How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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I was born.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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Bake until golden at 375

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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bergin y u so tubbbbbyyyy?????

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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Why did the boy go to the hospital? He didn't. Unfortunately the gunshot wound severely injured the boy and he was unable to be revived in time to survive.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

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Why did the baby cry? Because he fell off a refrigerator.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They were baked until the baker them until they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

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Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

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A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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