Your mother is a very respectable woman.

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Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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What's the difference between a jew, a muslim and a christian. They follow different belief systems

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The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

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My butt!!!!!!!!

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

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Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H20" and the second one says, "I'll have some H20 too." The second scientist dies after drinking hydrogen peroxide.

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Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

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Why did the Muslim get on the plane in New York? To go visit his dying aunt in Memphis.

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

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My name is Harry.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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