There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

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you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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9/11.

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I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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Miškinis gerai prikolina.

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Is it hungry in here? Or is it just me?

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Why shouldn't you worry about having a baby? Because with all these jokes, babies aren't even going to be around anymore. "What's funnier than a dead baby?" "A dead baby in a clown costume"

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My life sucks, I'm about 20 years old, and i haven't changed aged for 15 years, I'm stuck in this dead end fast food job, my colleague hates me, my boss is a money crazed freak, my best friend is a mentally retarded immature weirdo and to top it all off, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first one.

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Moral

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

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a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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i like turtles

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Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

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hey, my names mark.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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