If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

I'd like to make a withdraw

Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

Which square is small and yellow? The small, yellow square.

u jelly?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because due to the crashing economy he feels the need tom travel far distanced for work and food to support his growing family, this causes him to take dangerous routes of travel through hazardous areas with fast moving automobiles that potential have the chance to kill or severely Maine the distressed chicken. Not only does he have to cross these roads twice a day he is also under the added pressure of many millions of people questions why he takes such chivalrous actions to save the his future descent and the steep decline in the population of chicken.

What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

What's the difference between Micheal Phelps and Adolf Hitler. Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who has won many gold medals in the 2008 Olympics in swimming races and is considered to be one of the greatest swimmers ever. Adolf Hitler was a terrible man who was the leader of the Nazi party during the World Wars. He ordered to kill eight million Jews, causing what is called the Holocaust. He is considered one of the worst men in human history. Other immature people would say Micheal Phelps can finish races.

Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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