mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: I'm a horse. We have long faces.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Womens rights

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Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have made a lot of money and are also well known around the world.

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? ..It was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

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What did the mentaly handycap kid get for christmas. A Bop-It

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What do you get when you cross a Kangaroo with a sheep? A: That would be impossible for it is impossible to breed a kangaroo and a sheep due to their difference in genetic material and number of chromosomes

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Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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It's kind of hard to die when you're in a freezer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops