Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: Women's rights.

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

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I am a mime

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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Henry: Say the word "really". Moe: Really. Henry: Now say the word "really" with sarcasm. Moe: Really? Henry: More sarcasm! I want you to be very sarcastic! Moe: Oh really??? Henry: There ya go!

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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An irish man walks out of a bar

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender says ouch.

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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