shut up elliot

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

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Anti-joke.

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http://api.solvemedia.com/papi/media?c=2@4kVxPaRsBr6xmKYFf1AWrnUekZ5Qm16e@VS0Tc9Os5q8ENU8bgrSzdX9APTC4lJjowvMEvv53MnevBtoOvXkqvmo6q3GRjryi4pBIcsYECoiZmERhCMm3t7otsPlwyu31uNcluNyw3UKXeBeML2ZQF3X3Wfs3WC6Cdp-lOv-Y0fRdSiML4k2yPqmVJrbT.a9hCr0BoWsRJvq7n7aejLjOmz3h3eZDdwJaN54pFV-QOvO5sQ5wVZlVq-2yi9hMbBbb213AoVTT7vLIhTq0xcBFvtuMdWdS2jn2ActORr3W16MmSEVcgrS6gA;w=300;h=150;fg=ffffff;bg=5d216b

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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Why do Mexicans get made fun of? Because they are Mexican

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why did the black go to the KFC because he likes fried chicken

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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What do u call a black man in the middle of a crowd of white men? A rare sighting of a black man trying to go to colledge.

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A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

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Why was Yabba annoyed? Because the idiots who do the audio description voiceover for Timmy Time on BBC iPlayer frequently refer to her as a male even though she is clearly a female duck.

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What did the teacher say to the student? You failed science

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

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What's the difference between a catcher's mitt and Lou Ferrigno? If you seriously said "I don't know, what?" I suggest getting a medical examination by a professional psychologist.

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Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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