Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

There is this dylectic who can't spell.

Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

[Set up] [No punch line]

Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

The Holocaust

Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

Spongebob: Patrick! Can you hear me? Patrick: No, it's too dark.

A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

How did the dinosaurs die???? How the Heck do I kno?

Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

Whats the difference between a black man and a banana? Banana's don't hijack planes.

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

I forgot my joke about gamblers, but i bet you would have loved it!

Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...