Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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Yo mama so fat! Really she should get on an exercise program and watch her diet, as she is at higher risk for diabetes and other health issues

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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b

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Mind magic for fuck ups: Did you know you can train your dog to magically arrive by saying YOUR name! Just tell it what your name is a lot and voila! Moral: made me laugh, fuck the rest of you XD

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why was the man at the tuna fish factory mad? because he was going through intense emotional trauma happening in his life because of problems with his wife and child.

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

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Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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An American, an English and a Scottish got in the bar and ordered the same drink. After that they left.

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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