My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

thumb_up thumb_down -12

women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red violets are blue i uhh umm hold on... the man with Alzheimers proceeds to think of the rest of his poem he wrote for his date, after an hour he remembers but his date has left and the staff proceed to guide him out and back to the insane asylum

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You know you have no friends when you write anti-jokes. [M]

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats Big, Brown, and smells like Horse Crap? Horse Crap

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do Sandusky and micheal Jackson have in common? They are both white.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo Mama is so fat that she has to wear large clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Are you a human?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's funnier than the pope in a speedo? Humor is subjective, so answers vary from person to person.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A Black Man Walks Into an Office For A Job Interview. The Meeting Goes Very And He Soon Has A Very Nice Steady Job.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops