Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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A gay man takes another gay man home after a wild night at the city's top club. They choose to be safe and not have gay sex.

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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No it doesnt..

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"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

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What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

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A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

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A Chinese man fails a math test

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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Throw your crépe right into an ocean Where an octopus can get it in all the commotion With the crépe and the ocean and the oc-to-pus

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4/20.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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a

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Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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