a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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Who's the cutest girl in the world? Claire Seiter.

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Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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what did th teacher say to the student? be quiet and do our work

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white, and Pansies are pink.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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17

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Where's Stevin Hawkins? He went for a walk.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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