"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

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why was joe in hospital with facial disorder? his mum hit him with a fridge

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? The woman wasnt premature and abused from an early age.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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what's white, got three legs and you wouldn't expect to find in the rainforest? A fridge on a stool

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm gonna screw you and you don't have a clue !

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face pa pa poker face!!!

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JLo made a song about my diick- "On the Floor"

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

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How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

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A black man hailed a taxi cab. He got in, and the taxi drove him to his destination for an appropriate fee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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