So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS 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ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS A

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What happens if a guy is gay? You call him Verl.

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I hate blackniggers

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

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Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

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Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither did she.

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why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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What do 69 and carpets have in common ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????1?2?3?4?5?6?7?8?9?0?????????#???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????©®™????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Nothing

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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The african american male looked into his refridgerator hoping to have some orange juice to drink with his breakfast. All he had was Kool-Aid. He then proceeded to drink the Kool-Aid.

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there once was a guy named james who like to play video games he was told one day that he was gay and he immediatley consulted a priest for reconciliation

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Gustavo Andrade

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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