Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

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What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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The bird is not the word.... Its two

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why was the black woman forced to sit in the back of the bus? all the other seats were taken.

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baby seal walks into a bar

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Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

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How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

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Why did little tomas cry? Because he got raped by his uncle

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Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

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What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interupting cow Interu--- MOOOOOO!!

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69.... is a number

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Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

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A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What's worse than loading babies into a garbage truck. Answore: unloading them with a pitch fork.

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There was an Englishman a Welshman and a Scotsman, all of whom were nationals of the United Kingdom.

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My kids are mistakes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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