Why Can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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what do you get when you use heroin aids.

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Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

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P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

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Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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Two scientists walk into a bar, the pair walk up to the counter and the first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have some H2O too." 10 minutes later, the second scientist dies.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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a man walks into a bar....... thats it.

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Yup, I mean we use all of your techniques and all things considered the messages end up looking pretty much the same, as if the same person had written them, Azure is named Carlos, and well, he is pretty much a computer wiz so you have nothing to worry about.

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What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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