Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

SOPA gets passed and shuts down anti-joke because KFC claims the picture of the anti-joke chicken

*DRRRRIN* Finally someone uses the doorbell.

Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

If push pops give life a push, Then isn't your mailbox purple?

Why did the little boy run away from Michael Jackson? Because he was scared

What's Worse then an apple with a worm? The holocaust

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

yes i can connor, this is brett.

Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

A brown haired girl and a blonde girl are driving through a cornfield. Because of this illegal activity, they are sent to court and given 8 years in the state prison.

Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

what did the little girl with no arms or legs get for her birthday? a bike.

-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

What smells like dead rats? Dead hamsters

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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