"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

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Black people don't exist. Their skin is rather of a brown tone.

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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To mamma so fat..............nuff said

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar and theres only one bar stool left how do they all sit down on that one bar stool. They flip the bar stool around and sit down all together

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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holocaust jokes are bad, anne frankly they annoy me

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A black man,a Hispanic man, and a white man are in a race. The white man wins because he took steroids and used somebody else's urine for the drug test.

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a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

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Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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What is white, sticky and tastes great? Milk

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

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What do you do when you see a black man limping in your yard? You invite him inside, ask him what happened, and possibly call an ambulance if, God forbid, the situation is that serious.

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How many dinosaurs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if you're talking about T. Rexes, you can forget about it! Their arms are too short to do anything! They can't even beat off!

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

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What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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