Why doesn't the black man have a job? He's working on his masters degree.

thumb_up thumb_down +939

A kangeroo is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many waffles does it take to get to the moon? NO, silly. Snakes don't have armpits.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock. Whos there? Death. You will die in the next 12 hours from terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

A guy jumps off a cliff and does a reasonable thing, scream to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

you that read wrong no you typed it wring my mind just rearranged the words to make grammatical sense

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

dislike this...please.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because seven "eight" nine. Yeah, I went there.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is better than AIDS? Cancer.Cancer and more cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

P0P T4Rt

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hair

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did I eat for my breakfast? My breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

thumb_up thumb_down +891

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops