how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

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What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

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a horse walks into a bar except it wasn't a horse it was Sarah Jessica Parker

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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2 muffins are in the oven. After about 15 minutes, they both died.

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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A Jew walks on his way to work. He does not notice the quarter lying on the sidewalk and did not care for the dollar lying on the other side of the road.

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A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender," I'd li.........................ke one beer please. " The bartender replied, " Sure. But why the big pause? "

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What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

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Can a nine iron? No, but a tucan.

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Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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