What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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whats brown and sticky? shit

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Why did moral man run out of morals? Moral: LEAVE MORAL MAN ALONE! BUAHAHAHA LEAVE HIM ALONE! BUAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

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A Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They end up getting into a heated argument. After about an hour of back and forth they decide that each person has a valid point, agree to disagree, and go about there business.

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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roses is red violet is blue i will smack you

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The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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what did the blind kid want for christmas? world peace.

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Wanna hear a joke? that disabled guy who wants to climb mount everest.

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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black people are white when i use night gogles

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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