Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a man holding a shotgun was chasing him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +25

"What's funnier then this joke? Women's rights." *Your suggestion is contradictory considering the fact that you are implying "Women's rights" is more humorous than "Women's rights".

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: Why was the baby crying? A: I kicked it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Half the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water jack fell down and broke his neck and he was dead... The End

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

thumb_up thumb_down +3

i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats water and frozen? an ice cube

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops