why does gamma not smile because he has strokes

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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You all have Aids

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What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

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When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

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What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

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What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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An Amish walks into Best Buy

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how do u kill a blonde: drop something shiny at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 2 blondes: but a mirror at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 3 blondes: ask which 1 of them is the prettiest and then wait 5 minuetes:)

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wanna hear a joke? no.

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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modern love

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

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I'll be back. Please use the door.

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Hello Braydon I am at home where are you?

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Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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How can you tell an Irishman from a frenchman? Well, if you look back at both there heritages...

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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