Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the black man go to the gym? Because he was severely fat and would live a short life if he didn't lose weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Boys have swag, real men have class

thumb_up thumb_down +23

men, men like men= men+bed

thumb_up thumb_down +28

i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Vaginas are like? books. You stick your dick in them.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Get me a sandwich, bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops