How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as the bar was made of metal and the man made forceful contact with the bar which resulted him in saying ouch.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

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A guy walks into a bar and orders 4 shots. The bartender promptly pulls out a gun and shoots him 4 times.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

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Why do many men find it difficult to make eye contact? Debilitating autism.

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what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

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Why Couldn't the pirates see the movie? Because the mall strictly enforced local curfew laws ; and one of the pirates was unable to provide a valid form of identification.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

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Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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What do you get when you cross rice flour,vegetable oil,corn oil,cottonseed oil,soybean oil,dried potatoes,corn flour,maltodextrin,wheat starch,modified rice starch,sugar and mono-and-di-glycerides,malted barley flour,wheat bran,dried black beans and salt? Pringles,Multi Grain,truly original

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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Jews

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops