Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.

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Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it got stuck at a red light, it waited 5 minutes before getting frustrated and leaving. Later that day the chicken realized that it had forgotten to press the button.

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

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Together we can get theist likes on anti-jokes :)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

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A man walks in a bar he talks to the bartender aand he tells him a joke about him and hs friends. how do you find out his name? You killl the bartenders friends and family untill he talks.

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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mommy, mommy, the ice cream man is coming can i have a dollar? sure sweetie. YAY! Goes up to ice cream truck, ice cream man asks what would you like little boy, would you like chocolate, vanilla, str.... Ice cream man steals small boy.

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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