How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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What happens when someone with ADD tells a joke? I forgot.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a red light A:soon to be green

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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why was the girl in the corner with a knife? she's an emo

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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