A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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Q: What's black and blue and hates sex? A: The 8-year-old boy tied up in my garage.

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Hello

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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What Do You Call A Fake Noodle? ----An Impastaaa!!!!!

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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a man was shot.... he died

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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a blonde and a brunette sit down to take an IQ test. They both scored above average and were very proud.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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