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Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

copy me and i will kill you

What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he didn't make it that far

How do u make a hockey player cry You Kill his entire family

A frenchman, an englishman, and an italian walk into a bar. They proceed to drink their beer in silence, because they can't understand each other one bit.

There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

Wana hear something dirty? Mud

yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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