Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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A black person walked up to another black person, and tells him a pun the other black person laughs and walks away

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How do you make a anti-joke on this website? Type it out, click I have read and agree to the Terms of Service, then press submit.

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why did the owner of Google decide to name the company "Google"? google it..

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What do you you call a mexican that jumped the border? successful

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Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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no

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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a guy named bob likes sprinkles on his ice cream.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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