Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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Roses are red, Bacon is also red. Poems are hard, Bacon.

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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Why did the man fart? He didn't. Stop being so dirty-minded.

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What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

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whats brown and smells like shit shit

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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Video Games

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops