Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari. There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Want to hear a joke? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why is this joke funny because your laughing

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black man who graduated med school? A doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

thumb_up thumb_down -26

So how does the chicken cross the road? He doesn't, chickens live on farms.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops