Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

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What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

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THE END.

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Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they!

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What do you call a fat priest? Obese

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Why couldn't the kid get into see the pairate movie? It was rated PG-13 and he was only 11. Plus he had no money and his mother didnt want him watching movies like that.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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Q: What did the ugly duckling say to the other ducks? A: QUACK!

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Knock Knock Whos There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley.

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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What is the difference between a park bench and a Mexican? The park bench can actually suport a family A. Woj

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Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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