Q: y does obama keep raising gas prices A: he dosent want anyone to be able to drive to the poles in november

what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

Q: How did the woman die in the black neighborhood? A: She suffered a fatal heart attack while visiting one of her friends. Everyone mourned their loss.

ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

ask if someone wants to hear a joke then say "never mind"

Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock? who's there? not sally.

What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

John Travolta goes to the supermarket..

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

Why did the chicken cross the road? A man held him at gunpoint and threatened to kill his entire family.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

What happens when Brittany Spears is hungry? She goes to taco bell for food

Cheese stick

Why is cheese yellow? Answer: I don't know, I was hoping that you would know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...