I remember this one time... I was sleeping... And all of a sudden... I woke up... Yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

thumb_up thumb_down -125

a 7 year old child is watching a show that involves a c0ck, an ass, a bitch, and a bastard......... However this show is completely appropriate for a 7 year old, what could possibly be inappropriate about a chicken, donkey, dog and an orphan?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

anti-joke.ru - russian style

thumb_up thumb_down -12

my egg roll

thumb_up thumb_down +3

ilglsdfbvklwbkvbsjklgvsdgbvilsdbklvbwdjkbvwdfseghrfvuowebg

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Sara fell off her swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sara

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar and decide to have a drinking contest. Who won? The rabbi. The priest died of alcohol poisoning later that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Whats red and circular? A: A red circle

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black priest who's name is John? Father John

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two homosexuals walk into a bedroom, and begin to have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops