What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

how do you kill jesus? with a knife

What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

My Boyfriend

Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

What did the blind man say to the deaf man? -Nothing, he doesn't know sign language.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

EVERYONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND!! DYSLEXICS ARE TEOPLE POO!

Women's Rights.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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