Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the librarian say to the three black men in the library? Nothing. Those three men were Harvard graduates and were very respective of libraries, and thier policies.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What are the four season of Canada? Cold, cold, cold and road work.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

9/11/01 walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do black men like bit butts? Because they can not lie.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are blue Little Tommie is dead In a body bag Going to the dumpster Behind my house

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you cross the color pink and pie? A penis ate the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down

guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What was everyone doing in the library? Reading

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? most likely one unless there is physical disability that makes this person incapable of this action

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

thumb_up thumb_down -22

haha women's rights.....what a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops