Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

What is the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

What's brown and sticky? A stick. But if you answered poop you aren't wrong.

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

Why so serious? Why bad grammar?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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