Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

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Q: Whats worse that 10 dead babies in a trash can? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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?????????????????????? ????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ...?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? you mad?

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5 people are walking

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Woman.

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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Yo momma so fat she went on the Subway diet and is now exercising regularly to lose weight.

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Where is my tractor?

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Q: why are black people good at basketball? A: because they practice

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Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What do you call a person on a swing? F u c k N i g g e r s

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Kim Kardashian.

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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