I ate a pancake for breakfast not

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What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Warning: Legit Joke Below What is the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? Only one can raise a child.

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

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Why couldn't the black guy vote? He was only 17.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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women's rights.

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When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

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Hail Hitler

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What did the rat say to the snake when it ate it. Nothing for the rat is a rat and there for can not communicate through talk to the snake nor could it survive as the snake's digestive system disintegrated it in a matter of minutes.

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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