A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

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Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

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Ask Me If I'm A Piece of Bread Are You a Piec--- Nope

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What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

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What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

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Three Black men smash windows to enter a house. They're firemen and are rescuing a young child...

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Why was the little boy screaming? He was going down a steep drop on a roller coaster.

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Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

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Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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