One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw food on the other side the the farmer was going to chop his head off.

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A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead walk into a bar. There is also a woman with black hair standing outside, and the man next to her is bald.

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A knock knock B who's there A your newborn give me your money or I will hang all your kids

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101 ways to annoy people 1.) lying about having a 101 ways to annoy people

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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How do you get 100 people in one car. You can't.

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roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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Q: What did the police officer do when he saw another man getting assaulted. A: Went into a corner and started fapping to it.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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240

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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hohifooncuiohicvsdhn ioshd

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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