Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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My spelling is horrible

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

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Women's football

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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Whats worse than 2 holocausts? 2 and one tenth of a holocaust

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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knock, knock who's there? I'm here to kill u! I'm here to kill u who? .......

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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What's dumber than a black guy that can't read? Two black guys that can't run with TVs.

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Two blondes are out for a walk when they come across some tracks, they realise they are train tracks and move out of the way to make sure they aren't hit by a train.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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how do u kill a blonde: drop something shiny at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 2 blondes: but a mirror at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 3 blondes: ask which 1 of them is the prettiest and then wait 5 minuetes:)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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