Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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Did you hear about that superman guy? He died.

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? To get to the other side.

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Q: What do you call a group of asians riding their bikes while carrying large bags of merchandise filled with an ample amount of video games? A: Obviously, a few enviromentally-friendly entrepreneurs who managed to make enough of a profit via their established buisness to the extent that they could buy what they required and get some other desired items as well.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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A man walked into a bar. He ended up in the hospital being treated for a concussion.

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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Josh Moran sticks CD's up his dick to see how fun it is to give a boy anal.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Kesley Ioannou not shopping.

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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What happens when you shoot Chuck Norris? You go to jail.

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Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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