How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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Ok so, we have bread , tofu, coolwhip

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*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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Go away nothing to see here,. I said go away

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out of your comfort zone

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Papa Smurf: Why did the chicken cross the road? Grouchy Smurf: I hate chickens!

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Q: What sucks? A: Straws

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What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

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roses are red grass is green your little ugly a*s makes me wanna scream

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why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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salad days!

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Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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