Why did the sixteen year old girl get an abortion? She didn't want the responsibility of raising a child

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Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

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sdasdadasdasd

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How do you hold someone in suspense?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

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what is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? you take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Armando masturbated

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realizing on your deathbed that you regret the life you've lived and hate the person you've become.

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

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What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

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my name is Jacob sartorious

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor dog

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Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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