What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's long and black? A long and black object.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

thumb_up thumb_down

Her lips aren't proportionally fit to her face

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the bear eat a group of children? It was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Jack Stevens

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Chayton

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are red violets are dead honey is yellow and so is head

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats the difference between me and a ghost? What? Ghost are not dolphins

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar. He sees two horses, and about 15 other men in there which seem to have their own ethnicity and religion preferences. About 20 people on the sidelines were on anti-joke.com, writing down these jokes. About two leave at the same time, noticing that there is a horse in the bar. The man goes outside. Five swingsets are right next to each other, and some kids with no arms or no legs cannot swing. They are also being called names. An old adult is climbing a telephone pole with a backpack full of bananas. Also, a boy drops his ice cream after getting hit by a bus. And at the same time, he notices that most of these are better than the holocaust. He thinks, "do I live in Crazytown?" Well, he does.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti-Jokes is addicting, you know what else is addicting? Heroine.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops