two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

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Me: I have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off. You: Knock knock Me: who's there? You: silence as the person is confused as what's going on

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? How dumb are you?

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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Nathan Gooderson.

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What did the Black guy, the Asian, and the White guy have in common? they were all brutally murdered.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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why is there a hole in the wall, i hope a prehistoric mole doesnt come out of that hole in the ball CC

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why did the boy buy a dirty magizine? he should not have, its been on the floor. who wants to read the rolling stone magizine if it has dirt on it. how dumb of him.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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