What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

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what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

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KNOCK KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BOO. OH, HEY. COME IN. ....

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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what's worse than 10 dead babies in one trash can? 1 baby in ten trash cans

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

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But who would want to sell us out and why?

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How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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So these two girls have a cup .

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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Yo momma is so stupid that the only test she passed was the mental retardation test.

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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scientology.

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

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what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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