What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society

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How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

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why did the dog eat its breakfast of meat because he was hungry

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops