Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

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why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

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Womens rights.

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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What was even more disgusting than the holocaust? Lucy's new shoes.

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Care to fill in some of the etc etc`s for me? Its not like we are complete strangers one to another either, you and I I mean, I feel pretty secure around you.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

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Why was the African american pulled over in New Jersey? He was 17 and didn't have his red stickers.

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2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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whats funnier than anti jokes nothing

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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