What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

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What do you call a man who was just struck in the head with a bowling ball? An ambulance would be the most appropriate thing to call since this man just sustained a serious head injury and medical responders should be contacted, lest his brain start hemorrhaging.

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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-Knock knock -Come on in!

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

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thre guys walk into a bar then goes to sit at a booth and the three guys have to go to the bathroom so they ask a waiter to safe they booth while they go to the bathroom 30 min later and they are still not back so the waiter goes by the door and one guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing" and the guy says " blowing bubbles " then goes and sit down " then the second guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing " and the guy says " blowing bubbles" and goes and sits down then the last guy come out and the waiter says " let me guess blowing bubble " the guy says back "no i am bubbles "

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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Why did the white man cry? Because his mistress, Shanghai, was threatening to tell his wife that they were in a relationship and, out of anger, he bashed Shanghai's head in and she is dead,

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

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guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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