Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Dude, you're playing call of duty by yourself and in last place...HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!!??

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This post contains NOTHING.

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what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

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What do you call a mulsim that tattles on you for vandilising muslim propaganda Target Practice

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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What did the frog order at McDonalds? Nothing, it's a frog.

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

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Icecream

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

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Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? She had no Arms or legs Knock knock Whos there? Not Sally XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

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There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Why would you wanna keep an idiot busy, it's not gonna make a difference...

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

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What's your name? You tell me.

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Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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