Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

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What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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There was this fruit joke, but it had no punchline.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

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whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

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How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek? The show already had several minority characters, and the producers felt that the addition of a Hispanic actor or actress would have added nothing of value to the series.

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im gonna sue mcdonalds i asked for a hamburger and it was a beef burger -_-

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What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

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Your chicken just went across the road. What does this tell you about the economy?

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Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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autsim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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