Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Evolutionarily destined to be eaten by a predator such as a wolf or coyote, barring haing a defense mechanism that allows it to fend off such attacks.

Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

What did the big traffic light say to the little traffic light? It didnt it's a traffic light.

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks have herbivorous diet mainly consisting of wild grasses, berries, as well as agricultural crops when they are available.

What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

there is 500 dicks on the wall how many will choke on? None?? so ur a professional!!!! lol

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

my penis

why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

Ass

to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

A guy trips a blind man.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

Fire extinguishers are sexy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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