How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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Your mom is so skinny that she may have anorexia, yet she could treat it so she doesn't die.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

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A mentally disabled person asked a tree, "Are you a tree?" the tree didn't say anything because it can not speak.

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how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

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What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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A black man and a white man are in a car. Which one is driving? A person who is legally allowed and physically capable of operating and automobile.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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A man walks into a library looking for books on poor punchlines. The Librarian directs him to the appropriate section.

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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