What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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What's worse than an ice cream cone falling over? The Holocaust. What's worse than that? Two ice cream cones falling over.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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Girlfriend has 10 letters, but then again, so does freeeeedom

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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Roses are blue Violets are green I have issues, What should I do?

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? Me too! I'm so proud of him!

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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what do the Holocaust and Jeff Dunham have in common? they're both hilarious

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What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

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8================D-------- (.Y.)

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There was a asian jew and a black man standing at a bus stop wht do you call the Freinds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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