Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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bish bash bosh giz a nosh

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Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Why did suzy drop her popsicle? She was trampled by a homosexual moose.

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What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

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What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He was brutally raped and killed, Inglewood is really not a place you want your children growing up.

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

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A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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