Never tell Alzheimer's jokes to old people. They will not remember them.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Where did the AIDS victim go on vacation? To the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't sally drive her car? Because sally is a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did you say? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what tall and looks like a jew?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

VITAMIN C!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey, Have you Seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

thumb_up thumb_down

wanna hear a good joke? neither do I

thumb_up thumb_down -37

what do you do if you see an asian trip on a step? help him/her up and ask if their alright.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops