A tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it... Fall on top of a woman and crush her to death

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man walks into a bar. Then he yelled and held his head in pain. :) www.youtube.com/c/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the man say to the homeless child. Where's you parents?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde a red head and burrnett was on a island, heres there diolouge. Red:lets have a breast stroke race. bothe burnett and blonde:ok. The red head gets to the next island 1st and waits 2hrs,then the burnett comes up. Red:what took u so long? Burnett:i got hit by some waves.. they both wait weeks and weeks. the blonde comes . red and burnett: what took u long? Blonde:umm.... YOU GUYS CHEATED!! YOU USED UR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops