What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun.

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Why did the woman lie down? She was dead

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

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What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

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Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

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Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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Her lips aren't proportionally fit to her face

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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Why did the bear eat a group of children? It was hungry.

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Jack Stevens

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Whats the difference between me and a ghost? What? Ghost are not dolphins

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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Anti-Jokes is addicting, you know what else is addicting? Heroine.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

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A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

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Zach Barlow

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Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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