What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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What's worse than rain on your birthday? Dying

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what is orange? an orange

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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Guess what.. chicken butt

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Q:What is harder than nailing ten dead babies to a tree? A:Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

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What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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what did the girl who's father was murdered do at her wedding? not have a father daughter dance.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

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Win and Beau have no friends

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops