Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down +9

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

thumb_up thumb_down +4

OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's The Difference Between A Refridgerator And The Holocaust ? Not Much.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats brown and sticky? ..Poo

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Boy Walks Up To A Frog At the Bus Stop And Says, “Why Are You So Upset?” And The Frog Replied, “I’m Waiting For The Bus Because My Car Just Got TOAD!”

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Pinus Testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Have you heard that Hitler and Osama Bin Laden share a room with saton in hell

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops