what happened to the kid who didn't get what he wanted for his birthday? He committed suicide

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

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The cow says MOO. Until you shoot it.

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What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

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1: Why did Suzie have no arms and no legs? 2: Why? 1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's there? 1: Not Suzie

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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Why did the guy get glasses? So he could get his dick into the vagina.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

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What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane?? A pilot.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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A women walks out of a kitchen.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally becase she fell off the swing.

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The Holocaust? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

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What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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