Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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Whenever someone asks you why you're sad, always remember this simple answer so that people won't keep asking you more questions: "Because Hitler died"

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

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You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, he isn't coming. Posted By: Lram

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Gustavo Andrade

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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No, luke. I am your father. damnit

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

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A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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