How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

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I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream?? He got hit by a truck.

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Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

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the game

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Why do flamingos hold up one leg?f If they held up two they'd fall down.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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Why was the blonde in the library? Because she was committed to her studies and was getting ready for a test.

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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Q. want to hear the biggest lie in the world ? A. sure A.I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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