When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

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Pickup line: Boy: Hey, do you have a library card? Girl: Yes

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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whats long and black? a baton

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What did the man think of when he saw a squadron of military bombers flying over his home? The football game is about to start

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One day a man walked into a wall

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What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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What do you call 2 black men sitting on a porch? Craig and Smokey

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Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

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Stephen Hawkings was ice skating on the Eiffel Tower... then he woke up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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