Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A dog walks into a bar. He asks for a drink in perfect english. People scream at the dog's ability to talk and scientists burt in and take the dog to dissect and study his brain, vocal chords, and dna.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's so good about being Swiss? Well.... The flag's a big plus

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

thumb_up thumb_down +38

it's funny because it's funny

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops