Two condoms walk into a gay bar. The people in the bar are perplexed that two inanimate objects are capable of locomotion.

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Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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What do you call a deaf black man? Well, if you did not already know his name, you would first have to contact a member of his family, or a friend, and ask them, as even if you were able to communicate the question of 'what is your name?' to the man, it is well known that the speech of deaf people is nowhere near as clear as that of people who are able to hear.

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A donkey looks at a goat. The goat walks away.

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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why did the Japanese boy drop his ice cream ? Because he was hit by a building.

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roses are red and violets are in fact violet

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Noah is Smart.

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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You remind me of something. What? Summer Why because I'm hot? no because there is no class..

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

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Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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