Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the heroin addict get staff infection? His skin broke open multiple times without proper cleansing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Drew Knowles is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Wait a moment, I will see what I can do.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did death say to life? Go die

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Santa Claus is so hairy he need to shave more often.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

"What do you call a man who has bumblebee wings and fire for blood?" (The doctor on the other line has no answer. Tom desperately weeps into the phone, trying to grasp his sudden transformation. He finds no reassurance, and hangs up the phone.)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened to the short kid on april 30th: His girlfriend broke up with him

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q. who's george porchy?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops