What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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what color is blue? green

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

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yfygcugyuyc

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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Ben Colbert is gay

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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We found a cure for cancer. Death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops