Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? Because 6 accused him of cannibalism

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Q: What's funnier than Women's Rights? A: Nothing.

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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What's the difference between and Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout returned from camp.

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Crowded elevator smell different to midget-Confucius say.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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Knock, knock ... ... No one answers the door because knocks produce a quieter sound than a doorbell and the residents of the house are upstairs watching a movie.

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An Englishman walks into a bar.

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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Knock knock! Ding dong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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