Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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how do you get the high score on doodle jump? jump from platform to platform without falling or being attcked by various monsters.

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Yo mama so fat she died

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A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

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whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

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Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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a horse walks into a bar. what does the bartender say? why is there a horse in my bar.

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there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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4

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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What do you call a black police officer? The drug dealer's inside man.

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding several worms in your apple.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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"What's funnier then this joke? Women's rights." *Your suggestion is contradictory considering the fact that you are implying "Women's rights" is more humorous than "Women's rights".

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what do u get when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant a genetically disformed animal comes out who dies shortly after

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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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