- Anti Joke

Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

Ask me if im a tree! Are you a tree? No

How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

What did ahmet say to adem...? LEMME SUCK ON THOSE TITS joke made by dark

Roses are red violets are blue I'm black give me money

Why did the black man have blood on his hands? He was a surgeon

Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

A genie walks into a bar. The bartender asks for three wishes. The genie says "okay". The bartender says "I wish I was the richest person in the world." The genie says "okay." Then He woke up

What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

Hey Eduardo Luis Torres Guerrero 36 years old of age formerly living somewhere in Washington DC (ill get an update on what the name of this place is) and the only Pedophile (in the world?) Somehow with three fucking last names. I do not like you "Edward Lewis Richardson" (yeah thats the name we know him the best by people, this is fraud in addition to everything else), you got the cops to raid my home, you got me in handcuffs because you started the rumors that I was injecting cocaine, into my stomach... Which makes as much sense as... Nothing. I am out now, asshole, its Insulin, but you know that already, since you stole my insulin pens apparently in order to inspect them (they are not even needles technically) from my office and threw them away probably since they both say insulin, and proceeded to spread rumors. (we got footage you know) Did I mention that our private detective which is gathering information regarding you as we are about to sue you (do not worry about your wife, she is divorcing you after I told her that you personally told our private detective while piss drunk that you have 11 STD`s (hell I never even heard of that many) all of them contagious, it was my moral obligation among other things. As said we are filing a case against you. Also, the work laptop on your office is not your property, and neither are the files on them (work policy) and while you have an astounding collection of pornography, they found some illegal porn including minors. Needless to say, your request for a promotion is denied, you are fired, our policy allows us to withdraw your Christmas bonus (leaving you in the negative sum, they want your car back for repossession. We are suing you while you rot in jail, your life sucks, and as soon as our detective finds out more about you, I am going to post this wherever I want for all of my staff and your family to see. And you should know how much our staff loves gossip, most of our male staff are pissed at you and want you dead and worse, this "worse" is a thing prison inmates will do to guys like you once you get there. (Sorry colleagues, employees and etc, this is all the info we got for now... Well he sells marijuana, uses cocaine (what do you know!?) is a member of an active ring of men that engage in sexual activity with male animals, his rolex is faker than his "brand new" Audi which is clearly a model from 2001, because it looks like shit and clearly states 2001 several places. And yeah staff members, I know much of this is hard to believe... Or is it? I can add more (I WILL add more) he owes money to the Russian mafia. Thats it for now, the police has not found him yet Consider this my payback Edward Lewis, I asked the cops if It was okay for me to post this, after saying "oh we know where he is, but I would not say it is morally right for you to post his personal information". Then I started typing this. This information is not personal, its what we wound on our laptop in what was your office, its what your wife is telling me as I help her move to... I wont say, its only right. And no you monster, its not at her mothers again. You know what? The information his computer alone gives us, just gets sicker and sicker, In case you are wondering who I am I am your lead attorney and supervisor, I know a thing or two about the law, and believe me, I am not the one breaking it when I share this Eduardo... (sicker as a large order of non humanoid shaped dildos, pictures of... I dont want to make out what that is... Anyways the laptop is taken into police custody as we speak, and the police will continue searching every single computer, so move away from the screen, anyone found deleting stuff will probably be associated with Eduardo, so if you have you know been watching porn or whatever, leave it be its against the rules but after this its nothing. Anyway, I am about to throw up now so I am off. Okay everyone get back to work I need to go throw up.

What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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