I love you You love me We all grab 2X4's Barney's on the floor No more purple dinosaur.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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This is not a joke

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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Why didn't JFK Jr. shower before the plane flight? He was in a hurry.

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You wanna hear a joke? Me too

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The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? - 2 Whats worse than 2 bee stings? - Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? - 3 bee stings Now, if you are smart, you would notice that no one really alive today was in the Holocaust, therefore you can not make an accurate comparison between bee stings and the millions of Jews being killed. -SPG

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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