2 Penises

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what did the jaguar and the girl have in common? Spots, the girl had the chicken pox

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What did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They didn't. She was a blind deaf-mute, there was very little she could do wrong

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Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Wanna hear a joke? The WNBA

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A man walks in to a bar, He sits down and enjoys a pint.

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What color is a banana? yellow.

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Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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Who's lower than Iran? United Arab Emirates.

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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what's funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume? philanthropy

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what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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What's worse than an ice cream cone falling over? The Holocaust. What's worse than that? Two ice cream cones falling over.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

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Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

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What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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