When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

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roses are red vilots are blue in soviot russa poem read you.

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Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A niggarette

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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What do the holocaust and 9/11 have in common? They were both terrible tragedies that people will look back upon in sadness for years.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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The Awkward moment when the world doesn't end

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

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I wrote a joke for 'Anti-Joke', I laughed, it was funny.

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8====D~~~~~~

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did you know, that a Bear has 42 teeth? massive erection.

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Your mamma's such a whore, she sleeps with men who pay her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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