Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

what did the brick say to the other brick? hello. the guy next to the bricks was shocked and went home and killed his wife then later higherd an indian man to give him a lapdance.

Why did the lizard turn blue? He was low on oxygen.

Women's rights

What was little Timmy's final words? I just want to go home.

The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

What is the difference between a duck? It can neither ride a bike.

knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

My wife has terminal cancer.

You know what is funny about r.ape? Nothing. It's horror

A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

your mothers smells so bad,because she has poor hygiene skills

yo mama so fat she's fat

Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

luke moore cant pull it back

Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

Satan called. I put him on hold.

What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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