The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

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Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

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How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

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Your mom is so stupid, she thought the square root of pie was 3.14156

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why dont we just take bikini bottom and push it somewhere else

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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42

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what did the tree say when it fell down? Nothing it is humanly impossible for a tree to talk. Especially after it fell down. I mean that would hurt.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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So a guy with no legs and no arms is on his death bed. He asks to sky dive one time before he dies.

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boobs

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Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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oh hai

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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