A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

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Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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