What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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There once was an X from place B, Who satisfied predicate P, Then X did thing A, In a specified way, Resulting in circumstance C.

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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What's worse than people repeating a joke about a handicapped child and voting down original, funny, anti-material? Knowing that millions of cubic decimetres of precious air and thousands of tonnes of food are being wasted every day to sustain them...

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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Clyde: Hey John! :D John: Hey clyde! :D Clyde: :D! John: :D! Clyde: :D, :), :|, :(, D'X John: ? hey man, are you ok? Wtf is going on with you? Clyde: Man, it's not me... :'(... It's you... It's your... Your... John: My what? Clyde: YOUR FACE!!!! D'X

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

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what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

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What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

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A narwhall walks into a store and asks the cashier where he keeps the soap products. The cashier does not speak english.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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yo mama is so fat even dora cant explore her

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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