Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse then replied, "Well my wife is dying of cancer, my mother is a drug addict, and my two kids are in the hospital for 3rd degree burns."

What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

How old are you like 10? Im 11 so shut the fuck up

what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

I have a friend named David. He then lost his ID, now we called him Dav

I hate Jews The Holocaust

Whats 2+1? 2.

Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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