Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -22

So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What's worse than dropping your icecream? Slavery

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two women are sitting on a park bench, minding their own business, saying nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops