What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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How can you tell when a African man is lying? Like any other person you would use a lie detector.

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roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

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what did the women say when she found out that superman was clark kent. i know that you are superman clark kent.

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Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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What is the best part about being in bed with twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

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OGC - tilt your head

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Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

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roses are red violets are red everything is red who set my house on fire

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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