While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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A horse walks into a bar. He ordered some fries.

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There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A thief. What do u call a black man in school? Janitor. What do you call a black man in court? Guilty

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

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The WNBA

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

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what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

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Knock Knock. Who's There? silence... Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

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Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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whats red and falls from a tree an apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops