What you reading? reading?

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature.

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How long does it take to acheive a superbowl win? However long it takes you.

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Limerick There once was a man from mass whos balls were made out of brass he clank them together to make stormy weather and lightning came out of his ass

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

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What is purple and green at the same time? Grapes, I lied about at the same time.

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Penis

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Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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What is an offensive term to refer to black people who lived in the time of the Flintstones? n*ggers

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Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

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why shouldn't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Lad: Whats that smell Girl: Nothing Lad: That is right nothing now get into the kitchen!

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Why do girls not have to have drivers license? Because they don't need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen ;) Don't mean to offend anybody! His joke is just funny

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

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Why was the boy crying? Because his dad comes home drunk every night and beats him.

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poop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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