How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

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Doctor: Knock, Knock Patient: Who's there? Doctor: The interupting doctor Patient: The interruptin.... Doctor: You have aids.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

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If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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Knock Knock I'm sorry but the new don't ask don't tell laws require me to not answer but do feel free to come in for some tea.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

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What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

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What KFC? Deep fried aborted babies.

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

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Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

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Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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