what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An irish man walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A homeless man comes home from work.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

tim tebow and mark sanchez will lead the jets to the superbowl

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops