what did bob say tothe ugly duckling? your ugly and a duckling

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

Whats hairless, looks like a bel end and stinks of onions. Adey Bradley

What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

fart

How do you know your cat is gay? Other cats have buttsex with him

why did the chicken cross the road? because the light was green

Roses are red, I want a gravestone, nobody loves me, forever alone

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

knock knock who's there? boo don't do this joke again- i'll make you cry if you finish it don't cry it is just a knock knock joke teeheehee

What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

What did the homeless man do with his trolley full of aluminium cans, He took them to the scrapyard and sold them as this is his only source of income right now

non poop

Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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