What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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what happened to the asian who failed his math quiz... his parents killed him

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Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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What's faster than a black man running with your tv His brother with your XBOX

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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What did the crowd do when a lion walked into the bar? Got up and left because they realized the potential danger of the situation.

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A student often slept through his alarm, which led to a lower class attendance rate and thus a poor performance on his exam

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

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What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

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Why do Native Americans own Casinos? Because it's a very profitable business situation.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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Shltskc gw? G

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This is a joke setup.

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby?... a dead baby dressed as a clown whats funnier than that?... A pile of dead babies dreesed as clowns Whats funnier than that?... that the baby in the bottom of the pile is alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops