Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whose. There? Not Susie.

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

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butt sex

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Q. How many lemons does one person take to fill a ladder? A. Fish

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Where do you send a Jew with ADD? A concentration camp.

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

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how do you get a man with a gun out of your house? you don't.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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ginger

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roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

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There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

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Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

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What does the president and the prime minister of china have in common, Sickle cell anemia. 342

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There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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