A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a green man.

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What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

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Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society

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How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops