Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

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Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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A man walks into a bar... who cares what happens after that Charlie Sheen is winning and Osama Bin Laden is dead

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whats the difference between a white jew and a black jew the black jew is treated poorly and is sent to the back of the gas chamber

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what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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Name two things that are stupid and can get stupider. You can't , there's only one a blonde

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roses are red violets are blue me n' friends guna rape you trolololoLOLOLOlololOLLOLOLOLOLLLOLOLOLOLO01010101010111 666

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

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what's 9+10? 19, not 21

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What do you call a black man walking home in the dark after a long day at work? His name you racist

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How do you give an 80 year old man a heart attack? Hold a gun to his head

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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