A duck, a mailman, and a poet were contemplating suicide, then they changed their minds.

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Neither have I

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Chocolate rain Awesome!

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Rick Perry.

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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Chickens want to live in a world where they arent judged for cossing a road ......... K?

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She had no arms or legs Knock knock who's there? Not sally

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

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Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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