Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Two generals went for a trip, it went very well in general.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

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Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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A dog just died in my neighborhood last week. It made me sad so I vandelized a church and got put into jail. That made me even MORE sad so I vandelized the jail. Morel of the story: This wasn't grammaticly a story. A story is not 3 sentences. --

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Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

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What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

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Did you hear the one about the man who fell asleep on the job? He woke up.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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A.how does a penguin change a light bulb? A.the same way all other penguins change a lightbulb

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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4 black people in a car drive of a cliff. the sad thing is there was a extra seat.

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Did you know that in Africa, every 60 seconds... A minute passes. So sad

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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Hello! Echo! My name is Ed!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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