Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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Chicken

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An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

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What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

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what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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Hey Patrick Yeah? I found something funnier then 24 Give it to me buddy 25

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

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12 sea cows waddle into a bar... Yea, I bet, you'd like to hear the end of that one.

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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What do chicken babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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I like hats XD!

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What's 9+10=? 19

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Knock Knock Hows there Theres no time for this you have AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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