Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

jeremie er en ape hvorfor er han det? Who cares!

I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

Knock Knock Who’s there? Wolf Wolf who? Wolf who!? Is that really the first question that comes to mind when confronted with a talking wolf?

a muslim, jew, and catholic went into a bar and sat down and had drinks. The muslim asks the jew "are you macrobiotic". the jew replies "no" and they go about their fun....

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

what did the lawyer say to the doctor? hello.

one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get hit by a car

Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense MICROWAVE

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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