What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot

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Your mom is over the average weight for a person of here height and age.

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

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who's sexually attracted to bones? James Cornish

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Knock Knock! Whos there? Doctor! Doctor who? exactly.. how did you know?

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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