A retarded man walks into a bar and everyone was polite about his disability.

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I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

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What do you call a baby who was raped and murdered? Funny

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Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: According to the Oxford English Dictionary (second edition), it is "Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism."

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Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

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Why did little Timmy get absolutely nothing for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me,.WUMBO!

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whats funny about the klu klux klan? nothing is funny at all about it because they cause pain and suffering to afircan amaricans and other ethnic groups.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Q. The farmer said where's my bucket A. Somewhere

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A penguin in a blender.

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what do you get when you cross a pig with a bunny? Nothing.Crossing a pig with a bunny is impossible.

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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Two Jewish Rabbis are sitting in a sandbox....

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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