How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 one years old to be in a bar.

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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your mom

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roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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Two Jewish kids walked into a bar... mitzvot.

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Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

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Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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