What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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Knock Knock.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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What did the doctor say to the Jew? You have cancer.

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what do you call a person who rides a bike a lot? BATMAN!!! -s.s

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Boobs are nasty!

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feces

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Why are Asians such bad drivers? They're not: it is a racist stereotype that is propagated by people who are so insecure that they must put others down to feel good about themselves.

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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