what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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I was strolling along the countryside and saw 2 niiggers peacefully hanging from a tree

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Lacrosse

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

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why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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Whats black and hangs from the my tree? A tire swing.

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What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

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whats brown and sticky? a sweaty mexican

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What god did Bill believe in? No god, Bill is an athiest

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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Yo mama so fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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