A man with two broken legs walks into a bar.

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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How do you kill a fox? With a gun. How do you kill a deer? With a gun.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

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A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

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A:Knock Knock, B:Who's There? A:Orange, B:Orange Who? A:Orange Banana.

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Communism

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Knock Knock Come in

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

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your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

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There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

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If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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