Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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whats the difference between a European and a african an african has more pigment in his skin due to prolonged exposure to light

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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Why where the 3 little children talking about muffins? Because muffins are smart.

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What did the athiest get for christmas? Well he shouldn't get anything becuase he doesn't belive in jesus.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

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Knock Knock Who's there its me... we need to talk go away tod. i told you never to come back here babe, just open the door why? so you can beat me again? i said i was sorry! i just want to see my little girl... well maybe you should of been there for us! babe... i love you you lying son of a bitch... you dont deserve us open the damn door or i will beat it down im calling the cops YOU BETTER NOT BITCH! I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! tod... please... get out come here no... NO! get the hell off of me!!!! HELP!! RAPE!! RAPE!!! SHUT UP WHORE (crying) please... please... ...mommy? SARAH! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! ooh.. theres my little girl. you miss daddy? GET AWAY FROM HER!!! SHUT UP BITCH! come give daddy a hug what have you done to mommy? what you want some too? SARAH I SAID GET OUT THE HOUSE! GET HELP! ...mommy im scared... (sob) oh your crying? you want something to cry about? OH ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! .... you better get the hell out of here tod.. whoah... babe where did you get a gun GET OUT babe... put the gun down... relax NO YOU RELAX! all these years ive been raising this baby. without you. all by myself. and i dont want you in the picture now. ILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE ill see you in hell... (BANG) (BANG)

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mike. Oh, come in.

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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Q: What did the Big Bad Wolf say to Little Red Riding Hood? A: Nothing, wolfs are mentally nor physically capable of talking

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The other day, I broke my snare drum.... I still haven't fixed it and am planning on doing so soon.

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I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

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Roses are red but violets arent blue!!!!!

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder from your house and kindly help him down.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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