A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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What is the difference between a baby and a log? I don't have a log in my fireplace

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why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To give to his wife to cut up for his family to have at a picnic

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Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

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Why is lewis rank gay Coz he is

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I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

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I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

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Two black men jump off a cliff, who wins? Wins what?

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. somebody recognizes him and immidiately asks for his autograph

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Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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Whats gay, has a nice ass, and can such a mad dick? Everyone at LNS, including me, Glenn. Just kidding I like bitches.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

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What do I do with all the wheelchairs after I boil all the vegetables?

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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