It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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Whats Better Than an Anti Joke? sex...

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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1 black guy jumped off a cliff at the same time as a white guy, who fell first? The one who weighed the most.

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

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What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a strip club. They then realised that they are religious leaders and set an example for their respective religious communities and shouldn't be in a strip club and leave.

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why is cancer a big thing because its bad

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Why did the Wife cheat on her Husband? Because she was a f***ing BITCH.

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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Me

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

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What did the Black construction worker say to the Asian salesman? I want some milk.

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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