Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 4

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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Knock Knock Who is there? 9-11 9-11 who? You said you would never forget.

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

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women's rights

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

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What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

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No

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? It isn't doing anything, sir. It's dead.

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How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

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sorry got to poo

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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