this is not a drill.

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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Why was the little Latino boy sad? Because his father sexually molested him earlier in the evening.

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Have you ever heard of a goose?

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

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Two corpses weigh in the wind. One is called Jones.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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Why didn't the Baby wake up? Because it was dead

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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What is black, white, red and blue? ..... A cow dressed as superman.

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What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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