What's more annoying than a mosquito? the Sandy Hook Massacre

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Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

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why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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A man driving through a thunderstorm said, "look, it's rain, dear." His wife, being a reindeer, took offense to that statement.

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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Why was it so easy for Superman to pick up chics? His butt ox.

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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Why did the man starve to death? Because his wife died

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of one-on-one basketball in a common physical education class in present day mexico city.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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You are in England which has a law about not moving traffic when these idk some kinda swans cross the road. You see a fat woman in a car and she is waiting for the swans to cross the road and she can't drive the car else she would get in trouble by law. What do you do? Feed her

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When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Becasue she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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