What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

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What did the Jewish man say to the Shia faction Muslim man? Even though we have different views on god and religion I value your friendship more than my religous views.

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Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

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Michael Jackson and Barack Obama talked to each other about oreos

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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You: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries? Person: A towel?! You: No, an aquaphilian woman drying off a car ;)

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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what is worse than a guy pissed?

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

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What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

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The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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