You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

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Why was the Asian women crossing 8 lanes of traffic with no blinker? Poor chink had a seizure.

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clown penis dot fart? dangle pussy

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Knock knock Who's there? Osama Bin Laden

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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Knock, Knock. Come in!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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What do you call a black girl scout? A brownie

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Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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