Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because his mother was dieing of terminal cancer in the hospital across the street where the bar was. he was drinking because he is an alcoholic.

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nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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What do black people and apples have in common? They are both fruit... except for black people

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

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what do you call a Puerto Rican with no arms? Trust worthy

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what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

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How did the black person die? Of old age

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

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The Olympics

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Yo mama is so nasty she won't take a shower till she is dead you idiot says the boy she won't die she has twenty thousand live

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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So a blonde woman gets into her car. She then drives to the grocery store because she is hungry and wants to buy food to make her dinner.

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Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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