Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

A blind man walks into a bar. But he wasn't hurt badly and continued on his way.

Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

Bob: Say this word that I spell out. Jane: Ok Bob: N.I.N.A. Jane: Um...Nina? Bob: Correct. Now try N.I.N.O. Jane: Nino like el nino Bob: Good. How about N.I.N.E. Jane: Ninny? Bob: Hahaha wrong

Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

Why was the baby crying? He saw a black guy

A woman walks out of the kitchen.

Why did spongebob eat Patrick Because he was hungry

Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...