Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

What do you call a black man that robs a bank? A bank robber

What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

go F*** yourself

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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