Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

Michael Jackson and Barack Obama talked to each other about oreos

Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

You: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries? Person: A towel?! You: No, an aquaphilian woman drying off a car ;)

A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

what is worse than a guy pissed?

Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

What's the difference between a red door and a blue door? Fat black people.

Jonny runs with scissors. He gets hit by a bus.

i was molested.

I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

I've got a dig bick

What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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