What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

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a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

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What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

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How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

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A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

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Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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What do you call a girl with one leg at your door step? Ilean

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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i have yougurt with tractor

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Want to hear a joke? Unequal rights.

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause he couldn't afford to pay the gas bill.

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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