Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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Where is Tampa Bay, Florida?

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

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Knock, knock. Who's There? The Fire Department...

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There once was a woman from Ealing, Who had a peculiar feeling She went to the doctors and was consequently diagnosed with Chlamydia

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Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

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y u no like me joke?

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Q: What do you call a Deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q; What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no ideer.

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Boys have swag, real men have class

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? Doctor Brown, I have your test results, you've HIV positive.

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops