Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm chuck norris. And I approve of this message.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

thumb_up thumb_down +7

One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Netflix and chill

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do u call an anorexic with a yeast infection? -a quarter pounder with cheese. (not really anti-joke, im a girl and thought this was funny lol)

thumb_up thumb_down -2,863

why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

thumb_up thumb_down -12

S: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? P: They can chuck wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the african man wear no clothes? Because he liked being naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man walks into a bar. It turns out he is a notorious serial killer and he procedes to violently murder everyone in the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

tobi is so gay that he is the mayor of sanfrancisco

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

thumb_up thumb_down

A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops