Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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What is big and wet and smells like mushrooms? A big wet mushroom.

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear large clothing.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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Why is a Wesley a black man ? He licks tuna

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there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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how did the man die he didnt

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

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When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

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Q. What is a brown cow called? A. A cow.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

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Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Anthony sucks

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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yo mama so dumb she got hit by a parked car. ~YN~

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What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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