In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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Hello.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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Cancer.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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The jets are a good team..

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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what is big and white? Your Mom

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? A puppy, but it was left too long in a wrapped up box without air, it quickly suffocated and ruined the kids chirstmas.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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( . Y . )

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a murderer.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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