- Anti Joke

Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

What happened to the blind boy? He went deaf.. helen kellered....

One night, I walked into a bar. I ordered a few drinks, and left later that night.

My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

What if I told you.....potatoe

A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

Roses are red violets are blue suck my and I'll you too

What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

What's the difference between 6th graders and Jews? 6th graders make it back from camp. :)

the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

Pi = Pie, something everybody likes.

What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

Her tits are so big that they would provide adequate nourishment for any future offspring.

whats green and has wings ? a flying patch of astro turf

3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

How do you make a mimer to speak? Shot him in both knees and cut of he's ear

Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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