I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

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I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

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What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

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what did the black man say to the white girl? He respectfully asked her out on a date and theyve been happily dateing ever since.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Ask him to come down.

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A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

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A horse walks into a bar. The impact fractures his skull immediately, knocking him unconscious. He then dies from the resulting brain damage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the avoid the nuclear bomb at hiroshima

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What's purple and glows? An electric grape

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

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whats white and lives in a tree a fridge

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Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I would rather live in a world a chicken's motives would not be questioned.

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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