What's small, cold, and lifeless? A dead baby.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

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What do you call a Mexican? Whatever his name is you racist.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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What's wrong with the axe murderer that lives down the street?? Nothing.

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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I'm hungry.

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what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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Your mom is so old, -just kidding. I know she died at a young age.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is your mom

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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A man walks into a bra, he is an alcoholic and is destroying his family

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what did one swedish guy say to another swedish guy? I dont speak russian

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What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

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what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

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what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

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Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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