A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

thumb_up thumb_down -59

What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock (No response) Knock knock (No response)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My parents died!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops