What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't because he wasn't capable of having emotions after he fell into a coma and died 10 months ago after a severe car crash involving a drunk driver. The believed driver,3 had a blood alcohol of .26 and rear ended 6's car at 60 mph. 3 was uninjured and promptly arrested but....6 wasn't so lucky. The doctors said there was no chance of him coming back and they pulled the plug.He was only 9 days away from his 32nd birthday. The funeral was held shortly after, 7 seemed the most upset and couldn't hold back the tears well enough to make it through the whole service. The family is now forever scarred. In Loving Memory of 6 February 22,1982-February 13,2014 Loving father, Caring husband, Forever in our hearts

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

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"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

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Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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what did the asian father say to his son after seeing he got a B- in math? "There's small room for improvement but overall you did a great job son."

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Kathy Griffin.

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

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your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

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A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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