Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Well, it depends on how many Jews there are and what kind of car it is.

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why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

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Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

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What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

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What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

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Knock knock Who's there Police

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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a person cries in the corner you go over to them and rape them

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theres a black guy and a mexican whos driving the cop

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How do you starve a black man? Tell welfare to cancel food stamps

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Nothing, fishes don't speak, and due to their short memory he's probably forgotten about the event already, although he may have a pretty bad headache

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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What has 8 legs , 6 eyes and 3 mouths ? - A cowboy riding a horse while holding a chicken .

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why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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how many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? usually one but depending on the severity of the patients' case the lightbulb will be changed by a person who is willing to offer their assistance as to prevent any form of accident taking place.

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knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops