why did sally fall off the swing cause she had no arms knock knock who's there? not sally

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black man with a job? An employee

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

But one McDonalds Happy Meal for the price of two, and receive another McDonalds Happy meal absolutley free!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the one horse say to the other. Nothing because horses can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

finding out that when you had sex with that prostitute, you severely injured your urethra tube and you cannot create urine or spurm.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Abraham lincoln do after getting assassinated? Certainly not riding a bike thats for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:What do you find in the middle of a pile of dead babies? A:Another dead baby!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops