Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

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What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

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What KFC? Deep fried aborted babies.

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

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Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

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Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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hi

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Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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why is 6 afraid of 7 its not, they actually have a domestic partnership going

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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If a guy has a sex change what is the first thing he would say? Boobies!

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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A: Knock Knock! B: RING THE DOORBELL YA DUMMY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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