I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

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split your ass cheek

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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retard

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Steve is 12. He has a friend named Gary. Later in his life steve will realize that he is gay and will fall for a man also named Gary. Gary and steve will be together forever. Until steves friend gary goes insane because this man has stollen his name and go and kill the other gary. The end.

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy there were skid marks in front of the dead dog

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Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

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A boy orders a sandwich at a restaurant. He then questions the cashier about it. Boy: Excuse me, Why is my sandwich so bad? Cashier: Sorry, none of our women cooks were in today.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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DONALD TRUMP DIES

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Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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