Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

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What has two legs and two arms? A Human

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

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I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

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Why was i said when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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Hey Jim? What? Pass the stapler.

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yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

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What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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Roses are red violets are blue this is an anti joke so like this

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Do you know why I'm bored???? No why are you bored Because I am

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How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a type of small aquatic craft, and the other is a human being who practices Judaism.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were belongs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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