What do you call a black person who just received a bachlors degree from Havard? A very educated human being.

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A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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How is pinocchio's nose like a penis? They're nothing alike.

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Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

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I scream, you scream, we all scream because we're getting murdered.

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What did the dad do immediately do after his child died? Cleaned off the knife.

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What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

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what did the cerial killer get for christmas an electric chair

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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A couple of years back a went to chile for a day, I was then trapped underground for 70 days...

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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This is a stupid joke. Get it to the top of the list and Kobe Bryant will pass to you.

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WHAT THE BABIES?!

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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