i want to meet Dora's parents and ask them why they let that bitch go everywhere

A duck, a rabbi, a homosexual, and the president walk into a bar. As a result, bruises appeared on their foreheads.

Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

Why did the man walk into a bar? I don't know? Ask him. by Burflared

So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

What job did the black man apply for?.. Several, its a downward economy.

Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

this site is funny.

Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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