Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

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Knock, knock -The door's open.

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One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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I'm so hot my father calls me son.

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Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride our bikes!

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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roses are red violets are blue last time I saw u were in a zoo don't worry ill be there to not in a cage but laughing at u

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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