Roses are white, tulips are white, wait whos been masturbating in my garden!

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Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

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Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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YOLO.

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What's funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said, who's there? KNOCK KNOCK OH MY GOD, WHO IS IT??? Yes, we have your daughter here, she was caught doing drugs on school property.

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What's worse than eating an apple with aids? Loosing your virginity to the seven chosen ones.

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Why did the baby start crying? Its mom slapped it in the face, causing permanent brain damage that would haunt it throughout its life.

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whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

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What is faster than a black guy stealing a TV? His brother with a DVR

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A grandmother in her late seventies is walking to the grocery store. Then out of nowhere,she stats getting pelted by bananas. One hits her hard on the head,and she dies.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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whats red and spikey? an apple i lied about the spikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

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What happened when a 16 year old guy went over to his friends party? found out he wasn't friends with anyone there, got kicked out and committed suicide.

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Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

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Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

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How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

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What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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So a black and mexican go to the foodstore to get foodstamps.the end

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Comedy.

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ROSES ARE RED WATCHES ARE GOLD GET ON YOUR KNEES AND DO WHAT YOUR TOLD

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What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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