Knock knock! Ding dong.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have outsimers Wait what?

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I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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roses are red violets are blue my name is kate boyd im gay

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A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

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What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

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A bird flew into a cave and Batman said, "GET OOOUUUTTT!"

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? reading posts on this website that arent antijokes. Seriously poeople... you cant just say something that random than put something tragic. it has to be funny and tragic.

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Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

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why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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