A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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Person 1: Why don't you want to date me? Person 2: Because you are ugly Person 1: Why am I ugly? Person 2: Because you have bad features. Person 1: Why do i have bad features? Person 2: It's your genetics. Person 1: Why is it my genetics Person 2: Cuz that's the way god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: Because god's god made you Person 1: Why Person 2: Because the god of god of god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: That's the way the god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of (GOES ON FOREVER!!!) made you.

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Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

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why did the chicken cross the road.

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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A man comes home to find his wife in bed with another man. He then joins them.

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Whats plastic and little boys turn it on? A game cube, and Michael Jackson. Well maybe not anymore since hes dead...

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

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How do you make a little boy cry? You rape his dog

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a beanch can support a family

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no

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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One day, a woman was walking down an alleyway at midnight She reached the end of the alley and realised that it was a dead end, as there was a brick wall, so she turned around and headed on back home.

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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