Q: What's DNA? A: The National Dyslexic Assosiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happens when you stab yourself in the heart? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why are bacon and eggs good. Because Toasters are silver

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was disturbed by two black men raping a young girl with leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He was dead. Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third koala fall off the tree? He thought it was a game so he joined in.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff, Whats not pink and fluffy? Sexual assault.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

¿melano?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the black man die? A white man killed him. He was a member of the KKK.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

K O O K A B U R R A . . . . . . . . . . ReTweet

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Steve jumps through a window...he forgot he was on the 231st floor...He dies

thumb_up thumb_down -33

a man walks into a bar and quickly notices a young lady having a drink. He sits beside her and asks 'why the long face?' 'My mother was raped by a horse.'

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's black and crunchy? CO-Co PUFFS

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's brown and sticky? a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops