Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

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What do you call an Arab on an airplane? A passenger.

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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I suck at online but have a high gamerscore

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What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

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How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

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whats worse than a dead cat in your apple? a dead baby in your apple.

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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penis haha

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

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Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

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What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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