OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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There are two types of people in this world: Those who can finish lists. and

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A man with a gun walks into a bar. The police are called and the man was killed quickly.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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Yo Momma is so ugly she probably doesn't have any friends.

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What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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Heil Hitler!!!!!! Why thankyou General Himmler. Would you care to join me for supper this evening?

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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Once upon a time there was a chicken...the chicken married a dog. They dog and the chicken had little baby dog-chickens then the daddy dog killed the mummy chicken by eating her. The baby doggie-chicks saw and tried to run away but the daddy dog ate them too. Moral of the story: Marry someone who can't eat you ;)

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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Knock Knock. There was no answer.

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean

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UNICORNZ R PURPUL

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Notice how Anti-Joke MISSPELLED "user", writing "uses" instead. Probably most of you didn't notice until I posted this :)

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How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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