why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

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I killed someone on minecraft.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

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If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

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kk

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What do you call an asian that is black? Please tell me, I was asking a question.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

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A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

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10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

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It was a beautiful day, John was driving in his car down the street, Kameron was riding his bike preparing for a bike race the following day, and Griffin was having his 7th birthday party. John ran over Kameron and Griffin, he killed Griffin and broke Kameron's legs to where he could never stand/ride again

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vagina, hehehehehehehe

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What is similar between women and puzzles? Neither had the right to vote before 1920. Puzzles still don't

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Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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