What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

ginger

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

What was the first thing the mother did when her baby was born? Weep. The baby was a was a stillborn.

Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

I'm gay.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

Penis.

A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

What did the man say to the other man? Hi

If youre African, why are you white?

what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

What's more fun than a negative pregnancy test? Nothing.

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

Q: whats the differences between a bra and the canucks?? A: a bra has two cups

What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

Why did the audience laugh at Chaz Bono? Because he told a funny joke.

knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...