Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Explain the term 'Standard of Living'? Not having sex with diseased and obese women.

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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What happens when you shoot Chuck Norris? You go to jail.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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whats red, white, and blue? idk go ask the president

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Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

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Why was the 2-year-old girl found dead in the swamp? Her mom was Casey Anthony.

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

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Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third seeing the protruding bar goes home to find his entire family dead from anthrax.

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You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

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A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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