what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

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if a man is alone in the forest, and there are no women around to hear him...........is he still wrong?

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What's good about freedom of speech? Only the idea. Try saying something about Muhammed or calling a cop a power-mad taxman.

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How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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What is the #1 cause of pedophiles? Sexy children

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What is Worse than the holocaust?

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A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.

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Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

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How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

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What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

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why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

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Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

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police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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A: knock knock B: the door is open, why don't you come right in?

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why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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