One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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What did the white guy the black guy and the Asian all have in common Penises

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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Hey Shea

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Why did the parents order the 16 year old daughter to move out of Virginia? Because she lost her virginity

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Why did the man sit on the chair? Because he was tired of standing

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

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What's better than winning the Paralympics? Having legs.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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guess what chicken butt

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

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Q: What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas Carol? A: None. He was raised by gorillas, who are unlikely to have ever heard of Christmas.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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