Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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A Japanese woman walks into a Korean deli, and asks the Korean man if she can buy some groceries. They are able to get past their cultural differences, and share their favorite recipes.

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why was the baby crying? a rabit took her bottle and ate her frit snacks.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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Why was Armando unable to be found by his friend Ashley ? A: They both were murdered 7 years ago, and bodies are unable to do anything if they lost their soul that was with that body.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

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Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

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What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

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Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I don't know anyone... Uh...who are you?

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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