Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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What do you call a drunk cannibalistic Jew? A HeBrew!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am color blind

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

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Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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Want to hear the best joke? Your life :,( i think i hate you?

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Meow. What did one dog say to the other dog? Meow. Why was the man sad? He had a retarded dog.

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how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

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You`re honor, he fell off the staircase, I demand that staircase ends up in jail! Case closed.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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