Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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A man walks into a bar. It was a salad bar, so he left.

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Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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the holocaust

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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ekoj

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Women don't need an education. The only book they need is a recipe book.

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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two nuns were driving in Transylvania when a vampire jumps out in front of their car the first nun said "show it your cross" so the secong got out of the car and yelled Get out of the way you pric!!!!

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ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

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Hillary Clinton

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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