Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -10

- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the girl fall off her bike? Someone threw a piano at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Who's there Police

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

BIG PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than find ten babies in a trash can? Find a baby in ten trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mom is so old, -just kidding. I know she died at a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops