What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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A horse walked into a barn...

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if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

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What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

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my mom texted me telling me that my dog died... then she texted me the letters LOL... i texted back asking wat was funny!? she thought it ment 'lots of love' :p

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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A dirty joke Three white horse's are walking down a trail one falls in the mud

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Who's there? Knock Knock.

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People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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The EPA.

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

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I'm a lion hear my threat **** you ***** and then go **** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.

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Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jane from next door. Hi Jane how can I help you? Just wondering if my sister could use the spare spot on your drive tomorrow afternoon around 3pm? She is coming round for tea. I'm very sorry but my wife is due back around that time. Not a problem, thanks anyway. Have a great day. Bye Jane, see you soon, sorry again.

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Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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