Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the baker turn off the oven? He had run out of business

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Koalas mum is a slut

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats a porn stars favorite number? 69...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call two black men kicking a ball? Soccer.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the same between a white guy and a black guy? They are both white except for the black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

thumb_up thumb_down +164

It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

thumb_up thumb_down -21

9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops