Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The bartender is institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia.

Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

Massie is a fatass

Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

What's the differance between a pile of leaves and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a pile of leaves burning in my backyard.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

My name is me I like fired chicken!

What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

cancer

Knock knock (No one is home)

What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

hello there i am a male from the small town of balamory and i have just found a very large oblong with an acute right angle strongly attached to the left hand side........do you think i should hand it to the new york extra torestial services ?

you gay?

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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