Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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I'm not gay (phrase) - A phrase commonly used by straight men.

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Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

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What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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I have a black man in my family tree... He's still hanging there.

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Your momma;s so fat she stepped on the scale and said one at a time please!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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whats disappointing and not funny? this joke. ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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