What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

Yo mama so fat that when she goes to the movies she sits next to everybody.

why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

What's worse than a dead baby? A baby.

How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

Why does six love nine? They both get pleasured

A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

knock knock who`s there me oh come in

In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? However many needed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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