why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the child cross the road? Nobody knows, he forgot to look both ways got hit by a truck and suffered severe head trauma leading memorie loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

thumb_up thumb_down -37

There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

four little monkeys jumping on the bed... one fell of and bumped his head... mama called the doctor and the doctor said... im calling child protection services.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

My friends told me they found a dead women....they said they pissed on her........that was my mom

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the Catholic Priest say to the young boy? God bless you.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Billy drop his lunchbox? Because he was mauled by a Hippo.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do women why perfume and make up? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops