Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

Why didn't Billy have legs? Because he's a fish.

Q:Whats Brown and sticky? A:Maple Syrup

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the Mortgage company. You haven't payed your loans. The man loses his house and becomes homeless.

What do you call a medical student who finishes last in his class? Doctor.

So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

So this man is walking down the street. Just walking. Nothing wrong. Suddenly a giant whirlpool appears in the street. The man is sucked in and the whirlpool disappears. Everything's fine right? Right? Yeah, he wanted to die. So every things okay? NOPE. He left the oven on.

Oh and Nero, what are you suffering from? Is it dangerous? Are you dying or something? Please dont scare me like that again.

Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Guess what? You just lost the game.

A man climbs up a tree. Once he reaches the top he is scared and thus incapable of getting down.

hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

Two chairs were sitting there. One chair says "Could you pass me that cup?" The other chair says "Oh my God a talking chair!"

How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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