Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

What's big fat and hairy? Peter

Your mom is so fat...

why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

An asian without a future.

How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

What has four wheels, two wings, and flies? A bird...I was kidding about the wheels.

Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

Two scientists walk into a bar, the pair walk up to the counter and the first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have some H2O too." 10 minutes later, the second scientist dies.

cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

Wanna hear a funny joke? Yes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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