A boy askes santa for a baby brother. Santa says give me your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

knock,knock you suck

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what sucks? things that suck

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Black and a Mexican are in the back of a car, they are carpooling to save money on gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is worse than Jerry Sanduski? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

No.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock! Who's there? Sheryl Sheryl who? No seriously, it's me, Sheryl.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops