This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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-What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage. _________________________________________________________________ -What's the difference between 1,000 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't use a pitch fork to move my Lamborghini.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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Why didn't the Asian student ask for a calculator? Because he was busy washing the dishes and thought a calculator would be completely inappropriate for the situation at hand.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

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how come so many people die every year due to starvation? They don't have enough food and there aren't nearly enough spider monkeys in North America.

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Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

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you.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Q: What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? A: Drowning.

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Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

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I like my coffee the same way I like my woman with big tits I lied about the woman

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why did the chicken cross the road? -----it didnt

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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