A duck walks into a bar, but he is kicked out because he is not 21

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A walrus walks into a bar

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

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What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Kevin. Which? Kevin Smith or Kevin Johnson? Kevin Johnson. Oh ok, come in please.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

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Two Jews were fighting over a penny and then they realizde that they may be made fun of for this and quickly stopped.

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Poems don't have to rhyme... Refrigerator

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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