What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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whats bloop with an m? matthew

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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What do you call a black guy that sings? A singer.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

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How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

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How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

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why did the chicken cross the road ask jake darby

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Why did the Japanese man commit suicide? He was terminally ill and decided it was his time to go

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Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

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Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Two Girls One Cup

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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