How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a self-absorbed prick. And, honestly, the chicken and the road weren't that great of friends anyway.

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

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And so i say to the preist ........... pass the bananas

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed all of six's family

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Why did the white man kill the black man? Because he was a racist that didn't care much for black people or their ways.

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what's white, got three legs and you wouldn't expect to find in the rainforest? A fridge on a stool

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

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Jesus on the cross promised he would return rite? So three days later he returns in ghost form and leaves. So why people still waiting for him? He returned and left already! (Lack of Moral?): The third coming: this summers blockbuster hit!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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