How do you get a horse to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

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Whats the difference between a cow and a sheep a cow goes baa and a sheep goes moo

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Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

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Q: why id the bird fly away from the boy? A: cuz he was scared

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I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

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Why did Harry Potter cast a spell on Chuck Norris' penis? Never mind.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots, "Long day?", the bartender asks. "Yeah", the man replies, then he goes home and hangs himself

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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Yo mama is so stupid that her IQ is relatively lower than the average.

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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A man accidentally forgets his daughter at a Sizzler

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Granny porn!

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You and your parents are going to die today

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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what happens when y tell ur deff brother uve been sleeping with his wife..nothing

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

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Knock Knock Who's there? ... No one, you have Schizophrenia

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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What do you put in a toaster? Bread, or sometimes a small penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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