What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

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Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

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Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

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Q: What do you call a dog after the dentist? A: A dog.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

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what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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race-car = rac-ecar

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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