Steve Jobs.

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HOLY SHIT!!!!

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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what did the short man say to the shoe? i sincerely hope that someone wouldn't try to carry a conversation with an inannnimate object, or else he is socially disturbed

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Some home health supplies. He really needed them, too.

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how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

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A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

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How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

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2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

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Why did the young boy lose a testicle? Because he was viciously raped by a large parrot

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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