What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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why is 6 afraid of 7 its not, they actually have a domestic partnership going

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

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What makes a subaru a subaru? The fag thats driving it

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If you see a pink banana, you are color blind.

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Whats fleash color flesh color and fleash color? a hodo rolling down a hill.

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Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

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Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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Yo mamas so stupid that she received slightly below average in her latest maths test

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What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

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What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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What did the priest do to the little crying boy in an enclosed room? He forgave the boy for his sins. Then he raped him.

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A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

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Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

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Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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