What's fast and white ? A chicken after you hit it going 100mph

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What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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who is not good looking? mon morello

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whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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