Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Potassium? K.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you call a guy with a school bus on his head? Dead. It's highly unlikely that a man would be able to withstand the weight of a massive school bus on his head and survive.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats worse then 10 black men hanging from trees? Kittens

thumb_up thumb_down -32

rebecca is a hard worker

thumb_up thumb_down -25

On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Terrorist walks into an airport. - He then blows himself up.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is right behind 7 and he's naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anders Lungren is a worthless peice of scrub

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops