What do you call a Jewish wanna be gangster? Drake

Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

The Mets win the World Series

Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Very, very hungry.

A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

How many babies does it take to fill a ditch? Six if you pack them in really tight.

What's weird about four black men in a toilet? No one got shot.

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

Why was 6 afraid of seven? Seven brutally abused and raped 6 as a child.

what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like there's two of me! There's not. Your long lost twin died of terminal cancer.

Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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