how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Nice story but I wish it would have had a good point like... A moral? Moral: Need a light?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

thumb_up thumb_down

69

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red Violets are blue S*** is brown and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's up? Your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A: B: No pun intended.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black man climbing a mountain. A mountain climber.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A racist man walks into an all black church. He has no problem with the people there as he is a black man who hates caucasion people.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops