Q: what did the suicide bomber say after the attack? A:

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

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I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

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A fat African a rich mexican and a gay guy jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The gay guy because fat Africans and rich Mexicans don't exist

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Why did the Jewish girl fall off the swing? Because Amon Goeth shot her in the head from his balcony with his rifle. --Amon Goeth's friend

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Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

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your mammas so fat tha-- my mother is dead. oh... sorry.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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What did the man do when he went in the bathroom he took a crap wiped his butt and washed his hands and went back to meet his family at the dinner table

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Hello

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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Yo Mama is so dumb, that she scored significantly below average on the SAT's.

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

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A giant watermelon falls on a man He's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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