a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

What do you call a crocodile in a dentist? I have no idea, but I'd hate to be that dentist.

Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop?...... Dr Dre.

whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

*prepares this to get negged*

question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple ? Finding out your apple is rotten on top of that.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

What do you get when you cross an orange with a gerbil? A mailbox that lights up when you open it

How many arabs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. We also have a black president.

whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...