Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't, you're either just racist or unobservant.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

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Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

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So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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Bob dole

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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What do you do if a black man throws a gernade at you? You take the pin out, and throw it back.

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360 NO SCOPE

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roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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