Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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What did the man with aids say? "I'm dying and there is nothing you can do about it"

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koj yog ib tug tsoob qaib eater, uas nyiam mus rau Peer li qub poj niam qhov chaw mos raws li ib tug nyiam ua! (Google Translate may help)

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What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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glasses, jacket, shirt They call me glasses, jacket, shirt man. I never leave the house...without my brodies. hehehe hahaha hohoho!

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

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Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

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Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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I hear Lebron has a new phone. He has it on silent all the time. It's because he doesn't want to disturb anyone around him while they prepare for important games in which he will be an indispensable part of, especially during the 4th quarters of the NBA Finals.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

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What's awkward? Your phone going off at a funeral What's more awkward than that? Your ringtone is Highway to Hell

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Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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