Why is 6 scared of 7? Because last year, when 6 was going to the gas station, 7 approached him and said "gimme all your money or else I'll shoot you". 6 was so scared he ran away crying. About a few days later 6 spots 7 again and this time he was with 9. He said "yo 6! If you don't give me your money, im gonna do this to you!" and then 7 started biting and chewing 9 as if he was some kind of cannibal. 6 ran away and called the police. He told him that 7 ate 9.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are Red Violets are dog I'm Senile Flower tastes like frog.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

thumb_up thumb_down -39

That was slightly painful. I would appreciate it if you would stop such actions in the future

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the dog kill the fish? He had no reason, he just wanted fish. What, you thought he had like, a vendetta? pssh your crazy

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? Getting shot in the gut What's worse than that? Getting raped in the hole made by the bullet

thumb_up thumb_down -20

moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

thumb_up thumb_down

so a square said to another square,your rather obtuse oh wait squares cant talk,whats going on. later that day,chuckles realizes he isnt funny -chuckles

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

thumb_up thumb_down +8

if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What rhymes with car? Not kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops