Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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GONNA

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a beer and then goes home.

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

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Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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What's an Anti Joke?

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How many Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Their domestic handiness was not impeded by their warped sense of entitlement and racial superiority.

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What's worse than a spray tan? - A spray tan of hydrochloric acid.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

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Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

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What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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