Whats white, black, and red all over? A penguin on fire

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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Why did George shaw fall off the swin?. Because he got a bowl thrown at his head

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knock, knock . whos there? the police. get the hell outside !

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An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

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A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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The Game

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what do gay people eat?? food

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

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Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

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Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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A racist guy walks into a bar. Gets drunk, and cracks jokes. Then proceeds to get the shit kicked out of him.

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Paddy and mick were walking down the street when they saw some traffic lights. They proceeded to cross the road and continue on their journey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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