Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What begins with "B" and ends with "N" that you never want to call your neighbor? a Black Person

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why wasn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She didnt get her driver license...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A mormon walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A teenage girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges on the other side completely unharmed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

101 ways to annoy people 1.) lying about having a 101 ways to annoy people

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops