I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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A black man approaches a customer service desk and asks for help. He is racially discriminated and receives no help with his problem.

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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i stole a monkey from a man in a yellow hat his name is george now his name is i hate you

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knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

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A black man walks into KFC. the whole room..THE GAME.

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Knock Knock Whose there. Mike Mike seriously I told you to stop coming here or ill call the police But I just wanted to talk to you Ok thats it im calling the police

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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ure mama's so fat

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

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Why did the boy fall out of his high chair? I'm not sure.

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I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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