Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Me. May I come in?" "Yes, you may."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whenever someone asks you why you're sad, always remember this simple answer so that people won't keep asking you more questions: "Because Hitler died"

thumb_up thumb_down

who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -124

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, he isn't coming. Posted By: Lram

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Gustavo Andrade

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

No, luke. I am your father. damnit

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops