What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

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Where did the little girl go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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what do you say to a black man with a Porsche? "hey man, i like your car."

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Waseem is not a funny guy!

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Yo mama so fat she doesn't need news, shes worldwide. ~YN~

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What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

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What do you call a black guy who sells drugs? a pharmacist

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A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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A dyslexic woman wears a bar.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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Jews

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops