A man walked into a bar Ouch.

Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

why did matt die? He had cancer

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie...

What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

what is racecar backwards in reverse

Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

Why didn't the boy have any pockets on? He didn't have any pants on

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

-Knock Knock -Come in!

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

i died. new product by steve jobs

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...