What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

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What did the Homosexual say to the Southern American? I'm A Homosexual. What did the Southern American say back? I Respect That.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

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A man walked into doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? -Dog shit.

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A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Why is siracha taste so good on chicken? Because it compliments the meat.

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Joay impistato is a fig

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Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

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Whats the difference between a brick and a Jew? One you throw it at the postmans head, the other is just a brick

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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800000000000000000?0?00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000?0000 I hate you

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One time I walked into a fat kid..

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What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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If there are 50 oranges and 50 waffles tied to a fence post. How many cow utters does it take to shit green? urine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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