What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

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Why can't Tommy ride his bicycle? Because Tommys' bike has a missing pedal.

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I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

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How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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What did the paralyzed kid get for his 18th birthday? A boner.

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What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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why'd my house get destroyed I was afraid the tornado that hit mass was going to destroy it so I blew it up

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A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because six is a numerophobe.

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What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

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Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

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Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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What does Snoop Dogg eat when he's sick? Chicken Noodle Snoop.

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A man went to the doctor, complaining about not feeling well after dancing the night before. The doctor quickly rushed to the surgeon to get ready for the liver transplant that had to take place.

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what happen to covietz when he licked his balls? nothing he likes the taste

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Q:Whats worse than you touching yourself at night A: The holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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