.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Your mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror it displays her reflection like all mirrors do

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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding! Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a hemophiliac? A bleeding ass!

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why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

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Why did the girl ask for anal? She didn't. She was raped.

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Q: Whats blue and fluffy A: Blue fluff Q: Whats brown and fluffy . A: The bear that killed my parents.

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A Jewish man walks by a penny.

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

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A girl that had Malaria couldn't play with her friends, whys this? She died.

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Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

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Cheese stick

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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