What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

thumb_up thumb_down -155

What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

thumb_up thumb_down +37

The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Mexican, a Caucasian, and an African-American jump out of an airplane. They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

thumb_up thumb_down -6

who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

thumb_up thumb_down +19

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

2 men were in a bar, One was talking to the other, "I was walking down the street someone fell." "ha" "isis it true?" "What" "isis" and a bomb went off and they all died

thumb_up thumb_down +1

*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops