what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Who's there? Somebody who wants to come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

thumb_up thumb_down +38

So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What Do you call a black priest? Holy shit!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

an ethopian thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q.) How do you make a whore blush? A.) Tell her she has pretty eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than being a 40 year old virgin? Being a 12 year old girl in Africa who gets raped everyday to feed her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Justin

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops