What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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What's worse than finding jokes that repeat on Anti-Joke.com? AIDS

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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Your mom is so nice.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

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Dogs in my home.

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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Potato!

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A frog goes to a lake. he meets a photographer , the frog ask him ( can you take a picture of me? he says: sure ...say cheese.... then the frog said :....yogurt

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An Irishman stays home

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What do old people really like? Sex.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

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why did justin fuck alice and maliyah to have fun

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Why were the Dinosaurs wiped out? Porridge.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I slipped you some roofies You'll be out in a few

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A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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A man gets home from work late at night and his wife is already asleep. Then he remembers that he forgot some important papers and has to drive back to work to get them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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