Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

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What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

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two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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A man walks into a bar, has a drink, pays the bartender, and leaves.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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How do you kill a blonde ? Shoot her in the head

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what did the black man do for his family? nothing

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When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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