You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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knock knock Come in!!!

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

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a car drives off a cliff whos driving? an asin woman!

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Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

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What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

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An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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