What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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Q:How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two

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Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

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How did the little boy get lost? He didnt he got dragged into a van and was raped violently.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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Womens rights

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

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What's 9+10? 19

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A lady walks into her bedroom and sees her boy friend having sex with another girl. She hears the phone ring and a voice says "your grandma died".

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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