Why did the man spill his coffee on his daughter? Because he is dying from Mad Cow disease so his hand experienced a traumatic spasm.

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Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

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Whats the quickest way to a woman's heart? A bilateral incision on the upper left region of the sternum.

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

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why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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Kesley Ioannou not shopping.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

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If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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Q:Why did the black man break into the KFC? A: Due to being recently fired from his job, he is not earning any income. The lack of money to support his family of 5 drove him to such a desperate state that he found breaking into restaurant the only way to provide for his loved ones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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