What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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its all aodhan

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Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side.

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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A black succeeds

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Why did Jimmy cry? His mom raped him.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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what is juicy and smells like juice,but it is not juice? juice. i lied about it not being juice.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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A mailman walks into a bar He delivers a bill for the electricity and leaves.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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