What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

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Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

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YOLO MAH BROLO

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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black people

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Blarg

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Why did the kid get out of school at twelve? He left early with a stomach ache

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what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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a pornstar comes early to a party

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A blonde and a brunette are stuck on a desert island, they later died of starvation.

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dead dibbs

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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Thumbs this down

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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