Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

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How can you tell that the Filipino presidential candidate Grace Poe is an alien? From her extra set of retractable jaws and highly acidic body fluids.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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What do you get when you mix tea and sugar? sweet tea...

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Nickelback ranked number 1 as greatest rock band according to rolling stones magazine!

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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What do you get when an Alabama and an LSU kid are mixed?A small child who grows up in a world of fighting and domestic violence.

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Why did the squirl eat the accorn? Because he enjoys it.

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wat is the difference between rainbows and poop? I LOVE RAINBOWS!

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great distance she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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Austin do your class work. Quit looking at anti-jokes. Yes you the one that goes to RRHS.

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Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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