Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away her Gameboy.

it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

How do you get a nun pregnant? Artificial insemination.

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

Republicans

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

Whats The Meaning Of Life? 42. But everyone has their own perception so you have your own answer so why the heck did i write this joke. Oh wait Im writing still. The answer is 42.

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...