Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

thumb_up thumb_down -15

knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are red, Shrubs are red, Trees are red, Holy shit my garden's on fire!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

THE GAME

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. What did little John get from reading this. then wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what's funnier then 33? actually there's a plenty of things, just have to think about it

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the plane crash Because the pilot was hit in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -3

yo momma is so fat that she got diabetes and lost her legs

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops