Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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Why didn't the millionaire jump off the Golden Gate Bridge? He said "I don't have to commit suicide, that's for poor people" (Wyndellberg)

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

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What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

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Why are white people not good at basketball? Because they aren't black.

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what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

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What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? The bench can support a family!

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Golf.

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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Betty White's wrinkly ass skin.

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What's red and on fire? My crotch

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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