How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Charlie Sheen is winning

thumb_up thumb_down -13

No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats the problem with black and mexican jokes? once youve heard juan youve heard jamal

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the black man escorted out of the bar? Civil rights is still a real issue in this country and must be solved.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Why do all gingers get mad all the time except having sex? Because they enjoy it!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops