Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

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You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

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Where did susie go after the explosion? everywhere. What was susie after the explosion? a puzzle.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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Brittney Spears

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Why did the black man smell really bad? A: becuase he ran out of paper

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Why was the kid happy? Because it was his birthday.

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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HITLER IS SO SEXY I WOULD PAY A MILLION DOLLARS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS DEAD HOT BODY WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT HIM I SPRAY MY SEMEN ALL OVER MY JEWISH SLAVES YUMMY HITLER JUST MAKES ME WANT TO BITE HIS ROTTING PENIS OFF AND FORCE IT IN THE EYE SOCKET OF A JEWISH PERSON AND THEN I CUM IN HIS EYESOCKET

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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