Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

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What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

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What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

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What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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Why did the mexican immigrant have no friends? He lacked social skills and was unfamiliar with American mannerism's.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

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What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

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My children are huge mistakes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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