How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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toast points

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting thrown into the sun.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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racism...deal with it!

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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Three women are sitting in a bar. One is drinking beer, one is drinking wine and one is drinking vodka. Which one is the widow? The one whose husband is dead.

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Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

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1 black man on the moon = problem 10 black people on the moon = problems Whole black population on the moon = problem solved

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Knock knock Who's there? A ghost A ghost who?

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

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Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? She wanted to get down

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What is the worst place to be in race if you're racing with me Behind me

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"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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