Why could the woman not play the game monopoly? Because she did not own the game monopoly

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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So a baby seal walks into a club

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

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i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile. get in the batmobile.

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What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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What's ur favorite color? Cancer Made by mark

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Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

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Everybody love food when they are hungry

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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