Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

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what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

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mitt romney

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You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He had a stroke.

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how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

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What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

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Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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