What's red, fast, and flies through the air? A tomato in a plane.

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What do you do if Zombies are chasing you and your friend? Trip the friend.

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Penis jokes.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Nothing, ducks cannot talk.

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BILLY BOB JAM:KNOCK KNOCK!! BOBERT:WHAT!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WOULD I EVEN CARE?!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WONT YOU SHUT UP BILLY BOB JAM ORLANDIO STEAK?!!?!?!GET ME OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what would you like to drink?". The horse, unable to comprehend english, just nods and proceeds to shit on the floor

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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Why Didnt John Return any of his calls he was in a very serious car accident fell into a coma and will probablly will not wake up ever again

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

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Penis.

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I HATE EVERYTHING OMG PEOPLE SUCK BOYS SUCK IM TAKING MY RAGE OUT ON THE INTERNET FDJKNDLKXC

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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