3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut? A Heart Attack.

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

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Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

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Rishi is a funny guy, well he thinks he is. true story.

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What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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a man and a woman walk into a alley. They get mugged the man fights back out of pride and then gets stabbed the woman escapes and then goes to the police the man is then found two days later. *gasp* what a weird dream.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were belongs

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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