Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? The two ships suffered major damageand sank, killing over 100 people. The families of the passengers mourned their loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is a chicken answer: chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's Casey Anthony doing now that she's not in prison? She's actually living life as an upstanding citizen in Florida.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops