How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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i had sex i stuck my dick into your mouth

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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Why shouldn't you drink and drive? Because you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

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How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? -You can research and find several similarities and differences, but I will not go into detail about them.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

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Roses are red Violets are blue we're going to have sex because i'm stronger than you

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A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? A:blue

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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A black man is picking cotton in a southern white mans field. This is because the white man is paying a more than fair wage and the black man is a 3rd generation cotton picker who enjoys taking part in his heritage.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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