My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

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Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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What did the farmer say when he lost his pig? Wheres my Pig?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Ebola

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Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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whats hard, its not what you think a penis

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dieing in a hole.

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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why did the black man go to jail why he raped your mom

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what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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Have you seen Hellen Kellers mon?... Neither has she

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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