What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

Why were the black mans hands all sticky? He was helping orphans with arts and crafts

Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

Why can't Tommy ride his bicycle? Because Tommys' bike has a missing pedal.

I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

What did the paralyzed kid get for his 18th birthday? A boner.

What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

why'd my house get destroyed I was afraid the tornado that hit mass was going to destroy it so I blew it up

A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...