Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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Where did the farmer take his pigs on Saturday afternoon? the Slaughterhouse

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I walk into a bar...

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

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lets have sex, ok, but itll have to be anal, cuz im a guy xoxox danni

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Whats funnier than a black guy dieing? Everything thats not funny

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Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

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gay rights

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Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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