What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down -24

My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

violets are blue, my name is Dave. this poem makes no sense. microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock, knock! Who's there? your enemy your enemy who? your nemesis who was brutally raped and murdered last nigh.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

why is stu taking so long to post a joke because he is autistic

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Instead of throwing out his garbage, a young boy decided to play a prank on some passersby and left a banana peel on the sidewalk. moments later an elderly woman walked past and slipped on the banana, falling backwards and smashing her head. The young man watched from the bushes as paramedics shook their heads and placed a now lifeless body in a body bag and took it away. The young boy, startled and shocked at what he just saw, tried to run away, but slipped on his own banana peel, falling backwards onto the pavement. The young boy was lucky and survived, but later had to go to therapy for many years to come, the thought of his prank gone wrong torturing him until he took his own life. What is the moral of the story? Do not litter, ALWAYS throw out your garbage.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a baseball player on the Yankees, and one on the Red Sox? One was named Jeff, the other wasn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops