What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what's worse than getting hit by a car? getting hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How can a black man burn his pop-tarts? If he leaves them in the toaster for too long.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A homosexual black man and a 13 year old child are in the shower at the local gym. The black man says to the boy "you dropped your soap, why don't you pick it up?" The boy promptly thanks the black man, picks up his soap and continues to shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black man in an envelope? A tiny black man

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than missing the bus? Having the short bus picking u up

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A Jew walks into a bar. It probably hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

This is not a joke.... It is mind rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Penal Dysfunction

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You know whats better than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops