which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Unfortually last night Andrew McNeil was studying soo hard that his head exploded and the next day at school, his friends found out and then cheered with laughter and happieness.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun...

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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What did the mentally retarted student get on his SAT? Drool

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

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What did the white doctor say to the black doctor? We both went to medical school.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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