Your mom is so old she died

Women's Rights

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

A Jew, a Mormon, and an Atheist walk out of a bar. They all get in a car with the Jew driving. They were all deceased do to the fact of a very large car accident. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive!

If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

What do people in Asia do for black history month? Nothing, black history month is an American thing.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

Q: What is scarier than the boogie man? A: Herpes

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...