What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

oh hiya come in

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why was the boy sad? because.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Phew... it's gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,637

What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Balboa. Watch as Apollo Creed`s nephews son is trained by Rocky Balboa`s grandson`s neighbor to participate in the new highschool musical will they win this years golden plate? Spoiler: No they did well but lost to Clubber Lang`s and Ivan Drago`s gay sons adopted lovechild`s ballet number. But people kept cheering "BALBOA BALBOA BALBOA!" As Rocky Balboa`s grandson kept yelling "ADRIAAN, ADRIAAAAAAN!" while a picture of Rocky`s grandchild is shown in the background together with the American flag. Moral: This script may or might not have been made for a quick cash in, anyway, its coming out the next radioactive winter 2705.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why don't Black people Dream? Because the last one that did got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

thumb_up thumb_down -15

yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man buys a prius

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Batman vs Superman the movie spoilers: Batman and Superman argue over how to handle some alien invaders, Batman wants to kill em, Superman believes he can save em. In the end they work together and save everybody. Moral: I hope they change the script, ever noticed how every hero vs hero themed movie/cartoon, ends up with them allying at the end? If ya do not believe me, just wait for the movie to come out.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops