What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -3

doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks up to a horse and asks, "why the long face?" The horse stares back at him, blankly. The man then sits and ponders his life, sad that he now tries to communicate with horses and realizes that his eccentricity is probably the reason his marriage failed.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two english guys meet at work

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A nugget

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the white guy say to the black guy? What's up?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Jew and a Nazi walk into a bar... 1 year later they are married with a baby on the way

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Iggy Azalea

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats polish and black a polish black person

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops