So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is green and is not grass A frogg

thumb_up thumb_down -3

*spongebob voice* 25

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops