What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have difficulty understanding each other.

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

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Why are fat people fat? Because they like food.

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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Why did susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms... Why didn't she get up? She didn't have any legs... Why didn't anyone help her? She didn't have any friends. Then she died

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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What did the black man say to his wife? Nothing, she had died earlier that year after a long battle with cancer.

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What happens if George Washington is still alive? World population increases by 1

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

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Knock Knock! EXPLOSION!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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