What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

thumb_up thumb_down

One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why cant Helen Keller drive? ......because women cant drive(:

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -6

In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are black, Violets are black, and I'm blind .

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

24

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops