Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a black man? Jamal

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: Because he only cums once a year

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you cross Jesus with James Woods? Crucifixion

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops