What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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What did one dolphin say to the other? Nothing. It was dead.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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What did the black kid call the white kid? His name...

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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WNBA

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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? One is easier to unload with a pitchfork.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

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This joke is funny

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. This task does not require over 1 person to complete.

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why were the African, Asian and Mexican men thrown out of the bar the barman was a racist

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Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

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Liverpool City Football Club

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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shea kisses a girl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops