What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Brain fart

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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I'm on a seafood diet. It consists of prawns and tuna.

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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if ruddell was gay what would he be? a gay prick

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why is the black man black? because he isnit white

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Whats worse than having a worm in your apple? Having one in your intestins.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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