Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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What do you get when you cross a leopard with a camel? Sacked from the zoo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the bartender say to the fat guy? Hi

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

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How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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Why are Asians so good at math? because of their work ethic and determination to become the best at everything.rice.

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What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

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what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

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Q: What do you call a Mexican who gets his car stolen. A: Pablo

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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yada yada

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Why couldnt the car move? It got blown up by a tank.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue whilst you reading this I just raped you

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Q: Why did the Jew have to go to the Holocaust A: Because he was Jewish

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Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

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What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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