"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Its Adolf, we're going to camp."

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I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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Knock Knock trick or treats? here is the candies, have fun kids!

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why is dog animal? it is not fish! 18 fits of has hair only have is Buddhist

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what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

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What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

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What's red and sweet and good to eat? A riddle that rhymes.

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Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

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What do you call your mother? Mom.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

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How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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