If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

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How do you get a Blonde to brake her nosebone? You put your dick under a glastable! QQ

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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So FDR walks into a bar.

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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