A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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two muffins were in an oven, one muffin said to the other, " ohmygod! its so hot in here!" the other muffin said,"AHHHHHH!!!! its a talking muffin!!"

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The awkward moment when you don't know whether to like or dislike this because you think I want like so you are gonna dislike but what If I want dislikes, but what if I want likes, you are confused Antijokeception....

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Why did the chicken cross the road? WHO CARES!!

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Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

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i like potatoes

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Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

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Yo momma's so fat, she's broke 'cause she spent too much money on food.

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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