Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

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Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

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What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

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who do you call those who give this joke a thumbs down? people

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

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Did you here about the man who dropped a glass? It broke.

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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how many girlfriends does robert dupra have? none becomes his sister doesn't count trololololol

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Why are cats mammals? Because they are descended from primordial mammals in the distant past which are the common ancestors of all mammals.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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