What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

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What's round and orangey? An orange.

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Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

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antijokes

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

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A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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What did the mountain biker say when he saw a double rainbow? This a very rare occurrence in nature, and I should enjoy this rare phenomenon.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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What did the blind boy get for Christmas? The same toys from last year.

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five gay guys stand in a line is it a straight line

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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