if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

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non poop

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Proof reading

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A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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A fat guy eats a twinkie.

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What do you get when you cross a man with a horse? The Nobel Prize for your advancement of genetic sciences; centaurs aren’t real.

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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the real mccoy

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Fat people.

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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a person who will soon die of beeties

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MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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you

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A seal walks into a club.

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvatore Dali mistook them for clocks.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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