What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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What's worse than getting bit by a spider? getting bit by two spiders What's worse than getting bit by two spiders? getting raped What's worse than getting raped? a butterfly landing on you

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What do you call a kid without brothers or sisters What? a chinese Boy!!!!!!! lol ;)

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Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

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Roses are pink. Violets are pink. The brony just took a dump. Don't give me that shit!

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

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A young boy walks into a bar and asks for directions or a map. The bartender takes him into a backroom and gives him a map he just happened to have. The boy continues on his way and the bartender is happy that he did a good deed.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff, Whats not pink and fluffy? Sexual assault.

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops