How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Graphed: hey kids it's time to grape ya in the mouth Girl: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Random guy who sponsors the comercial: why is she screaming isn't thus about our new grape drink? Grapist: well… yes but look at the wY she's dresses she totally wants it.

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2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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What Did The Boy With No Arms Or Legs Get For Christmas? Cancer.

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How do you jump off a bridge? You jump

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1st guy:i like anti jokes. 2nd guy:me too, they make me laugh.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

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Rebecca Black

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

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Why does annie put 2 balls together? bacuse its makes a BUTT! oo

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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guess what? bannanas

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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Buy one packet of condoms for the price of two packets of condoms, and you will be given a second packet of condoms ABSOLUTLEY FREE!

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what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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