How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do Texans call cows? Cows. Calling them almost anything else would be utterly illogical.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two gay men walked into a bar in a bigoted, small-minded town and were beaten to death with shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is the difference between a girl and a woman? Age

thumb_up thumb_down +16

gesss what happen u promis not to tell anyone ok this is what happen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? Doctor Brown, I have your test results, you've HIV positive.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Tell her something that doesn't make any sense at all.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Women can vote? wtf

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the light on in the house ? A. the owners were using it

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did Helen Keller always ride in the passenger seat? so she could SUCK THE DRIVERS D!CK!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops