A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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what did the blind kid want for christmas? world peace.

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Wanna hear a joke? that disabled guy who wants to climb mount everest.

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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black people are white when i use night gogles

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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What do you do when a blond ask you a question? Answer politely and thank her for her wonderful question.

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why was the boy sad...because scooby doo shot him with a harpoon

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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