What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

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Black people. They are so kind.

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

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A Jewish person was found dead in an alley way last night, Hitler did nothing wrong.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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A man walks into a bar. He is a diabetic and promptly goes into a coma after drinking.

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What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

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if a joke has not punch line, how does that strike you?

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How old is the old man? Probably how old he is

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops