Knock Knock! Well come on in!

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A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

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Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the dog eat poop?

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When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Diarrhea

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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why was the carrot sad? it was stuck in an antelopes anus

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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