Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

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Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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Justin Bieber.

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Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

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Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

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Why does Michael J Fox have such good handwriting? Through years of hardwork, perseverance, and rehabilitation.

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A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Why did the tissue dance? Because it had a boggie

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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Q: what do u call a hotdog that's not cooked? A:a raw hot dog

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why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

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why couldnt hellen keller drive? she was a woman.

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

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Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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