Why did the house burn down? Obama

What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

Jesus Christ

The once was a man from Nantucket, Who gave up on his life and said "damn this!" Then he won lots of money, His future looked bright and sunshiny Until one day he suddenly died

Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

what is so fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? There is a high possibility their breasts have developed, thus equaling more pleasure for you.

When Kurt Cobain was little, his mother told him to never play with guns but I guess it went through one ear and out the other.

You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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