Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

Knock Knock Whos There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley.

How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

If only i were a man! You not! Your a.... WO-MAN!

What's long and black? A line at KFC.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha

Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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