A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

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theres this guy that i REALLY like but today he was putting something in my locker, it was gumbie the little green bendy thing but i didnt want it to be in my locker so i slammed my locker, except the only thing was that his pinky was in the way!!!! oh gosh i felt soooooo bad!!!! turns out he went to the hostpital and got stitches!!!!!!! that made it worse on me!!!!!! he said he was finee but i still cant let that go!!!!!

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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What's up? Well it all depends on your current position, if you are in the center of the Earth then everything would be up. In space there is no gravity so nothing is up. If you don't understand this the sky is up.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a beanch can support a family

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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homosexual rights to marriage

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

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what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to change a lightbulb? Why should his legal status matter at all in this situation?

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Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

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Why can't a dinosaur clap its hands? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Why did Coolio appear in the joke below? He did not, he was not for real at this particular situation... Well It was actually a typo because some douchebag told me Coolio sang that song and I forgot to change the name after finding the truth... Moral: YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

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What's more fun than nailing babies to a wall? Ripping them off again.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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