Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

Chuck Norris goes to the mars to fight the marshuns he then die's soon after because there is lack of oxegen on mars and theres no marshuns.

Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

God is real

whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

Nice belt.

Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

This is Heading 1

Roses are red Violets are blue Vodka is less Than dinner for two

What did the unappreciated YTPer say in the comment section of Nyan Cat? "PLEASE CHECK OUT MY YTP'S! I'M BEGGING YOU! YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!! WHY?!!! Q_Q"

At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.