Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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a guy gets knocked out and wakes up in a alley all bloody and a knife next to him!!!

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

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what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

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Hey dude, wanna come with me!!!! Sure, where? ON YOUR FACE!!!!!! -_- ........ok sure why not

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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The FCC

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

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What did the kid with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? A: Polio.

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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