Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Patient: "Doctor I think I might be a homosexual." Doctor: "How can you tell?" Patient: "RAAIIINNBOOOOWW!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Does anyone know any good ways to piss off an Grammar Nazi?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is black.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

wanna hear a joke? not really

thumb_up thumb_down +20

An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

only one person get beat up chuck norris. Who you say? Bruce Lee. He got lucky because his eyes were closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the boy crying? Because his dad comes home drunk every night and beats him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A horse walked into a barn...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I'm Polish.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops