If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

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Q:What did sandy say to spongebob A:Nothing they were both crushed by the water pressure of being at the bottom of the ocean ni,gger

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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What's worse than finding a small cockroach in your drink? Finding a medium sized cockroach in your drink. What's worse than finding a medium sized cockroach in your drink? Genocide. What's worse than genocide? Finding a large sized cockroach in your drink.

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What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

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Q: What did the crippled deaf kid get for Christmas? A: A motorised wheelchair and a cochlear implant. Good for him.

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

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Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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How do you create an antijoke? Story written by Danny and Patrick

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Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

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Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

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haha black people :D

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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