What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do a fish and a moose have in common? They both live under water, apart from the moose.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Holy fuckfarts! I did mention I am at my mothers place right? What am I saying? What am I typing? Marry me now!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Military intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the difference between a cat and a banana? One is a cat, the other is a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q : What is the similarity between me and my friend? A : We both are crazy

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What separates man from animal? Divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q. Whats long and and can drip out fluids? a tap.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Duck walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

An old lady says, "Oh i see now." The guy standing next to her says, " Honey oyu know im blind right?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

jcjdj

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops