How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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Q: Little black thing with a little red thing on it. What is it?! A: Ant with a broken nose...

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What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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What's black and full of coke? a bottle of coca-cola

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what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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Your momma's so dumb, she had to spend an extra hour studying for her mathematics test.

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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Women's Rights

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

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Penis

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Jack Oliver has a Bowl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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