Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

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What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

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What did one gorilla say to the other? Urgh.

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How does a black guy die? He doesn't , he's black

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

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If life throws you melons... ouch

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What kind of cheese doEs god like? Swiss cheese because it's holy!

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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Poop

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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You know you guys are suppose to post jokes, not basketball comments.

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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Every sixty seconds in Africa... a minute passes - plz like to save Africa!

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An elderly man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Dad!" The old man replies, "Hi son. I'll have a Bud Light." The bartender serves his dad a Bud Light and says, "I'm thinking about going back to school to become a doctor." The old man says, "I'm an alcoholic." The bartender replies, "Great, another Bud Light coming up!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops