Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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Why do black people love watermelon and fried chicken? Honestly who doesn't? Duh! Because most people do! Moral: Not so sure about the coolaid though...

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Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

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How to make Ramen like a boss Step 1: get a promotion

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

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What color is red paint? Red

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

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What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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