There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? They had a sale on dresses on the other side.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Cheese that isn't yours

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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What's a joke? Funny

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Penis chickens

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What didn't the artist buy at Best Buy? A Ziploc Bag full of AIDs infested zebra pubes.

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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Why did the plane crash Because the pilot was hit in the face with an axe

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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Cripples are lame.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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The Economy

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What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

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why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

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What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

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What do u call a black man playing a jumping sport? I don't know but it is totally normal.

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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Which square is small and yellow? The small, yellow square.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops