What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

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whats water and frozen? an ice cube

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Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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I like the way he thinks. Too bad he has alzheimers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

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Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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How is a frog similar to a corn dog? They both have really long tongues, except for the corn dog

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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What did the boy Tell to his friends? Nothing. He has noone.

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

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A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

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How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

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Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

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Why do pokemon have hair? because they have no balls

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

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Religious fanatics: WE MUST NOT SIN! Jesus: And I died for their sins? They do not even try a bit of sex and rock and roll? Now that is a sin :( I died for nothing then :( Religious fanatics: Damn!

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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What? Chicken butt Why? Chicken thigh Who? Deez nuts

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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yo mama is so dumb, she got all Fs on her report

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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