How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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SCHNARRRRRR!!!!!

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what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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So coool! How did you do that dinosaur!?

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Why the boy doesn't get any birthday presents? he has cancer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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You're Like A Book I Want To Put You Down

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Carrot fingers

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What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Can't Sing, Or Ryhme

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Say the line below sixteen times very fast: I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... Done? Good boy!

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A man walks into a doctors office and waits for his turn. After his name was called he walked up to the doctor and told him that he kept having hallucinations. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic to help with the mans addiction to LSD.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, he isn't coming. Posted By: Lram

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson is dead....

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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