abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

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How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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What made the lady dance? Bandz!

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What does the thirsty butcher drink? Chocolate milk. Because he can.

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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what goes up and down , and left and right all day without breaking a sweat? A compass, get your mind out of the gudder.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

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what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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