Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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What do I hate? people

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roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

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The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

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Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

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A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

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What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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