What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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When Geese fly in their 'V' formation, why is one line bigger than the other? There's more geese in that line.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says, "I'll man the guns. You drive."

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

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How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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Your mom is so skinny that she may have anorexia, yet she could treat it so she doesn't die.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

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A mentally disabled person asked a tree, "Are you a tree?" the tree didn't say anything because it can not speak.

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how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

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What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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