A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

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yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroy his family and career.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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Q: What do you call a black woman who can't tell you who her baby daddy is? A: "Mam". Rape is a serious and painful crime, and the strength to raise a child on her own without her consent is worthy of respect.

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Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

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Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

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why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

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Roses are Red ?And sometimes yellow ? My mother is mellow ? Billy you have cancer ?

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John has 32 candy bars, he eats 28..what does he have now? Diabetes.

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If you posten bout Kony I feel bad for you son. Cause ive snached 99 children and you pst saved none jesse

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What's the difference between you and a polar bear? I don't hate the polar bear

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops