A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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whats worse than being ugly? being aivy.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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Your Moma so fat, she would roll down a hill.

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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S: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? P: They can chuck wood.

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Shaniqua: Knock knock Random black guy: Who is there? Shaniqua: It's me your girlfriend I had a really nice meeting with my dick Random black guy:What?

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

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Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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A black man,a Hispanic man, and a white man are in a race. The white man wins because he took steroids and used somebody else's urine for the drug test.

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Why doesn't the South Pole war veteran remember the name of his child? He is a penguin and could care less about naming his children. Why doesn't the penguin on the North Pole remember the name of his child? There are no penguins on the North Pole.

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why do woman travel in packs? because men don't travel like the sisterhood in the traveling pants

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How do you make a momma bird not fly back to its nest? Burn it down!!

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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