What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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What do you can a Brazilian woman wearing a bikini? It depends on the case, but usually Brazilian women are named "Maria", "Ana", "Júlia" and many others kinds of names, with their root being hispanic, portguese and latin lenguages. Respectively, the names quoted have the English translation being "Mary", for Maria, "Anne", for Ana, and July, for Júlia.

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Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

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knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

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muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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three men walked into a bar, can't believe know one noticed it.

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What's black and hangs from tree's? A suicidal black man.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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Why did it die Nothing died

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Rebecca Blacks walk into a bar. She gets shot.

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The blondes on the opposite part of the lake is a pretty good joke

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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What does water taste like? Water

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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What do u do if a blonde throws a bomb at u Trigger the bomb and throw it back

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

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How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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I walked into my sister's room and slipped on a bra..........it was a boobie trap

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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