A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

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what do you call a black guy fixing your electricity an electrician

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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Roses are red violets are flowers jordan and me did it for hours If you know what i mean xxx

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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Me, id rather be known as the antijoke rather than the antichrist, I offered him water at the desert just because I care. You killed him. Moral: Once you see the point of this joke, myself, I will be the one laughing, ten years and counting humanity, ten years or so, and the world belongs to me.

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What happens when a super saiyan eats a fully grown pineapple? hehe xd

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Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

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Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

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why did the poet kill the blackchicken? as a source of inspiration for his poultry

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why did the computer crash? it didn't

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when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while because you have one tooth and its half chipped.. and your a black mexican red head.

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How do you upset a builder? Kill all his family.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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