what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

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Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I ate your horse.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

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What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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What happened to the blonde pregnant women? She died giving birth to her blind and mentally challenged son.

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What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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what's white and sticky semen

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

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I have an erection My mom!

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What did the blind lady say to her cat? Nothing she doesn't have a cat.

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im jacob, i have as much hair on my penis as mr macs head.....none.

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Andy Carrol

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Why did the leprechaun cross the road? If you still believe in leprechauns, you need to see a doctor.

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what is sad about gingers ? they are an unrecognised visible minority.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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