did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Is that your face or is your dog walking backwards.

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Hey Jay, did you here the one about the 3 hookers at the bar? Jay didn't reply because he was deaf

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Why did the little boy fall down? Because he was shot.

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Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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Guy finds lamp in the desert and rubs it three times. No genie appears because there's no such thing as magic.

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A Jewish man walks by a penny.

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A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 4

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

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How do you know that you tv has been stolen? It's no longer there.

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A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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Knock Knock Who is there? 9-11 9-11 who? You said you would never forget.

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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