What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

thumb_up thumb_down +18

3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats the difference between a frog?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock, Knock. Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

thumb_up thumb_down

What did little Timmy get his grandmother for Christmas? A coffin

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two condoms walk into a gay bar. The people in the bar are perplexed that two inanimate objects are capable of locomotion.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I forgot what i was gonna say

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the easiest way to become filthy rich? There are many ways to earn money. Invest some time into researching the topic.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops