A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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What happens when you mix breed a cat and a human?? .. you get arrested and get raped by your fellow prisoners DONT do it!

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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wanna hear a good joke? neither do I

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what do you do if you see an asian trip on a step? help him/her up and ask if their alright.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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A jew, an Arab, and A Scientist walk into a bar. The arab self explodes and kills them all

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

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ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

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Q: Whats worse than finding 10 babies in a trash can? A: Finding 1 baby in 10 trash cans!

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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Why didn't the teacher ask where Billy's assignment was? Because Billy died last week. -B

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guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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