If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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...NO.

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who do hannah morgan and bonnie do in their free time? ANTI JOKEZ

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so i was on anti joke and i read a joke, it made me laugh.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

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There once was a mathematician, a physicist and an engineer in a room without an exit. The ceiling catches fire. They all die.

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What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

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What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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What did the muslim say to the jew. Hello

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Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

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What did the monkey say to the owner of the world's rarest stamp? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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why was the hobo sad his box was confiscated

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?' The horse says "I was just diagnosed with testicular cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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