Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Moral

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +40

i like turtles

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

thumb_up thumb_down -36

hey, my names mark.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I told you it would happen

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Guess what? I like trains.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

who is mark

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Four Iraqis played hide and seek 17 years ago, one of them missing, why? he's still hiding.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. Whats worse than 9 babies in 1 suitcase? A. 1 baby in 9 suitcases.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops