man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mother is so fat that when she went to the doctor he recommend she lose weight or risk high blood pressure and heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

thumb_up thumb_down +15

My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

thumb_up thumb_down -98

How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why is a blonde a door knob... Because everybody gets a turn

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

why couldnt the gay man marry??? cause he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +36

An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why is cancer a big thing because its bad

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops