Why can't Billy ride a bike? Because he's a fish

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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rawrrrrrrrrrrr

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Two Mexicans walk into a bar, The bartender says your hired.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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Guess what. Butts. www.youtube.com/c/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

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Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

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What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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hahahahahah http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=sonny+bartlett&hl=en&sa=X&tbm=isch&tbnid=s37cS73V74A8YM:&imgrefurl=http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCASl7llFhDpTF8vwjDlGI_g/videos&docid=kJoLzGiYRM-2AM&itg=1&imgurl=https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-si7_hCcHI7E/AAAAAAAAAAI/AAAAAAAAAAA/HzlEl3ilyyM/s55-c-k/photo.jpg&w=55&h=55&ei=GrgsUZ_kJqac0AWExIC4BQ&zoom=1&biw=1024&bih=616&iact=rc&dur=188&sig=111947294788926856610&page=1&tbnh=55&tbnw=55&start=0&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:0,i:109&tx=27&ty=11

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What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

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Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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