What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

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What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

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Two gay men walk down the street holding hands, and are applauded for expressing their love for each other.

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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The joke below is absolute shit.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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Japan called... They need help.

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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