Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

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So, how 'bout that airline food?

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you came 'cause GameGrumps Fuck you.

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...this makes a cop throw a car and then call "inception!"

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

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Roses are red Violets are blue Violets are actually purple or white

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

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A man walks into a bar with a sad-looking face. He orders a strong drink. The bartender asks him "What's wrong? You seem down." The man answers "Well, tough week. My wife was raped and murdered and my son was hit by a bus."

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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What's the point of going to college? There is none.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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Wanna hear a joke......... your moms face !!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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