Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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DON"T READ THIS!

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knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

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marble

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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theres a kitten stuck in a tree, whats wrong? it's dead

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? When a child gets raped every night by its father.

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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What do you call a black man inside a house that is on fire? A fire fighter as well as a hero since he was probably inside the house searching for anyone who was trapped inside

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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