Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Small Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Sup homie G. Shutup you are not black.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the girl sad on her Birthday? She found out she was adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have? BLAM! Texas castle law, motherfukker!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

42

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We are here to inform you that your daughter has died in a drunk driving accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops