What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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knock knock. who's there? someone.

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... So he could be hit by a car.

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what do you call a pond filled with frogs having sex with bacteria is burning there insides while a midget with assburgers is chanting "SMACK THAT BADONKADONK!" racism..

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Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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What did the black kid get for his birthday?

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Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

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A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

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i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

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Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

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When did the Chinese guy go to the dentist? At the correct time he had been allotted.

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Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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I have read the terms and conditions

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Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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