What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly? Heavy military manufacturing and Blitzkrieg battlefield tactics.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's better if you don't understand

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock Whos there? The Police, your mother just died of bowel cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So i was walking down the street and this guy was really excited. I said "what is so Exciting?" He said "i just saw Justin bieber kiss a girl."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did dinosaurs die??? because a giant rock blew them up

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black kid with a backpack? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

thumb_up thumb_down

Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops