A son went to ask his father about his thoughts on abortion. "Dad, what do you think about abortion?" "Ask your sister." "I don't have a.."

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Their, they're, there You're, your

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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A couple arrive at a Halloween party for nudists. Then they enjoy the themed decor and food.

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He got AIDS and died.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Where did the little girl go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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Yo momma is so fat that you should really take her to the hospital, i've become very concerned for her.

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If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

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What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

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Penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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