Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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what's the difference between a box of dead babies and a corvette? I don't have a corvette in my garage!

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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Roses are red violets are blue..... I have normal vision

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women's rights

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

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BOOBALANBOO

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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What does a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? Neither one can ride a bike.

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What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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47

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Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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