What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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Yo mamas so fat,you know wht, i think she might die !!

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

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What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

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What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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Whats sad about a city bus full of black people exploding. NOTHING

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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What do you call a black man with a hoe? A farmer.

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Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

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what do you call a guy that looks exactly like Mario. Frank because thats his name.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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