I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

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a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

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Whats more crazy? Stabbing someone or killing someone? I don't know thats why I am asking you

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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Why did I get raped

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Why did the armadillo fall off the cliff?

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What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Whats worse then this joke? Its punchline.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

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how black is a black man? pretty black.

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What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems are pointless Refrigerator.

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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The Sun is vital to our human existence on the Earth. It also causes cancer.

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the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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