What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

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What's another word for a priest? Rapist

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

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What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a person of Jewish descent and the other is a device for traversing waterways akin to the raft.

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

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Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

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How do you stop a bus You throw a fridge at it

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

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What did Stevie Wander get for christmas? A book

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Guess What! HI!

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Why did the rooster chase the chicken? - They were playing tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

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Drunk irish man

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did the 10-year-old boy get on the computer? He had to finish a project for Social Studies, and it was due the next day.

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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