What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Daniel Textor can suck a gooch he's such a F - A - GGGGG!! Let's beat him up at lunch.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, although depending on how high the light in question is and where it's located she may need someone to help hold a ladder for her, if it's particularly unsteady.

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Why did the little boy drop his Ice cream? He had no arms(:

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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Women's sports.

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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whatdumb and gay stewart price

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Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come out with your hands up.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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Santa Clogged my toliet

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What do you call 55,000 clowns exiting a small car? Fiction.

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Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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