Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs? He was shot in the face.

What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

What do u call a bunch of black dudes burried from their necks down? Afro-turf

A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

What is the diffrents between a Mexican and a elevator? one can raise children the other is a mexican!!!!!

A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

Patriarchy.

What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

A horse walks into a bar. He called him Arthur. Those are two sentences.

You know what a thief's kid receive on christmas? Your bike!

Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

What starts with a 'D' and ends with 'ick' Daniel and Jimmy are walking in the park when suddenly they get hit by a stick because a mysterious person threw the stick.

What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

Why is Steven so gay? Because hes actually Richard Simmons

if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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