Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue U suck Dick Just Like Ur Dad did to u

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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Where does Hemech take a shit? The toilet's ass

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

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Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

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Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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what did the man say to his horse? sex. -teagan doherty

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What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

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What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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