So lion bites off a mans foot. He bleeds to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

thumb_up thumb_down

Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did a lot of money say? I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are blue , but i would't know that because u never bring me flowers, you bastard .

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Bob: "Knock knock." Gerald: "who's there?" Bob: "your worst nightmare." Gerald: "your worst nightmare who?" Bob kicks open the door, kills Gerald, ties up his wife, sells his kids to slavery, and burns his house down.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Three women, a blonde a brunette and a readhead, jump out of an airplane without wearing parachutes. And this is why women should stay in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's black and can't speak? A garbage can.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops