How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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Q:How do you fit ten babies into a bucket? A: A blender Q:How do you get them out? A: Nachos

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you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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What is more tragic than a nice day wasted? Obesity.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Six and seven are numbers, and cannot feel emotions such as fear.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops