mitt romney

You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He had a stroke.

how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

How did the man die? He was killed alive.

Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

why does'nt mexico have an olympic team? because they have a poor economy and have other things to worry about.

What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head walk into a bar They are friends from school and have not seen each other in 15 years; they are hoping to have a good night out

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

How did the mecanic die? He drowned

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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