Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

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Knock Knock! ... Whos there? ... Daisy ... Daisy who? ... Daisy me trolling... ;)

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Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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What's black and white and red all over? A racially integrated society.

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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im a dragon, no im not

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Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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why did sally fall off the swing cause she had no arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What do you call a black man with a job? An employee

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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