An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black guy who walks into your house and takes your stuff. A repoman, pay your taxes next time

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Helen Kelley's dog run away I'd run away to if my name was. Ughgughgughgiggughfufh.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the frog order at McDonalds? Nothing, it's a frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Jerry.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q) Why did Anti-joke start this webpage? A) Probably to make people laugh. and to show some irony in a few common jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

kaite is dumb that is true

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the baby cry? Because his parents dropped him on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

sdjhkferiughefljbdfnjkbhdfghlwu24537? 928ndfnfwdjfhoinbv;nop[

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

thumb_up thumb_down +14

sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

thumb_up thumb_down -7

God saw himself. Finally, proof.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops