George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage?

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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Geeks have girlfriends...................... . . . I MEAN alien friends (geeks are losers and you decide your a geek or not)

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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Why was the boy laughing? Because

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a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Are you one of those gay rapists that flame around telling people no all the time?

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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What is the difference between a black man and a sofa? A black man is a human being with feelings, while a sofa is an inanimate object that people sit on in order to enjoy comfort and possibly watch television.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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