I'm so hot my father calls me son.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? "Damn, that's a good apple pie."

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A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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A black guy, a Jew, and a Mexican jump out of a plane. Who dies first? Well, judging by the fact that black people in general have a higher body mass, the black man most likely would smash into the ground first.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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This is an anti-joke.

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"What's funnier then this joke? Women's rights." *Your suggestion is contradictory considering the fact that you are implying "Women's rights" is more humorous than "Women's rights".

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What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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Type better antijokes above

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Knock Knock Who's There? A rapist

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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