If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

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what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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what do you call a black man wearing a makeup? A clown

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How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

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So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

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A donkey looks at a goat. The goat walks away.

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what do you call 3 mexicans in the back of a car? Carpooling to work to save on gas.

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion.

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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What's the difference between Al Gore and a slab of formica? Many things, most obvious being that Al Gore is a conscious being.

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a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

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what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

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Then what's your favorite team little white guy?

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died

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Why didn't the man go to work? He got stabbed.

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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