Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

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What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attempting to get back to his farm.

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse then precedes to beat the bartender voraciously for making fun of his religion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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