What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

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How do you know your cat is gay? Other cats have buttsex with him

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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Whats a buch of blacks running down a hill called? The Detroit, MI marathon in seeing that 84.3% of Detroit's population is of Arican descent.

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

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Whats the difference between a raisin and a old lady? One is alive, i think.

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

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Yogurt? You are joking right? I am having yogurt right now, do you like see trough me or something? I mean I have been told people can do that but no way!

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has has no arms.

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Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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