elen degeneres is straight....

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An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Where does Charlie Sheen Shop? Winners

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Aaaaakkkkkiiiiiinnnnfffffeeeeennnnnwwwwaaaa

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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your family is so poor that you require healthcare to recieve money

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

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010010101210001010 You dirty girl

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How did the girl die? 25.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

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Who is the girl that has had sex with over 10 guys? Georgia Hidi

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What starts with f and end in uck Firetruck

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Why are fire trucks red Well fire trucks have 4 wheels, and they have 8 people in them, 4+8, is 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, a foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a boat, boats sail the seven seas, fish are in the seven seas, fish have fins, the Finns defeated the Russians, Russians are red, And that is why fire trucks are red.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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Shea's sty....

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That didn't hurt.

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<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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