roses are red violets are blue get down your trousers cause im waiting for you

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What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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What did Abraham lincoln do after getting assassinated? Certainly not riding a bike thats for sure.

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What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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How do you get rid of herpes? You shoot up the cancer ward of a hospital.

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A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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What did the lady find out when she went to the doctor. She had breast cancer.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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How do you know that you tv has been stolen? It's no longer there.

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What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

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What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

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How do you break up with a guy? you kick him in the nuts.

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What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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