there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

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A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

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Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Michael Jackson and Barack Obama talked to each other about oreos

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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You: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries? Person: A towel?! You: No, an aquaphilian woman drying off a car ;)

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A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

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what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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what is worse than a guy pissed?

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

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What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

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Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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