what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

thumb_up thumb_down -31

ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

thumb_up thumb_down +8

In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Rebecca Black

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The awkward when you said moment in your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virginan Hawk

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops