What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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John Stamos.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a head trauma and committed suicide.

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knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

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Why did Miss Parkinson get hit by a bus? Because it missed Justin Bieber by a few inches.

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You know George Washington? He died.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

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What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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a blond readhead and a brunnett were driving to Miami, they saw a sign for next exit Miami, turned off the exit went to the beach did some shopping and all had a great time together.

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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