Roses are red Violets are blue im a retard dictionary

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the man cold? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did one tree say to the other? move over

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black man carrying a bag full of drugs? A police officer who has just confiscated the bag from a drug dealer and is on his way to send the bag off to be destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Please? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? When you think that there is no worm in your apple, but after your second bite you look down in disgust as you notice you have eaten half of the worm and see the other half wriggling about in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why is 6 afraid of 7? because 6 is a capitalist and 7 is a communist

thumb_up thumb_down +8

That guy is so lame, he needs a wheelchair to go places.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops