Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock? who's there? not sally.

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What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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What did the dead person say? Nothing, dead people cant talk, coz they are dead

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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Why didn't the monkey cross the road? He saw the chicken get run over.

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Do u liek mudkipz GO TROLLING

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

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THIS IS an anti-joke.

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How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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what did the Alaskan homeless man get for Christmas? Death

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What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

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Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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