your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding, it got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

Why did the girl jump? Because she was on a trampoline.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Time to get a watch

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

What comes after 69? 70

the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

How did Muhammed Ali get into Professional Boxing? With a lot of hard work and dedication.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

Knock Knock Who's There Alex, Now open the door, please. Oh Ok.

Mario goes home after a hard day of work and finds his entire family killed and a note from Bowser... He is now an asshole who beats and rapes kids...

What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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