Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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i died. new product by steve jobs. also presenting icoffin, and next year icoffin 2. slightly slimmer with a lock button to keep zombies out.

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Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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Q: What's the deal with air line food? A: An airline meal or in-flight meal is a meal served to passengers on board a commercial airliner. These meals are prepared by airline catering services. The first kitchens preparing meals in-flight were established by United Airlines in 1936. These meals vary widely in quality and quantity across different airline companies and classes of travel. They range from a simple beverage in short-haul economy class to a seven-course gourmet meal in long-haul first class.

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What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? They were both great singers.

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KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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-What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage. _________________________________________________________________ -What's the difference between 1,000 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't use a pitch fork to move my Lamborghini.

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who's best is friend is really good looking? James Cornish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops