Lets make like trees and stand still

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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You know what is really annoying? An annoying baby that wont stop crying while you are trying to do very important work.

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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What happened to the boy who spilled his fruit punch on the president? He was offered a new one compliments of Obama himself.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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lewis bedford

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

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What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

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A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

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A man walks into a bar, ouch!

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga A: You pokerface

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

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who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

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666

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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