why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

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Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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My dad

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What do you call an elephant on the moon? Dead.

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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A special needs student walks into a girls change room, and is then escorted out unaware that what he did was socially unacceptable.

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What happened when the boys visited Penn State? They got toured around campus and decided that it would be their future college.

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

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How do you kill an american? You shoot them

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

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gays

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Religion

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What did the police officer say to the black man? "I am a police officer."

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Why did the blackjack player gamble every night and day and not eat, sleep, or use the bathroom? To practice for a tournament in which the grand prize was to save his dying grandmother.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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