How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

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A: I slept in your mums bed last night. B: don't care dad

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

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Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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Hello.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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Cancer.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops