how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

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What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have AIDS, now so do you.

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knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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what did one tree say to the other? move over

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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What did the young girl say to her step-dad? Nothing. She no longer talks to him after years and years of sexual abuse which left her emotionally scarred.

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

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Guess what. I eat weed and smoke yogurt

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why was the blonde fired from the factory? she ate the maneger's fingers.

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http://anti-joke.com/

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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