Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

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What did Jesus say last before being nailed to the cross? I don't know, It never happened. ...Why did he say that? He didn't, it's not real.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

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Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

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why do people just recycle the same jokes over and over are you that desperate for some f*cking attention? The Holocaust

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I was once raped by an Asian... it didnt hurt

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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How did the blonde die? Frogs teleported from the future and brutally murdered her with forks.

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Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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Wuts brown and smelly? Brown smelly stuff.

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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A man with a magic watch says to a prostitute, "My magic watch says you are wearing any underwear." "YOU HAVE MAGIC WATCH?! Can it tell time too??!!!"

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what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

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Jesus, a frog, and Faith Hill walk into a bar. The frog says, "What is this, a joke?"

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Military intelligence.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because his dog died

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Why did the chicken cros- oh he got hit by a car.

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What happened to the clown that touched the kid? The clown got honked up

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Your mom

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What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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