There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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what did the cheese say to the other cheese nothing cheese can't talk

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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What's the deal with brown?

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? A sandwich doesn't scream when I put my salami in it.

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why did the little boy fall down?? Because a terrorist shot him

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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How can you tell if a woman is a man? If she has a penis

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill. Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash. The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign." Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yield sign.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What did the DVD player say when a video tape was put in? You incompatible.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Haha

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What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

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A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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