why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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What is worse than being unemployed? Terminal Cancer

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What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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A guys walks up to a drug dealing looking to score some drugs. The deal was made an the man quickly arrested the drug dealer because he was actually a undercover cop

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What's funnier than the pope in a speedo? Humor is subjective, so answers vary from person to person.

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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What's black, white and red all over? A popular novel printed in multiple languages.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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I used to be a schizophrenic but we're okay now

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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I can't think of a joke!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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so a kangaroo a piece of cake and a whale are all doing... ...nothing they would not hang out together

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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