What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

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A girl's opinion is respected.

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The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

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Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

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What do you call two gay black men? Homosexuals.

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This isn't a joke, but I'm going to ruin the fun of this site by clicking the thumbs up until I one day get onto the first page.

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math test 2=2

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

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A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

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killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

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There's a bunch of people standing around a retard...why is no one laughing? Its his funeral

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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Pff, "Axel", you are a fucking amateur, I can convey your fucking message in two lines, and one and a half of those lines would be fucking swearing and insults. I am done with the fucking underground society, it used to be a great place for people to discuss real world matters rather than be blinded by the fucking lies of the media, and yes religion, if you ever worked for me, you know that the fucking bible is a textbook example of every goddamn brain washing technique there is. But if you where ever my allumni, id expect you to use those methods sparringly and only when neccesary. No wonder people consider you a fucking cultist, you use your fucking methods as smoke and mirrors rather than letting "your people" know, and teach them that you just use a bunch of verbal tricks. Mental-ism is not magic, and neither should it be implied to be part of the surreal, while I respect your ideology, you have misused it to acquire power and wealth from those you claim to protect, and while you do convey some good ideals, you are far too arrogant and ignorant for the role you have given yourself. Besides, even if you could protect "your people" as you claim you can, who the fuck is supposed to protect the rest from them?! That is some hard core methods you are abusing "Axel", and you know it, if you claim to be anti religion, then stop using the very same methods they do without teaching people how the methods work first! Moral: Never underestimate me, I enjoy behaving like a jackass, but it does not mean that I am one, as for you, you are a jackass which likes behaving like someone worthy of respect. I am still at the fucking hospital, so if you want some guidelines, speak here, and if you cant send me your contact information so we can chat on a proper phone, I will only have to assume that you are either a coward for not revealing your location to an obviously superior man ...Or... ...that... ...you... Are a fucking coward little bitch that simply keeps on hiding behind the people he claims to protect and shield! Start by admitting that I am far beyond your puny knowledge, and I might throw in a few lines of assistance. Moral 2: You are fucking using horse head network as we speak! I use it for bullshit and "iron manning", you shame the remains of the underground society for using it as means of "encoded messages" and at all!

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What do you call a woman with a black eye and several cuts on her face? The police and perhaps a social help hotline. She now feels safer and more secure and will go on to lead a happy life thanks to you speaking out on her behalf.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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