Three left giraffe testicles fell out of the sky and into a woman's grocery bag. "Did you know that 16 people die from dolphin rape every year? said Adolf Hitler as he began eating a horse.

what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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