boobs.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

i said wut wut in the butt!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did the chicken cross the road. He didn't he was ran over by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What's different about a boy and a girl? A: Nothing. There used to be a notable difference but nowadays you have to strain in order to tell them apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

You know what's a joke? Something Funny

thumb_up thumb_down

How much did the Holla Cost?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

your mom is so fat, shes not skinny

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call an Arab on a plane? A passenger, you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops