How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because there were no cars coming

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

thumb_up thumb_down -9

i have 2 penises

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being chased by a wolf, who promptly ate the chicken when they arrived at the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats 2 + 2? a black guy flying a kite

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops