What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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you just contradicted yourself.

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A black man shoots someone. He was a cop and he killed a dangerous man who attacked him.

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What happened when the Mexican man contracted the muscles of his large bowel after a large meal? Shit made its way to his anus

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What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

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A man did not like this site

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Whats the difference between a frog?

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2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

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A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

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Why did Helen Keller always ride in the passenger seat? so she could SUCK THE DRIVERS D!CK!!!!!!!!!

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I'm sorry sally your grandmother is dead. LOL _ grandpa Laugh out loud!. I can't belive you. I thought it meant lots of love Grandpa-ha funny mistake though right?

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Guess what? SHADAP

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why did the man drop his razor? he had a seizure.

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

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A paralysed man falls over.

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops