A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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how do you make a plumber cry A: kill his family

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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yeah..

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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Why was the little Latino boy sad? Because his father sexually molested him earlier in the evening.

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

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Two corpses weigh in the wind. One is called Jones.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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