What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If this becomes top-viewed I will post more milk related jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

. . I am a whale

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops