Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what's worse than getting hit by a car? getting hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How can a black man burn his pop-tarts? If he leaves them in the toaster for too long.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A homosexual black man and a 13 year old child are in the shower at the local gym. The black man says to the boy "you dropped your soap, why don't you pick it up?" The boy promptly thanks the black man, picks up his soap and continues to shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than missing the bus? Having the short bus picking u up

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A Jew walks into a bar. It probably hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

This is not a joke.... It is mind rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Penal Dysfunction

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You know whats better than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops