What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? D-12.

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I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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the WNBA

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with men other than her husband.

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-Can I ask you one question? -Yes. -Thank you.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in a zoo don't be mad I'll be there too not in a cage but laughing at you

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.

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What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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You have such a big heart (Girlfriend) The doctor's think dangerously so (Guy)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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