I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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How do you make a businessman cry? Shoot him in the kneecaps.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Kevin. Which? Kevin Smith or Kevin Johnson? Kevin Johnson. Oh ok, come in please.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

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all hail based mark

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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"Hey baby, how much?" "$2.99 each or 2 for $5.00, Steve." "Thanks Baby, I'll take 2."

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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This is a joke for Homeless people:

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

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Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house KNOCK KNOCK who's there? da chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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