A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

The Pope

Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

Your mother is so fat that it became a problem affecting everyone close in her life. Her new year's resolution was to lose weight, and surprisingly, has become quite healthy since then.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

Dick Chaney

Why was the girl stupid? Because she had blonde hair.

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? No.

There is a bus full of puppies and babies with a plane flying above it carrying 2 tons of explosives. The Bus arrives safely at its destination.

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk! Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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