Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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Whats black and white and red all over?.. The L.A. Race Riots.

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

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Hail Hitler

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What did the comedian tell the audience? A well thought out joke that anyone can relate to because that is what the point of a joke is.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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A man walked into a bar. Ow!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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I like cheese. You like cheese. Have a nice day.

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Tom: So I heard a pretty good Anti-Joke the other day. Jim: Oh, I love those!! What was it? Tom: [says nothing]

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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25

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Q: What's the difference between black and white? A: A lot...

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lol

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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Why did the little girl drop her teddy bear? Because she was being sexually molested. Why did the little Jewish girl drop her teddy bear? Because gas came out of the shower-head.

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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