I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Q: Whats black white and red all over? A: A dead penguin

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

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sadf

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

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69

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food before? No? Well neither have they.

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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I had an amnesia joke But it was written down on a slip of paper because someone else wrote it down. Let me just take it out & read it to you

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as the bar was made of metal and the man made forceful contact with the bar which resulted him in saying ouch.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

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A guy walks into a bar and orders 4 shots. The bartender promptly pulls out a gun and shoots him 4 times.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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