How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo Boo who? It's just a joke you don't have to cry about it

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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Little Billy rested his head on the pile of bricks. It had been a hard day for Little Billy, but, in less than an hour, he would finally see his worm again.

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Knock knock, Who's there? To get to the other side

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Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

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What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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