Why did the teenager cross the road? To get an abortion.

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An Artic Storm.

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Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

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An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, quite strange to enjoy when you're single.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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hers a joke... japanese people

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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like if u think princess kenny id the fairest maiden in all the land. if u havent played or watched pewdiepie play south park the stick of truth, disregard this message.

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whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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