"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Where was susie after the explosion? Everywhere

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

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Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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Q. How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A. That obviously depends on the size of the bathtub and each individual infant.

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What's worse than having a mouth full of molars? A pole through your chest.

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what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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The horse's name was Friday

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Just because you do not see the joke, it does`t mean its not here... Ps: It helps us get hookers and beers while wasting your "valuable time" OMG PLEASE BE FUCKING UNDERSTANDING OHMYLAWD!!!!!!!!! Ps: Cry harder you greedy sons of shedogs

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? To End His Suffering On The Farm. Suicidal Mission.... Complete

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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i did a 360 noscope, then i jizzed. from dylan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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