Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

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Your d is so small that when you had a boner and walked into the wall....... YOU BROKE YOUR NOSE! Millimeter Monster bro

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Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

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What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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No just stuff on the internet when I get bored, like on facebook and stuff, why a nurse? Whats wrong? Is he ill?

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whats 2+2? 1

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this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were on the Moon? Nothing he's dead.

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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Okay on a scale Casey Anthony to Jerry Pandusky how much do you love your kids?

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What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

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A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian walk into a bar. The Muslim is dissatisfied with the choice of the meeting place since the Islam forbids drinking alcoholic beverages.

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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