A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

Knock Knock, Ow my face

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. Come out with your hands up!

Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

Thumbs down if you like this anti-joke!

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

What's blue and smells like yellow paint? Blue paint.

Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

Why is the wimpy guy so strong and angry now? Because he took steroids.

What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

what do mexicans enjoy eating? food.

What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

A British man walks into a dentist's office.

So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

what are you your not a human? are you an other?

In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...