Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

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Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

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Knock knock Get off my porch.

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You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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What is worse than eating shoxy poulet.? Nothing

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

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Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the narcoleptic patient? It wasn't. The patients were treated because of moral obligations, but the doctors that laughed were either fired or warned, depending on if they had previous reports of exploitation of patients.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. That always nice, you dont want your dairy products to spoil.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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Why couldn't the little girl walk? She was raped by a herd of black men, resulting in irreversible damage to her rectum and groin area.

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You heard about that piece of shit that says no all the time? Yes, I bet you haven't though. no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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