One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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haha

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Why did the boy want to commit suicide? Because he didn't want to die.

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Wanna hear my impersonation of a homosexual man? I am attracted to men.

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A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Why could the woman not play the game monopoly? Because she did not own the game monopoly

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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So a baby seal walks into a club

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

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i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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