Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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Q: Whats funnier than Ryan Vallee? A: The death of your family -RDV

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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What did the abortion say to the womb? I'm outta here.

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The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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XD A COZY FIGHT XD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I am gonna kick your ass, break your face and then give you a kiss on the cheek as your mangled corpse bleeds out... XD :)) THANKS FOR THE LAUGHTER XD XD Reminds me of a former comment where you describe the local weather, you know, we do not live that far away from each other, hell it was actually the time, we are completely in the same timezone, so anyway, do you also get cartoon network on your television?

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

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Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

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You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

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What do you call a sheep? something to have sex with.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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So a blonde was trying to peel a banana, but she couldn't because she was viciously attacked by chimpanzees and had all her fingers bitten off

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

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little travis puts hedgehogs in his poop chute

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You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

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Q. What is a brown cow called? A. A cow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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