Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

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What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

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What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

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What did the DJ play at the disco? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill? Confused, mind bruised, it seeps out It seeps out, it seeps out Face down, home town looks so grey Looks so grey, looks so grey Convexed you bend, twist and shout Twist and shout, twist and shout Stand up brush off get moving Get moving, get moving What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) Face down, home town, face down, home town Face down, home town, it looks so grey (x4) What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/monster_lyrics_automatic_the.html All about Automatic The: http://www.musictory.com/music/Automatic+The

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How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

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How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue this poem sucks, GET OVER IT -brett

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

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What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

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Why did the man die? He got shot!

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You should never talk to strangers.

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A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

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Dick spice

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What's Black white and red all over? Half a penguin

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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NEVER

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Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

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what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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