Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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A blonde, ginger, and brunette took the SAT. They all performed successfully and were admitted into their colleges of choice.

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

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Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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What's the difference between an orange and a dead baby? One is a popular citrus fruit commonly grown in Florida, and the other is a horrible tragedy, possibly caused by miscarriage or a serial killer, who was hopefully immediately jailed for his actions.

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Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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Why wasn't the man talking? Because he was sleeping.

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A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

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What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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