why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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What's worse than being a jew in the holocaust Being born black

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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You know what they say about big feet... Wow, those are some big feet.

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His death was mourned by his wife and three children who wished he would not have been so reckless.

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Why did suzy drop her popsicle? She was trampled by a homosexual moose.

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Yo mamas so fat We are all concerned for her health

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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How old is victor? Old

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

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Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

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i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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What did the rapist say before the little girl got in the van? Get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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