Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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how do you make Chuck Norris laugh? tell him an anti-joke.

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guys cmon dont make fun about abbie make fun of josh brown WHAT A NOOB

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A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

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Where do you go when you die? Nowhere

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What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon... like... masterbating on an airplane.

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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A drunken man grabbed a gun and shot his entire family to death. Luckily, a even drunker man had shot them moments before, so it really only served to ruin the perfectly good wall behind them with bullet holes.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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Whats The Difference Between A Baby And A Watermelon ? You Can Throw One In The Air And Hit It With A Bat , And The Other Ones A Watermelon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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