Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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What does a kid with no arms and legs get for christman.... Cancer...

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A man drives home from a bar one night, He is under the influence and his reckless driving will costs many innocent people their lives.

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Luke Hardie is G@Y

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What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

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If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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What's better than Justin Bieber's new hit single, "Baby"? Everything

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Q. Wherefore art thou Romeo? A. Global Warming. ,.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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a man made a beautiful colorful picture and hit print. the printer then grew a mind of its own and did the most horriffic and evil thing ever; he printed it in black and white.

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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The more I learn to understand myself, the more true I am towards my values the less human I feel. The irony is, that there will always be other humans feelng the same.

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What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

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what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

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A horse walks into a barn.

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Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause he couldn't afford to pay the gas bill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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