Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

were at work systems r down

What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

What's the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies is a horrible tragedy.

Rebecca Black

Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

Why did the Asian guy's condom slip? Because the condom was put on the opposite way.

How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

What did the dog say to the mailman? nothing, dogs lack the mental capacity for human speech therefore he was unable to communicate his message verbally

What did the mother do when she found out the baby was stillborn? Gave it a proper burial, grieved for months and became a shell of her former self.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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