How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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DEATH.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

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Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

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a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar.

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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what is juicy and smells like juice,but it is not juice? juice. i lied about it not being juice.

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What did the transvestite hooker say when he/she saw a robot fighting a dinosaur? That's strange.

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What do u call a black man in the middle of a crowd of white men? A rare sighting of a black man trying to go to colledge.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender," I'd li.........................ke one beer please. " The bartender replied, " Sure. But why the big pause? "

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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96

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s o m a a d i t u n y s n i t a c s d c ' s k h k s t o e l y e

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Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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