Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

Sharvil has aids 4 times

wanna hear a joke? asians with t i t s

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

What did the police officer say to the black man? "I am a police officer."

Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

The Braves win the N.L. east

Q:how many anti jokes does it take to make a person lough A:1

When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

Yo mama so fat! Really she should get on an exercise program and watch her diet, as she is at higher risk for diabetes and other health issues

What's the difference between shoes and a ginger? Shoes do the kicking.

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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