What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Guess what? What. This joke isn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What would Muhammed do?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I went to the game and saw a Mexican wave. So I waved back at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the similiarity between a black person and a bicycle? They both work best with chains.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Three men walk into a Bar.... You'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it !

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

thumb_up thumb_down +59

u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

quinn knows four other quinns but he ruined my life so he tells me to stop because im ruining this website but i disagree and now he is trying to tell me a joke and im not listening he is still trying but i don't care because i hate him,

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops