If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

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You sick fiend

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What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

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Q: What does a blond do with a box of crayons? A: Paints a picture

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Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

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How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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Your mums a penis joke.

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Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

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Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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What's better than r a p e? Consensual sex.

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I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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