I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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whats softer than a furry blanket an indian

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Why did the blind boy cross the road? Why? The world may never know. He was hit by a bus

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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Q. Whats brown and sticky? A. Poo

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

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Asians...

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"It's A Bird!!!" "It's A Plane!!!" "No, It's not either of those things."

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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Anti-Joke.com Post anonymously with no editing!

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

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Did you hear about the guy with seven fingers? You should, because almost everybody has seven fingers.

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Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

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A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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