A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk in to a barber shop They each ask the barber for haircuts of their preference.

A guy walks into a bar with a Donkey and a jar full of pennies. He walks up to the bartender and orders ten shots of whiskey. He was found dead the next morning from erotic asphyxiation.

what do you call a man who is addicted to alcohol... an alcoholic

What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

How do you get a single-armed monkey down from a tree? Wave.

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had a seizure.

Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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