How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

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Knock Knock, Come in.

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why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

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What is faster than a black man with a stereo? A car

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How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

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Obamacare!

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obama leadership

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? the one on the bottom trying to eat its way out of a pile of babies that have been poisoned.

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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what color is blue? green

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How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

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Gay rights

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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I am the sun. You are the moon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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