Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

what's brown and sticky? a stick.

Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? because i shot it.

How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...