You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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A blonde walks into a bar. That's it.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

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Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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Ask me if I like pie. Do you like pie? OF COURSE!!!!!

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What's the difference between a black girl and a white girl? Nipple color

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What did little Jimmy get for Christmas? Presents because he wasn't poor.

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What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

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Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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what happen to the popo who got arrested? he told himself that he had the right to remain silent

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What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

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Why did Johnny fall down? Because I threw tropical fruit at him.

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So a Jew an Asian and a gay guy all walk into a bar... ...I lied. It was an oven.

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What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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