Last words of a redneck - "Hold my beer and watch this"

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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A mentally disabled person asked a tree, "Are you a tree?" the tree didn't say anything because it can not speak.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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I just can't stand sitting down!

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Whats black,White and Asian? everything we are all equal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

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knock knock? whos there? eatmop. eatmopwho? HAHAHAH EAT MY POO

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

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A: Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights B: Wanna hear another joke? Your sexist beliefs are why your single...

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The foreskin of a baby gorilla

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A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

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What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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