why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

thumb_up thumb_down +4

WWII veteran screamed! "You d@mn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the little boy throw a clock out of the window? Because he wanted to break it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a red door and a blue door? Fat black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Dan O'Driscoll

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

All of the people in the burning building escaped except for one what was wrong with that one person? He was a blind, could not hear and was in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

thumb_up thumb_down -140

Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops