What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

There is an elephant, a zebra, a lion, and a black man. The black man is enjoying his visit to the zoo.

Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. What's not pink and fluffy? Rape.

Who ate the cookies? Your face. Litterally.

How can you tell a blonde a brunette and a red head apart? Ask them if that is their natural hair color.

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not her.

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the kangaroo die? Because two stapled koalas fell on its head.

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a joke.

A man was shot. He died.

What's better then a bad anti joke? A Good anti joke.

identical jokes get different votes.

What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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