Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

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umm idk what joke to write down so yea and so rate this a thumbs up! okay bc this is an awesome joke...right right right yea ik!

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anti jokes are gay...your all gay

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Dylan is gay

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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this joke is funny so dont read the rest even though there is no rest

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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Knock Knock Whos there Me Oh, come in

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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