Why did the chicken cross the road Because he was Pierre preasured by all you assholes Saying he already did it so now he feels like he Has to do it.

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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What has 8 legs , 6 eyes and 3 mouths ? - A cowboy riding a horse while holding a chicken .

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why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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how many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? usually one but depending on the severity of the patients' case the lightbulb will be changed by a person who is willing to offer their assistance as to prevent any form of accident taking place.

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knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

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A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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Why did the man cross the road? He was hungry and homeless, and in search of chicken.

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there once was a frog with no leggs

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? Because 6 accused him of cannibalism

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A penguin walks into a bar and orders a beer................ PENGUINS DON'T WALK OR TALK

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I'm sn otter

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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Why did the bird lose all of it's feathers? It got cancer.

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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