Smoke weed till i die nigga

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Why does Michael J Fox have such good handwriting? Through years of hardwork, perseverance, and rehabilitation.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "i have aids."

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What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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Ron Paul for President!

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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What's a Jew's favorite food? You would have to ask on an individual basis because it is unfair to say that all Jew's have the same favorite food

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What time is it? 10:58

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What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

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Why did the girl run across the street? Because she was being chased by a man with a knife

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What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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