What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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Women's rights.

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What did the doctor say to the minority, parapalegic after he barely escaped a fire alive? You just got burned!!

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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Roses are red, Bacon is red, Poems are hard, Bacon

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what the hell happened to your face

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What's sad about the Holocaust? well i don't know ,it may or may not have anything to do with you and cause absolutely no sad emotions toward the subject. I for one don't care.........

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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What's black and white and red all over? A racially integrated society.

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whoever just posted that stupid yo mama crap answer my comment

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what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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your face is kinda funny

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

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Obamacare

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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