17

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Where's Stevin Hawkins? He went for a walk.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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A black man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun! Then he returns it and leaves.

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What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

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roses are reddish voilets are blueish if it weren't for christmas we'd all be jewish

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Roses are flowers jordan does it for hours xxxxif ya know what i mean

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What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

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what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

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What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion.

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Why did Lisa spill her drink? Her plane crashed.

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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Tim: You wanna hear an anti-joke? Billy: Yes! Tim: Okay, I've got one for you Billy: Let's hear it! Tim: 1

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a blender ? A. 37 but you can try and prove me wrong

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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