Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why couldnt hellen keller drive? cuz she was blind

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the fat guy say to the girl ill make fun of you because i have bigger tits than you

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock JUST OPEN THE FLIPPIN DOOR ALREADY! I DON"T NEED YOU TO KNOCK AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU COME TO MY HOUSE!!! Jeez...seriously

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats disappointing and not funny? this joke. ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side . Unfortunately , there was a car accident and shrapnel from the explosion [caused by gas on fire] cut his head off causing the old woman to faint , and later die a horrible death .

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops