Steven and Daniel are playing with super soakers in the back yard. Steven says to Daniel: "You can't squirt me!" Daniel says to Steven: "Yes I can!" Daniel is HIV positive.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what"s short , has a tail , and is amazing ? maddy cartwright i lied about the tail!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i dont fisish anythi

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

1 Jew XD

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is more boring than watching paint dry? Aids

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops