Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

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OGC - tilt your head

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Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

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roses are red violets are red everything is red who set my house on fire

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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;iub

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

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your mother is so lesbian

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Seriously tho, too much sex? I need to know dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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