DEATH.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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What did the teacher say to the kid who got a 0 on a multiple choice spelling test? Wow your really dumb. Idiot

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

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Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

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What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

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What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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Worst joke ever

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. I don't know, why? A. I asked first.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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star wars kid

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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Church.

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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