why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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i like pie.

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There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

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Mac, or Big Jim, as his friends call him, follows the same routine that he has every day for the last several years. His days are always typical and very rarely differ or have any excitement thrown in the mix. It usually starts off by him waking up next to his wife, whom was always giving off a potent and delightful smell. This happens because she has a certain shampoo that makes her much more pleasant-smelling than the normal person, especially as she sleeps. So Big Jim then takes his pillow and throws it at her head. She usually wakes up thinking that he is trying to be a nuisance because of that, even though what follows next has happened every single time for the last few years. He continues to lightly hit her with the pillow until she, in a delightful flurry of feathers, begins to strike back. After a fun and good-looking pillow fight, he then proceeds to the bathroom to urinate and then wash his hands. After this, he then brushes his teeth and gets dressed. He goes to work and is encouraged by his boss every day for his astonishing effort and is then threatened to be promoted if it improves any more by the end of the month. He is always being encouraged by his boss because he does as much as he can do at the Woman's Abuse Shelter. He cares. But, at the end of the month he is never promoted because he threatens to take his boss's daughter out for ice cream - of whom he has fresh photos of her most recent farting accident as proof of his promise. His boss found this quite creepy and inappropriate. Normally, someone would go to the police, especially when there is photographic evidence, but the police chief is too busy to join them for ice cream and the only detective in their small town moved away four months ago. This caused a problem because the ice cream was never disposed of since the only ice cream man died one day prior due to old age. He was 79 at the time and well-loved by the community. After work, Big Jim then went home and his wife hugged him with delight. After dinner with his wife, Big Jim went to bed and had a good night's sleep.

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If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

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Whats white and sticky fluff

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

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Yo momma's so dirty that she washes her hands with anti-bacterial soap.

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Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

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Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

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A gay kid and a group of his friends are at the park. Gay: hey can you do a cartwheel? Girl: helllll no! Gay: Are you straight? Girl: Yah? Gay: Im gay and i can do one.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

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Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

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what do you get when a white man and a black woman have a baby? A baby

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

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F: what is BLUE and has 400 whells ? Q: NOTHING !!!

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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