How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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What's cute and smokes? A cute person with a nicotine addiction.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

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An englishman, a german and a ginger are in a band. they play some creative music that some people may find enjoyable to listen to and would like to purchase a track.

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Albert your flies undone.

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Q: Whats worst then losing your wallet? A: Giving birth to a dead baby.

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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Q: why was the girl so dumb A: her teacher was a blond

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what did the terorist do when he went out side blew up

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

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YEAH! LIKE RELLEZ! XD Anyway, sure, it depends, you don't get voted as the most pointless man on Horse-head network without working some for it, but if really weird comments impress you, then sure. Honestly though, I might have been flexing my show off muscles a bit more than usual, as in posting more stupid stuff than usual, BUT, that is because when a MAN meets a sexy WOMAN, yet another one than his WIFE, his already boiling testosterone burns with flames... ...And yeah, where where we again? Oh yeah, you acting a bit bimbo, and me going "RELLEZ" just to make you aware... Then added this.

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What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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