Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

Why was the boy hot? Because he was stuck in an oven.

What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? A sandwich doesn't scream when I put my salami in it.

Nobody doesn't like Sarah Lee. There are no humans, at all, anywhere in the world, who do not like Sarah Lee. None. Not even one. They do not exist in reality. Everyone likes Sarah Lee. Everyone.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

Knock knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Names don't matter. Now shut up and let me in before I kill your family

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

I enjoy Popcorn

knock knock whos there steve i dont know you go away

Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

Why did Timmy drop his ball? Because he was hit by a bus. A) Knock knock? B) Who's there? C) Not Timmy

How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

how bout that airplane foood!!!1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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