Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

thumb_up thumb_down

So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q.What do Santa Clause and a grape have in common? A.They both have beards. Except for the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down

We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops