what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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Two horses are playing in a field, One says to the other "Hey, sup" they then continue playing.

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken? He was on death row and it was his last meal request..

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple finding half a worm in your apple.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One splatters and makes a big red mark on the ground when dropped from a building. The other is a fruit.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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Why are there so many anti-jokes about refrigerators? Because the writer of the joke was pressured by terrorists that would kill him if he didn't write about refrigerators.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin when he noticed he had lost his belt? A: Robin! Q:What did Robin respond? A: Yes?

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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A:Knock Knock, B:Who's There? A:Orange, B:Orange Who? A:Orange Banana.

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hi my name is matt mckeon and i like renata saggy tits !!!!!

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because the white man murdered him.

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Why did the man die a slow and painful death? Because he kept submitting stupid, recycled anti-jokes over and over; so, I killed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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