What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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What did the girl say when the boy asked her out? Yes.

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

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Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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why was 6 afraid of 7?

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

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Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why was the black man put in jail? Because he escaped.

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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why was the kid named owen? Because thats what his parents wnted him to be named

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

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what did the guy say on friday ? ah man im so glad its not monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday he then threw a horse at a plane while moonwalking on a star that was riding a duck that was on a rabbit. Sir jumpalot was working overtime as he had to pay for a free phone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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