Your mom is so old she is significantly more identifiable in a crowd of middle-aged men and women.

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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Roses are red violets are blue Timmy what are doing with that gun?! Bang....

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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PSP its a nut you can play... Outside...

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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haha, you're an orphan

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Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? Vegeta got rid of the scouter because a monocle built for displaying a person's physical abilities in numbers is extremely farfetched and he didn't want to be a part of a super race of supreme beings that still relied on such ridiculous antics

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

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why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

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Child Prostitution.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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