What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Click here to end the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Chinese man a Mexican and an American are all on a plane. They are all trying to get rid of stuff they have to much of in their country. The chinese man throws out a bowl of rice and says " we have to many of these in our country" the mexican throws out a taco and says " we have to many of these in our country" the American throws out the mexican and says "we have to many of these in our country"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You're tall.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. Why couldn't the blind black guy read. A. He's Dead

thumb_up thumb_down

Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A gorilla walks into a bar and order a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

my name is piare (peeair) because my balder is empty

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How can you tell that your friend just had sex with a blonde? The girl he just had sex with has blonde hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops