A frenchman, an englishman, and an italian walk into a bar. They proceed to drink their beer in silence, because they can't understand each other one bit.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

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Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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Why did the black guy get hit by a train? I strapped him to the tracks

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She was so hot every guy instantly jizzed upon seeing her. Even seeing her fingernails gave boners to thousands of people. Poor thing never had sex, no one could hold it in until they started. Maybe only Chuck Norris.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What do you get when you stab a four year old in the chest 57 times A dead body

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

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What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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