what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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Roses are red, Violets are VIOLET!

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-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Q: What did the student say to the teacher? A: The answer is four.

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How many chinese women can you fit in a car? About the same amount as men.

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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whats long and hard on a black man? his femur.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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