just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Want to know a joke? There is no joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why wasn't the black kid allowed in the school? Because it was the Southern United States in the 1930s and due to racial tensions at the time most public facilities were seperated by race.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

6

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock Who's There Me

thumb_up thumb_down -29

In Soviet Russia, table flip you! ???? ? /(. - . \?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Man U

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You're Adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops