- Anti Joke

What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

An asian walks out of math class

Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

Who did you see last night? Nobody, no one wants to see you.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

PhilosopherCon: "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

roses are red violets are blue i've got a boner and it raging for you

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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