If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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your face.

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Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe, all mimsy were the borogoves and the momeraths outgrabe

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What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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what's funnier than the holocaust? 2 holocausts and 9/11

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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A hayride would be fun.

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knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Wayne Gacy.

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Yo momma's so fat, however, she takes pride in her size because every body is beautiful.

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Yo momma so normal, she got married, had three kids and then lived a dull but contented life.

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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whats dirtier than lady gaga's penis in justin bieber's vagina? nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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