A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Instead of throwing out his garbage, a young boy decided to play a prank on some passersby and left a banana peel on the sidewalk. moments later an elderly woman walked past and slipped on the banana, falling backwards and smashing her head. The young man watched from the bushes as paramedics shook their heads and placed a now lifeless body in a body bag and took it away. The young boy, startled and shocked at what he just saw, tried to run away, but slipped on his own banana peel, falling backwards onto the pavement. The young boy was lucky and survived, but later had to go to therapy for many years to come, the thought of his prank gone wrong torturing him until he took his own life. What is the moral of the story? Do not litter, ALWAYS throw out your garbage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

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Whats worst then the Holocaust? Two holocaust's.

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What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

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Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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what did the right wing jew say after he was arrested for murder? bt we went through the holocust

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

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whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

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Why was the alpaca sad He just got raped

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Well Nero, my actual name is Axel Knight, I might have used your "moralman" identity as my own social experiment of sorts, I mean no offense, and if you will leave some contact information, I am sure we can arrive to some kind of settlement... ...Keep your identity crisis thing, I have absolutely no reason to continue communicating here, besides, its six million followers, actually more like seven...

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

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An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

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if your having trouble coming through the back door, try a Butterfinger

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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Why do vampires drink blood? Maybe if they existed you could ask one.

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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