A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: I'm a horse. We have long faces.

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

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Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

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Yeah, totally.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

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Whats worse than a son killing his own father? His biological father finds him, 10 years later.

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yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

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How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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