roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the women out of the kitchen? She felt the desire to relax after a day of work...

thumb_up thumb_down

What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who hacks darts? • Jack Nolan aka Bowlbot 300 J-Bowls

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Certainly not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The New York Giants

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a whore? Kelsey cook duh

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +38

It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops