Chuck Norris walked into a bar. He was greeted with much respect considering he was a talented actor.

After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

jgkbk,mn

who farted i did :]

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe. N

Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

Two cats were in a bathtub. They both, however, were uneasy the whole time, as it is common sense to know that cats do not like being in water.

What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

whats the problem with black and mexican jokes? once youve heard juan youve heard jamal

in the begining... god made some stuff

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

Man walks in the bar then buys a drink

Roses are red Violets are blue This difference is due largely to the alteration of the white light wavelenght as it excites the electrons in both flowers and the absorption of most of the other colours of the spectrum.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...