What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than the Holocaust? People trying to be funny writing the same jokes over and over.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did I do last night?work

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's blue and pink and sweet? Cotton candy.

thumb_up thumb_down +124

What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Banana Hamock.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the transvestite hooker say when he/she saw a robot fighting a dinosaur? That's strange.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is the difference?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

WHAT? FRIENDS? DID YOU NOT READ MY QUICKFUCK PROFILE? Likes: Orgies. Favorite color: Pussy. Description:Looking for women with vaginas (maybe an asshole is fine too) Please, I am a womanizer, of course we are friends, heck I am even romantic, you know romantic as in... Uh... Well, maybe not my rose bud... (because that did really not appear at the solve media right now)

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops