What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? No.

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Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for them. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed next to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

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Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

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What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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Ask me if I am a truck. Are you a truck? No.

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what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

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Corn Muffins

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Why did the blonde walk into the men's restroom? Because the blonde was a man who needed to expel his feculent waste.

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An irish man stumbles out of a bar.

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a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

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Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

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When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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What did the rapist say to the woman? "If you tell anyone I'll kill you!"

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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your mamas so fat her weight is 3.14 without the decimal

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the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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