What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night, To find nothing amiss.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

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Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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i just got pulled over by a cop. he asked me if i had been drinking, i said no. he asked me to step out of my car so he could look inside i looked nervous, and had no other choice to step out. he knew there was something in there he looked in and saw it THE REFRIDGERATOR

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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The Definition of Megan Bates 800 Hamburgers

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm ovulating

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What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

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What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

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i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

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What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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