You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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Roses are red Violets are blue You touch yourself. I do, too.

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

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What's worse than a dead man?  2 dead men

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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What's worse than tieing a baby to a moving fan? Stopping it with a shovel

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yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

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What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

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Sharvil has aids 4 times

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wanna hear a joke? asians with t i t s

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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What did the police officer say to the black man? "I am a police officer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops