How do you make lady gaga angry? punch her in the face and throw her off a cliff

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Why did the baby cross the road? His parents were drug addicts, and didn't pay him any attention.

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My Nan, that is all.

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Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

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Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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what does gum eat ? gum you idiot!

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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what is a jews favorite holiday? the halocaust.

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Q: what happens when you throw a red rock into a blue lake? A: a splash.

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A man walks into the market. He asks a young attractive employee in a smooth voice, "Do you have any honey here, baby?" The employee responds, "No sir. I'm sorry."

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I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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