We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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What Do you call two black guys on a bike? A two person bike

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

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how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? When buying African American Slaves the masters often sought attributes that would be useful for manual labor such as agricultural work. The slaves who met these criteria had more chances to pass on their better, more beneficial genetic info via sexual intercourse with other slaves. Through many generations the most beneficial traits such as fine motor control in the phalanges and overall strength were passed down. This is very similar to Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

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Really? Okay! UPPER COMMENT GOOD NIGHT NEROCHAN!

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Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

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An American man stopped me the other day and asked for the time, I looked at my watch and said: 5 o'clock.

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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