Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you kill a fox? With a gun. How do you kill a deer? With a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A:Knock Knock, B:Who's There? A:Orange, B:Orange Who? A:Orange Banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Communism

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why are spanish people good at soccer? Hard work and a long-life time comitment

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -24

knock knock WUUUZZZZZUUUUUUUUP!!!!! WUUUUZZZZZUUUUUUUP!!! WUUZZZZUUUUUUUUP!!! WUUZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!! WUUUUUZZZZUU......

thumb_up thumb_down -32

whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Go away still nothing to see

thumb_up thumb_down -4

do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops