Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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roses are red, violets? are blue, Im not good at poems, tits

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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What's the difference between a Justin Beiber concert and a hedgehog? With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside, but in a Justin Beiber concert, the pricks are on the inside.

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An Israeli, a Palestinian and an American walk into a bar. The Israeli shoots the Palestinian and says it was self defence. The American agrees with him.

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Why Is Jarrod spencer gay Coz he is

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I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces of me and bounces of you too because sound isn't affected by your adhesive properties.

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How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

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I just painted my nails. I have braces.

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Penis.

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Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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You smell like shit

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:/ Meh, I am just a side character anyways... Dont really care...

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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Whats worse than black people : a grimy old woman lickin your toes

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating it's way out.

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What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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