knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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Now that I'm of age to go clubbing, I feel sorry for the seals.

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

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Knock, Knock ...

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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Why did the black man drown? Because he didn't wait 30 minutes after eating.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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if dragonflies have purple toe nails, then how many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? canada, because snakes don't have armpits!

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Ching Chong Bing Bong.. Yoyao? Dat U?

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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How meny Jews can you fit in an ash-tray? None. There to big

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What is chewy and tastes like gum? Chewing gum.

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Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She says ow

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You have friends

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Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

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Whats fat yellow and diabetic Brett lai lan

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

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What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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