knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

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Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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Want to hear the best joke? Your life :,( i think i hate you?

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Meow. What did one dog say to the other dog? Meow. Why was the man sad? He had a retarded dog.

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how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

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You`re honor, he fell off the staircase, I demand that staircase ends up in jail! Case closed.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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Q: whats worse than a Muslim? A: a Jew

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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Why was the kid happy? Because it was his birthday.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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