''In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, 'If you want to go forward you put your car in 'D.' If you want to go backward, you put your car in 'R.'' But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F'd.''

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If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

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What did the Asian see when he went to Youtube.com? Youtube.com

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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A black person walks out of KFC

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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What happens when a black guy roles over a speed-bump? I don't know. I have never tried it

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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a little kid goes as candle for halloween, 69 girls blew him teenage boy goes as candle for halloween, all he got was burned

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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what are three short words? i a am

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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There are two lawyers about to enter a court room. They look at each other shake their hands and then the defending lawyer smiles and says "I'm Jewish your f*cked"

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homosexual rights to marriage

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Why did Old Man Robert fall down the stairs? Someone kicked him down. And then he died.

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Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

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Whats so funny? Josh nash's face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops