In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

Why was the Islamic woman killed? She insulted Allah.

What's brown and sticky? Caramel.

Your life That's the joke

Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

Your mom's so hairy, she should go to the barber!

slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

Are you the only 10 I see? Because I'm blind.

Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

What doesn't kill you makes you injured

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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