What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I really hate poultry related jokes.

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How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

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GRAAAAAAAR.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

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Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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