How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A train conducter conducts at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph, if he goes under 2 bridges and over 3 hills what did the conductors mother have for dinner that night. Nothing she was raped then promptly murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why do fat people eat so much? who cares

thumb_up thumb_down -5

there was a black guy and white guy, they were walking down a street to da bus stop, the bus comes by and says where yall goin and they say 21st avenue street; so they walk away and the black guy says(in a black voice): "wait buses dont talk!"

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? I want to eat you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Dani barton= lovely

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? D-12.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

the WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with men other than her husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

-Can I ask you one question? -Yes. -Thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in a zoo don't be mad I'll be there too not in a cage but laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops