Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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Why did Billy drop his lunchbox? Because he was mauled by a Hippo.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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Why do women why perfume and make up? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

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How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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holly shit!!!! when did i get on the internet !?

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What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

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Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

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lewis=cardiac

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

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What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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