there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

thumb_up thumb_down

Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A: Whats black and hangs from my tree in my backyard? B: What? A: Blackberries B: Blackberries grow on bushes

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The snake had no skatebord to put johnnys refrigirator because the bettles mom had stolen the clowns purse were his parking had been for the airplane higway stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a young man holding a banana? Well, this joke had quite a good ending, but as this site only has anti jokes I am going to change the ending. Because he wanted to eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you call a Jewish wanna be gangster? Drake

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

thumb_up thumb_down -97

What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The Mets win the World Series

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops