Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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NEVER

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What do you call a blonde with a diploma? Dum,because blondes are still dum

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

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why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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Facebook...

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9/11

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How do you get a priest out of a tree? Throw a canoe at him.

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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