Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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Q:where does baby oil come from? A:Only the finest of babies

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What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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