Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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Women's rights

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What is an anti-joke? This is.

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Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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Hitler: I said PASS THE JUICE! not GAS THE JEWS!

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69

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Why did the little girl fall of the cliff? Someone pushed her

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? She wanted to get down

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A man walks to a bar. The door was locked and had a closed sign so he walks away and goes home.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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A doctor is delivering a baby on April fool's day. He says, "Congradulations, it's a boy." He then says,"April fools! Your child was stillborn."

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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