What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

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If two blondes had a kid it would probably be a blonde because two recessive chromosomes have a higher chance of showing than one dominant gene.

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

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Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

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There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

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Whats a box full of sand? a sandsquare

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

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Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

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What did one cat say to another? Cats cant talk

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why didn't the boy go to school because he died last night

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Katy Perry

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What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

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Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

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Girl: Want to stay over at mine tonight? Guy: Yeah I'd love to! Girl: Tough, you can't

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

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What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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