ask if someone wants to hear a joke then say "never mind"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy? You're skinny

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Three jews walked into a bar I lied, it was a gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the Mexican drive off a cliff Because he lost control of his vehicle which resulted in an unplanned trajectory causing his car to divert from the intended course and thus veer off the road onto the cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was the black woman forced to sit in the back of the bus? all the other seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

thumb_up thumb_down

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A cow was very inconveniently standing in the middle of a golf course. An alligator dragged the cow into a swamp. The cow dies

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is funny about family guy?the jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? A: Whereas intelligent blondes are known to exist, most scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a living animal, in part because of the large numbers thought necessary to maintain a breeding population.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the black man fall off the bicycle? He was shot at close range by one of a gang of young white males. This horrific violence was most likely fueled by racial prejudice. Our thoughts go out to the young man's family and friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Back when I was your age, we had to entertain ourselves with video games and TV.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops