OBAMA

thumb_up thumb_down -15

i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you tell a 500 lb. Sumo wrestler who's eating your food? Stop eating my food.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call Batman and Robin after they have been run over by a car? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

outside your comfort zone

thumb_up thumb_down +2

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what's worse than a joke about the holocaust? the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

so little jonny was doing bad in school like always so he decided to drop out and now he cant get a job and will have a terrible life and die alone

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Billy Cundiff.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops