Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

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I have an idea! You leave.

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Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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Instead of throwing out his garbage, a young boy decided to play a prank on some passersby and left a banana peel on the sidewalk. moments later an elderly woman walked past and slipped on the banana, falling backwards and smashing her head. The young man watched from the bushes as paramedics shook their heads and placed a now lifeless body in a body bag and took it away. The young boy, startled and shocked at what he just saw, tried to run away, but slipped on his own banana peel, falling backwards onto the pavement. The young boy was lucky and survived, but later had to go to therapy for many years to come, the thought of his prank gone wrong torturing him until he took his own life. What is the moral of the story? Do not litter, ALWAYS throw out your garbage.

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my name is CC im a little bit retarted but i only drink my own urin and sometimes i like to have a big dinner with poop urin and my friends urin CC for life!!!

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How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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Passing by

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What's better than a pile of dead babies? Anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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