why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Why did Obama win the president election He had a greater amount of votes that Jonh mccain

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

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Q; What is pink and has 2 legs? A: Not a lot of things, but a Flamingo is the closest thing that I could think of if you do not count the beak eyes and feet.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb?

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Obamacare

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What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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