Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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Why were the black man's balls so big He had testicular cancer

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the boy with one arm have no friends? He was a cereal killer from Ireland.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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What ruined the little boy's day? He drowned.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

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Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

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What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

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I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

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A man walks into a bar. He has had a tough day at work and unwinds with a beer. He goes home to his loving family. He makes love to his wife that night. It's good but not great.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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