I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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how do you get all the people in ireland out of their homes? roll a potato down the road. how do you find the richest person in ireland? you find the one who got the patato

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

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What do you call a Mexican kicking a ball? A soccer player

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Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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What's worse than an hours detention? Gettind raped by a horse anally.

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Why was little Jimmy so sad? Because he was H.I.V. positive

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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Why did Wiggy fall into the toilet? Wiggy was the name of his turd.

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What's the difference between a cheeseburger and a dead baby............I don't j!zz on the cheeseburger before I eat it.

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how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

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You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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who dosent like to wear shirts and is not straight Petko Manchev

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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what do you call a shoe with legs? roadrunners.

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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