A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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all hail based mark

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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I drive a 'rarri

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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What's black and hangs from a tree in my yard? A tire, and it also happens to be a swing.

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Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

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One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

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What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

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Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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