What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

Your mama's so fat.

I agree

why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

so a dyslexic man sold his soul to Santa

Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

What's the main difference between an angry white man and an angry black man? The angry black man is probably of African descent.

a man asked another man what time its it. The man responded by telling him the time and asking why he wanted to know. "thats none of your business" he replied. Why did he say it was none of his business? A- because it was none of his business.

what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

Two nuns in a bath, one nun says to the other "wears the soap?" the other confused replies "I am sure you mean 'where' is the soap" and hands her the soap.