why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

Why did the little girl not speak? It was Anne Frank

2 brothers were arguing, both had anger problems to the point where one started war with the other. Boy1: I HATE YOU Boy2: MOM HATES YOU Boy1: ....Wait why? Boy2: YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT SHE TRIED TO SELL YOU TO A MEXICAN AND HE SAID THAT THING WAY TOO DAM UGLEH ITD BURN THE FACES OFF MY COWS.

Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE?!?

How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice.

why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? The one from the farm across the street. Can Randy come play outside?

What's the difference between your mother and a prostitute? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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