- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than being a jew? Having all of your friends viciously murdered at a party that you weren't invited to.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock Get off my porch.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

thumb_up thumb_down -39

If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did the man die? He was killed alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

69

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -132

What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops