Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virgian Hawk

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he felt like it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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What would Loiter Squad be if the characters were white? A show.

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What did the P.E. coach say to the fat kid? you need to exercise

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Why couldn't the surgeon perform surgery? Because he was in court being sued due to the fact that he administered too much anesthesia to a patient, who later died of overdose..

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Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? Subscribe to find out; starting at only $14.99 a month! For more jokes similar to this one, subscribe to "Horrible Jokes" for $95 a month! Subscription Plans: - $14.99: Answer one joke per month - $49.99: The above plan... PLUS a free copy of "Antijoke, the book" - $99.99: A free cookie - $1099.99: A free cookie and a pass to the dark side - $0.25: Eternal happiness Order now for best prices! Or else we'll burn down your house and kill your extended family! Thank you!

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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Whats black,White and Asian? everything we are all equal

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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