what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

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"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

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Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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Kathy Griffin.

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

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A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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If your South American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European ( your a pee an)

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Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

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a black kid goes and gets some cereal and spills some flower on him self and he goes to his grandma and says look grandma i`m white and then she slaps him he goes to his grandpa and says look grandpa i`m white and then he slaps him and then he goes to his mom and then says look mom i`m white and then she slaps him then he goes to his dad and then says dad i`ve been white for 20 minutes and i all ready hate yall nigas

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Why do all black people have AIDS? Because they deserve it.

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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Church.

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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