What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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Knock Knock Who's there Bannana O He lives next door

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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Why did the boy find love? because if the girl did not love her he would kill her

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What do you call a Chineses filled with bus?

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A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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how do make you a child cry? break his fingers

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

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What do you call a black priest? a priest, you racist

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Ill admit it Nero, although you act like a savage you make a fine statement there, maybe we will ask her to join one time huh?

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

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Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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