Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

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A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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WHYS S AFRAID OF B CAUSE OF SBB

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why did the panda go to the store? to buy milk.

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knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

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What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Darude- Sandstorm

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why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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why do i want to get raped because then its not rape

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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The more I learn to understand myself, the more true I am towards my values the less human I feel. The irony is, that there will always be other humans feelng the same.

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Tell you something funny.

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Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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