what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because-- ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????? ??????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

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Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

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"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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How do you stop a baby from making bad grades? You throw a javelin at its head.

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Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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What did the man say to the atractive woman? Hi

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

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A jewish man, a black man, and a redhead walk into an electronics store. Because they work there.

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yo mamas so fat... she's a map on call of duty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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