Lindsay Lohan

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

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A man walks in to a bar, so he got hurt.

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How do you catch a predator? You throw a beartrap at a child.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw it after I chopped its' head off.

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why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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I'm homeless.

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You just won the game...

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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Jesse ziggenfat hates his life. He's really obese. Just like his mom...and his sister...and his brother.....and his dad.... And his dog? Bacon?

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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What do you call 2 Mexicans playing baseball? It depends on what the name of each individual is.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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If you'd turn to page 43 you will find the homework. Have a good weekend!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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