Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

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what do you call a grown man who sticks food up his nose? retarded

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Why did the fisherman go to Alaska? The commercial fishing business is strong there and it was a sound financial decision.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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Roses come in a variety of colors.

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

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what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

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Three black men walk into a bar. One of the men, having recently reached sobriety, opts not to commence in the consumption of alcohol. The other two, impressed by his level of restraint, decide to leave the bar and take the initiative to turn their lives around for the better.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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