Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? neither has he

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Three men are facing a firing squad. They are all promptly executed. Even if they were to escape by distracting the executioners, they would no doubt be shot down before they could get for.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What makes a subaru a subaru? The fag thats driving it

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

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A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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There's 2 cows, one says to the other "What do you think of Mad Cow Disease?" The other says, "I don't care I'm a helicopter"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

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Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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What is worse than Shaq's free throw percentage? The free throw percentages of Reggie Evans, Bo Outlaw, Andris Biedrins, Wilt Chamberlain, Chris Dudley and Ben Wallace.

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im a ginger and i get beat up everyday

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69

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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