roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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don't read this

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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im telling maguire

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Anything involving women..

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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What happened as a result of the bitter terrorist attack? The president began to devise a plan to help the abused child

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

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Her lips aren't proportionally fit to her face

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How did the girl die? 25.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple

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Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Muslim athletes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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