Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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Q-What do you call kids who go to school? A- Students.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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A black man walks into KFC. the whole room..THE GAME.

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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whats nun plus nun two nuns haha!! from jarod :}

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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A mexican pedophile stalks a child home. He molests him.

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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but there is a road to the super market

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What did the gay guy say to the other gay guy Want to make out?

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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what's bad about pushing your friend off a cliff? you can't do it twice

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ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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