A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

What did one duck say to the other duck? Nothing, ducks cannot talk.

BILLY BOB JAM:KNOCK KNOCK!! BOBERT:WHAT!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WOULD I EVEN CARE?!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WONT YOU SHUT UP BILLY BOB JAM ORLANDIO STEAK?!!?!?!GET ME OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what would you like to drink?". The horse, unable to comprehend english, just nods and proceeds to shit on the floor

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

Why Didnt John Return any of his calls he was in a very serious car accident fell into a coma and will probablly will not wake up ever again

Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

Check this web out www.hurr-durr.com

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

Penis.

I HATE EVERYTHING OMG PEOPLE SUCK BOYS SUCK IM TAKING MY RAGE OUT ON THE INTERNET FDJKNDLKXC

My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

Why did the chicken cross the road? the wnba

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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