Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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What starts with F and ends with uck? Fire truck

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Why did the White guy wanna be Black? He liked basketball.

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What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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Q. Why did little suzy fall off her swing? A. She dosen`t have any arms. Knock knock. Whos there? Not Suzy.

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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q. whats worse than finding your girlfriend cheating on you a. the holocaust

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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What did the white doctor say to the black doctor? We both went to medical school.

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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Q: Why do homeless people smell bad? A: Because they live on the street and they dont take showers it's very sad sometimes.

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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Ok so, we have bread , tofu, coolwhip

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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Penis-Pump

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Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

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try this on someone: Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock Who's There? Knock Knock They will keep asking who's there while you laugh

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How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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