whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Well the chicken was very confused and had no logical brain power to think or know where it was going. Once he crossed the road he went into the ice cream parlor but was soon kicked out due to lack on communication

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What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

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Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

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John Stamos.

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what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Apologies for the inconvenience sir, I shall bring you a new bowl as soon as possible.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

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No pen- no notes No notes- no study No study- no good grades No good grades- no diploma No diploma- no job No job- no money No money- no food No food- really skinny Really skinny- ugly Ugly- no wife No wife- no kids No kids- lonely Lonely- death No pen=death

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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