Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

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What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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One time i ate a hamberger than an hour later i sneezed but i dont think it had anything to do with the hamberger.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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What do you call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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dickdickvdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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Why did Nico Bellec not shoot that one guy? Just joking, this is Grand Theft Auto 4 dummy.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh wait i screwed up, Because of u

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Why did a man get fired from the M&M store? He was color blind.

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Once upon a time a homeless man was walking down the street. He stopped suddenly and realized he didn't know how to read. So he walked to the library to find someone to teach him. A woman was sitting at one of the tables so the homeless man walked up to her and asked, "Can you teach me how to read?" The woman stared at the homeless man for a few moments. Then she replied to him saying, "Not until you take a bath." Realizing that he smelled awful and that his face was covered in dirt he nodded towards the woman and left to go find a shower house. The homeless man came upon a hotel and asked the receptionist, "Excuse me sir, may I take a shower here?" The receptionist gave the man a long hard look and said, "Not until you find a better set of clothes." The homeless man looked at himself and saw that his clothes were quite old and worn out so he left the hotel to find a clothing store. He finds a clothing store and asks an employee, "Sir, may I have a new shirt, pants, socks, shoes and a pair of underwear?" The employee quickly said in reply, "Not until you pay for them." The homeless man remembered that he indeed was poor and didn't have a penny to his name. So then he walks out of the store to go find a job and make some money. He happens across a storage facility moving many heavy boxes. He walks up to the supervisor and asks, "Pardon me sir, do you need any help with moving these boxes? If you can pay me a few dollars I will help you." The supervisor said to him, "Sure, start moving them to that unit in the corner there. So the homeless man worked until dusk, made $55 dollars, went back to the clothes store, bought new clothes, waked back to the hotel and took a shower, and finally walked over to the library where the woman was still sitting and learned how to read. He walked out of the library feeling accomplished and full of pride. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention to where he was walking. He slipped on the curb into traffic and was hit by a car, dying on impact.

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Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

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What do you get when mix an orange with juice? Orange juice.

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What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Someone else's cheese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

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Fiats

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Roses are red, Violets are blue this poem sucks, GET OVER IT -brett

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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