Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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Whats green all over and travels at 100mph A christmas tree in a gokart

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The cow says MOO. Until you shoot it.

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

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I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

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A pussy walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bar keeper asks " why are you such a pussy!" The pussy then says, "it's not my fault I'm a cat!" before getting run over

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Six million.

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How many rabbits does it take to screw in a light buld? None, it is scientifically impossible for a rabbit to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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George Bush does not care about black people.

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What do people in Asia do for black history month? Nothing, black history month is an American thing.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was ferociously raped by a bear.

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What's are the screams and terror when midnight hits? Vannlia Ice's face.

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What abou three times

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what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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