Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

why couldnt hellen keller drive? cuz she was blind

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

what did the fat guy say to the girl ill make fun of you because i have bigger tits than you

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

Knock Knock JUST OPEN THE FLIPPIN DOOR ALREADY! I DON"T NEED YOU TO KNOCK AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU COME TO MY HOUSE!!! Jeez...seriously

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

whats disappointing and not funny? this joke. ouch.

What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side . Unfortunately , there was a car accident and shrapnel from the explosion [caused by gas on fire] cut his head off causing the old woman to faint , and later die a horrible death .

Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...