Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

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How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

Three men are facing a firing squad. They are all promptly executed. Even if they were to escape by distracting the executioners, they would no doubt be shot down before they could get for.

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

Your Mommas so scary slender is afraid of her -_-

Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

A Chinese man walks into a bar. With his thick accent, he finds it difficult to order drinks.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

What's worse than eating a rotton fruit that makes you sick?? Getting raped by a giant jackalope and then being left for dead in the middle of nowhere and being found by an old pedophile whose van ran out of gas and then running away only to find some water but while you were drinking it you got grabbed and dragged under the water by an octopus who has wandered off many miles from its home and then dying because humans don't have gills

What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

Do You Know You Have Cancer?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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