A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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What did the cheerleader get on Holloween? Raped.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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Racist Math Ahmed is on a train from D.C to New York the train is traveling at 125 mph. the distance between New York and D.C is 250 miles. How many will die in the blast.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

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The word "Walter" is never funny.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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knock knock how there me ok come in

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven was a registered sex offender.

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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