What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

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Susie has Autism

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven died three months ago and was clawing on his bedroom window.

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

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What's the difference between a terrorist and Bill Gates? One founded a successful software company, and the other commits mass murder of civilians for political gain.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

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Your mom is so stupid, she decided to go back to school.

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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There are two men waiting in line at the supermarket. One of the men reaches forwards and taps the other one on the shoulder. He says, "You dropped your wallet.". He picks up his wallet and both of the men continue on with their day.

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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Q: What do you call a person up to their elbows in a horse's ass? A: An Amish auto mechanic. (this gem brought to you by Designated Dale)

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

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You're so ugly, When you look in the mirror it displays you're reflection because that is what mirrors do

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

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Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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