There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: How did Whitney Houston die? A: Who?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock : F*ck im watching porn...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An american man, chinese man, black man, and a Mexican man walk into a bar. The american man says i want to show you guys a trick, so they go to the empire state building and the american man jumps off the side and comes back up alive. He tells them i will do it one more time, watch closely. So he jumps off and comes back alive. The american guy tells the chinese man to do it. So the chinese guy jumps off and dies. Then the american guy tells the mexican to jumps off, sonhe does it. The mexican man dies and the black guy is told to do it and he is afraid, but still does it, he dies. The american man goes back to the bar and the barkeep says "Superman you can be a real dick when your drunk!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the baby start crying? Its mom slapped it in the face, causing permanent brain damage that would haunt it throughout its life.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Guess where my mom lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my dad lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my aunt lives Utah!?!?!? NO!!!! Trick Question b... she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H20." The second one says "why did you come to the bar if you're just going to have water?" and orders a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a dumb blond walks into a hair salon and gets her hair died brown... she is now a dumb brunette

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

thumb_up thumb_down

whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do those Indian people have that dot on their forehead ? Idk but it makes a good target.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Killing people is not illegal just ask a soldier

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the deferince between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A drunk guy walks into a car

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops