Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? I got feathers stuck in my cars grill

A drunken man grabbed a gun and shot his entire family to death. Luckily, a even drunker man had shot them moments before, so it really only served to ruin the perfectly good wall behind them with bullet holes.

Knock Knock. Whose there? ..............

Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

When you cross a bird on the sidewalk what do you do??? Run in big circles.

THE GAME

Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

How do you have sex with hellen keller? Very sweetly

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

A cow walks into a bar and said, "Bartender give me a glass of milk!"

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar and decide to have a drinking contest. Who won? The rabbi. The priest died of alcohol poisoning later that night.

Cancer

why does jake have so many guns? hes compensating

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...