Whats black and hangs from trees in my backyard? blackberries..

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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What do you call a bunch of black guys on mars? a problem What do you call 1 million black guys on mars? a bigger problem What do you call all the black guys on mars? a solution

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What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

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Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

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three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

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Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

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what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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how do you stop a gang of black people from raping a white woman? throw a basketball

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Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

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wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

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Want to hear an urban legend? There's a straight feminist.

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Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

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I've been hearing a lot of Jew jokes lately, Anne Frankly I'm sick off it.

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What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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