A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's a word that describes someone annoying, black, starts with an N and ends with a R? Nagger

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock Who there? A mute Bullshit

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did one man say to the other? I'm a Mormon.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I found someone on the ground who wasn't breathing and had no pulse.They must have been in a damn deep sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A black man from Harlem walked in to a store. He then proceeded to buy a few items using money he had earlier procured by working dilligently.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

ding dong thats right no knock on door anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mom is so dumb, she has difficulty acquiring a job to support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down -9

CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +147

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops