What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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What's the difference between cat and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other is a watermelon.

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walks on the moon and the other f*cks little boys.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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:y do people talk? ;idk :oh then nevermind

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Yo momma so fat she weighs 400 pounds.

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

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What happens when an Asian with a boner walks into a wall? He breaks his nose

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Q: whats big gray and cant swim A: a castle

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

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What is pink, red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in it's eyes

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Hello

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Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: Lethally inject it.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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