What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call two babys with one head? I dont know either, answers on postcard please!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Stop screaming! The damn uppercase letters make my head hurt! Let a lady have it for once!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why are bowling balls racist? They are not because bowling balls are incapable of having feeling therfore they cannot have racial thoughts or actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

thumb_up thumb_down +8

the little boy got in a ice cream truck he cant sit down anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What is worse than finding a worm in ur apple Idk I am asking u

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +25

When god hands you lemons .. you find a new god.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

thumb_up thumb_down -2

there was a blonde and abrunette and they both jumped off a bridge . who hit the bottom first? the brunette beacuase when the blonde was halfway down she had to walk back up and ask for directions

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops