Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

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Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Rape

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

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Q:Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Conrad Barry

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A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink and ponders why his mother gave him the name, "A neutron."

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Why did the boy get teased? Because his name was spelt wrong (k)urtis

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hello. We would like to talk about Jesus with you.

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin When They Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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Cut off your fingers and lose weight fast!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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