why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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Q: What's full of different butts and smells bad? A: An ashtray.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Women Drivers.

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide? They don't. As artic-dwelling birds, they don't have access TV or magazines and as such, are impervious to influences via commercials and written advertisements. Also, obvious tuxedo jokes aside, they don't really wear clothes.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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My life

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

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So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

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what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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Jacob Edwards has friends

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Once upon a time there was a cat named Martin. He died.

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chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

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Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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