Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to the doctor he recommend she lose weight or risk high blood pressure and heart attack

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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How do you survive a plane crash?? You don't

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

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jack and jill went up the hill to have a little fun. that dumb ass jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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The meme walks out of the bar.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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What's worse than finding out you have aids? Nothing. Actually I lied. It would suck being an illegal immigrant.

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What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops