*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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Homework.

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Two farmers are standing in a field. One says: "It's a bit cold today, don't you think?" The other doesn't reply, because he is trying to work out how to tell the first farmer that his son has just been killed in a road accident.

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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A Jew, a Mormon, and an Atheist walk out of a bar. They all get in a car with the Jew driving. They were all deceased do to the fact of a very large car accident. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive!

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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What's the best anti joke? this one

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

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The original Superman: Cruelty! Do you remember the original superman color movies? Like when he just deflected lasers bombs fire and bullets, he threw busses, spun around the world, was completely immune to anything but kryptonite and then... (pls dont hate) ...Fell of a horse and became a complete cripple?

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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