A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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Why didn't the parachute open? nevermind

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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Why is it bees travel in formation, one side is longer than the other? ... There are more bees on one side

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Hollocaust. What's worse than the Hollocaust? 3 bee stings.

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Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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Q:what do you call a black bunny with five eyes? A: i don't know I have never heard of such a thing

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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Why did the little boy run away from Michael Jackson? Because he was scared

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What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

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Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

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Why do christians believe in God? Because believing in God is fundemental in their belief system; if they did not believe in God they simply wouldn't be christians. Muslims are in a similar predicament.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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whats 2+2? 1

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why was the hobo sad his box was confiscated

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Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

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Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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