-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as the bar was made of metal and the man made forceful contact with the bar which resulted him in saying ouch.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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What's black and white and red all over? A cow being processed

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whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

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Why did the other Albino cross the road? He was running away from a witch doctor who was going to brutally murder him and steal his body parts.

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If your South American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European ( your a pee an)

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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knock knock whose there the hospital staff your mom just died of AIDS

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Dick Chaney

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Boy: Why? Girl: Because I don't want to.

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What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

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Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops