this is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

thumb_up thumb_down -12

B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Face Hunter is scum

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did God say when he saw the first black man? What a wonderful creation I have made.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Has u seen my grammar?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what's worse than finding a fat couple in a buffet?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops