Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Knock Knock Who's There? It's Me. Oh, OK. Come On In.

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how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Minecraft!

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

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Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

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Bumsniffer

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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