Yo mama is so fat she needs to wear extra large.

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

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Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

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knock knock who's th...AIDS.....

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A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

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what did the paraplegic man get for Christmas? a unicycle

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock knock Who's there My dick

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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A young baby died.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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Why? Because.

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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what do u call a black person a black person dehh

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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