What did the librarian say to the three black men in the library? Nothing. Those three men were Harvard graduates and were very respective of libraries, and thier policies.

Q:What is harder than nailing ten dead babies to a tree? A:Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

what did the girl who's father was murdered do at her wedding? not have a father daughter dance.

- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

Win and Beau have no friends

What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

Boner

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

I agree Nero, we agree there, but let me ask you, why did you have the deep desire to create such a society before? You managed to do so as a teen, you wanted to help others, you put them before yourself, you where far more loyal to them, than they ever where to you. What motivated you then to sacrifice so much, where is that strength today?

Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

penis in the camel

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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