I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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Yo mama so fat, her whole family is encouraging her to exercise and go on a diet.

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What do you do if you really really hate someone? You kill them. HEEE HEEE! by drew and jubie

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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What is it worse than a bee sting ? -Two bee stings What 's worse than two bee stings ? -The holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust ? -3 bee stings

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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One time at band camp.............tha'ts it........

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What is red, blue, and green all over? A piece of paper with three colors on it.

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Buttercups are yellow Thats about it

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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