Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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Nuneaton..

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What's good? Anything that is not bad.

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I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

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what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the frog fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the monkey,

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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