why did justin fuck alice and maliyah to have fun

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Why were the Dinosaurs wiped out? Porridge.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I slipped you some roofies You'll be out in a few

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A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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A man gets home from work late at night and his wife is already asleep. Then he remembers that he forgot some important papers and has to drive back to work to get them.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

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why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

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your face

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What's black, white, and red all over??? A penguin in a blender.

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How do you know your sister is on her period? - Your dad´s dick tastes like blood.

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

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On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

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what hurts more than a stab wound? two stab wounds

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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a man checks his mypsace

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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