I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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you are black i am black except for your big hairy ass

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Cancer Cancer who? After some time and various bouts of radiation and chemotherapy, he finally lost his life to the terrible disease.

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Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

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tuna fish dolphins sharks idk

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what do you call a black man flying a plane?? a pilot ,you racist!

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What did the boy do with his ice cream? He ate it.

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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A blond, a brunette, and an Asian take a test. They all get exceptional grades and pass college.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he wants to drink. He orders a beer.

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You know what it means when a priest lays his watch down on a podium? Absolutely nothing

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A Muslim boards a plane and he sits done quietly and politely just like everyone else, the plan lands safely at its destination.

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What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

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Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Wow, so today is 9/11? Yes.

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Do you want to hear a shit joke? Stuart.

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Hitler said "Jew mad?" I did nazi that coming !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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