- Anti Joke

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

An old lady says, "Oh i see now." The guy standing next to her says, " Honey oyu know im blind right?"

Why is 3 less than 4? To get to the other side

Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

A very rich man had a son. He was very proud of his son. The son was smart and diligent and did well in school. On the son's 16th birthday, the father went to his son and said "son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you for your 16th birthday." The son, without hesitation, asked his father for 1,000 green golf balls. The father was taken aback. "But son, that's such a strange request! Might I remind you that I'm VERY rich, and I could buy you ANYTHING your heart desires?!" But the son was adamant, and his father, though confused, honored his son's request. Some years later the son graduated from college at the top of his class. His father, once again beaming with pride, came to his son. "Son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you for your college graduation." The son, without hesitation, asked his father for 2,000 green golf balls. The father once again was confused, and a bit angry. "Son, that's a ridiculous request! I'm offering to buy you ANYTHING you want! I'm a very rich man, and almost NOTHING is beyond my requisition! So please, reconsider, and tell me what you REALLY want!" But the son was adamant, and his father, though bewildered and frustrated, honored his son's request. Years later, the son, following in his father's footsteps, was a very successful businessman. He'd married a beautiful wife and borne his father many wonderful grandchildren. One night as they ate dinner in an expensive restaurant, his father said to his son, "son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you in honor of your fantastic success and wonderful family." Once again without blinking his son asked for 3,000 green golf balls. Enraged, his father slammed his hands on the table and yelled, "WHY MUST YOU MOCK MY GENEROSITY SO?! FINE; YOU'LL HAVE YOUR STUPID GOLF BALLS, BUT YOU HAVE LOST YOURSELF A FATHER!" And so the trade was made; the son's strange request for the animosity of his once-doting father. Several years later, the father and the son not having spoken once since, the father got a call from a hospital informing him that his son had gotten into a terrible car accident and was dying. Forgetting all about his grudge against his son, the father flew down to his son's side in a flash. His son was conscious for the first time in days as his father arrived. "Son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I'm so sorry for disowning you! I know I never should have! I'm so sorry for the years we've lost! But I must know, son, why did you want all those green golfballs; those wretched orbs that drove us apart?! Surely you had a grand design for them; you're the perfect son and I could not have asked for anything more in the world than you!" His son, on death's door, looked into his father's eyes and said weakly, "well, father, I-" And then he died.

how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

What did the black person say to the white person I'm black your white

If Life gives you melons, then I think your dislexic

A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

Two women were sitting quietly.

Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

Why did the Jewish man kill his wife? Who cares.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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