how do u get a nun pregnant? dress her up as an alter boy

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the kid with cancer gt for Christmas? Nothing. He didn't make it that long

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Womens Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call an blank test? an F

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Come In.......

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the right wing jew say after he was arrested for murder? bt we went through the holocust

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How is a frog similar to a corn dog? They both have really long tongues, except for the corn dog

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the black man cross the Atlantic? An airplane. He also could have used a boat. However, airplanes are a preferred form of travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Abe Lincholn had a son :) But he died |:

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why are black people good at basketball? Because they practice.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

thumb_up thumb_down +24

This joke isnt funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops