What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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i yoused to cry a little when i laughed . then i got raped by a clown.

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How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

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A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

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CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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I have Alzheimer. What?

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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