your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A Coffin.

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What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

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bologna

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Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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You have friends

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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This is funny.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

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what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

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Nickelback

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why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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What did the squirrel say to the other squirrel? Squirrels can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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