Top Gear USA

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

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-When is a door not a door? -Never

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A blind man jumped out of the way as a car ran through the red light at a one way street.

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Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

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Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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How do you kill a 6'5 black man in a dark alley? Stab him 3 times in the appendix with a 12 inch blade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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Yo momma so fat She has heart problems

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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why are you reading this? You are bored out of your mind and don't want to do you're homework. and now that you read this, you will realize what you're doing and will now get back to work.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

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OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

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what is the differrence between a boy and girl their oranges

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To be, or not to be. That is not the question. The question is, what time is it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops