Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Boy: Why? Girl: Because I don't want to.

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

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What's big and juicy and liked to be sucked by women? A penis.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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What's the shittiest thing ever ? Poop.

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What do you call a black man with a Ph.D? Doctor.

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Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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Why did Mark get paralyzed? Because he was a famed football player that went drafted for the 1st pick but was later hit so hard that his spine com pulsed and tore

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it tried but was hit by a truck at the halfway point.

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What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

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What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

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why cant ben cry, because i gorged his eyes out with a popsickle stick.....

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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