A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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If I was black, I wouldn't be white.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Lebron Traveled

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what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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The chicken crossed the road.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

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Why did the goose cross the road? He was playing duck, duck, goose

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Why does blond women give great blowjob? Because they has vaacum in thier heads! Blond woman coment; well thats better than having nothing at all in your head! :-)

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it!!!

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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