If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

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I lost my tractor.

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What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

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Stop being a centipede

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Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

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What is more worse than death? Death

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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Q: A boy went to 7-11 and bought Coke instead of 7up. Why? A: I don't know

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

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Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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Your mom is so old, I am surprised she can still own a house and function on her own.

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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