Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

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what"s short , has a tail , and is amazing ? maddy cartwright i lied about the tail!

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

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"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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i dont fisish anythi

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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1 Jew XD

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What is more boring than watching paint dry? Aids

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! *gives offended look and walks away*

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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tims sty:)

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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