How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

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A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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What do you call someone who copies a previously posted anti-joke without doing any research to see if it has been posted before? a lazy good for nothing rectum licking testicle sucking gonad gobbling arse bandit with narcissism issues

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rabbits running in my bathroom!

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why did the girl fall down someone threw four monkeys and a refrigerator at her

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What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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yo momma is soo stupid when anyone says anything she say i don't understand .

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Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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666 im christian

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What did the jew say to the black man? Nothing they were in a mall that got invaded by evil trees.

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Make an effort in life whenever you want. Fight trough life when you got no other choice.

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What's the difference between a black man with a pie and an asian with an apple. They're of different ethnicitiesand cultures, and are holding different foods.

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

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Your mother has cupcakes, she offers you one, how many does she have left? The same amount she had before, you are full. Moral: Cupcakes.

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I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

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A boy orders a sandwich at a restaurant. He then questions the cashier about it. Boy: Excuse me, Why is my sandwich so bad? Cashier: Sorry, none of our women cooks were in today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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