what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

What happened to the teacher? He taught his students.

Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

Why did the boy have sex with his grandpa? His grandpa is a nice guy and it was his birthday.

Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

If an illegal immigrant fought a child molester, is it Alien vs. Predator?

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

What's wrong with a black man in a bar? Nothing, Except the fact that he is an alcoholic, and will probably beat his wife after drinking.

As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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