Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

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what does a black guy and a chinease guy have is common? I don't know but it would be interesting to find out.

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why was the baby crying? Because she had a frog nailed to her face.

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Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

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How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

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What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

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Lil Wayne

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brett is a dick

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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What is an Anti-Joke? This is.

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Why did the 6 year old girl go to therapy? Because her step dad raped her.

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Why did the little boy run away from Michael Jackson? Because he was scared

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A man cries out to god.. and god doesn't answer.

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What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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