look at your sister now look at me now look at your sister now look at me you probably have now realized that you cant see me.

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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What is the difference between a duck. One of its legs are both the same.

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Hello, I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I would like to talk to you about religion for a few minutes. B: Thank you, but I'm not interested. A: OK, thank you for your time, sir. B: You're quite welcome. Good day. A: Have a nice afternoon. B: You too. Bye A: Ba-bye.

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

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Society.

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Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

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what do you call a monkey? a monkey

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What's red and creeps up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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Banana

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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