Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Wow, that makes your name a lot more comfortable to say... Not type, and you seem to be more sensitive than non-red hair girls. Besides its really nice, why do you dye it? Is it like red or ginger?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: Lethally inject it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why Russians ride bears? Because god hate bears

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why is a frog green? Because it was born that way

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go hang himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -3

one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops