Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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Why was the man thought to be peculiar? Because he had sex with a pistachio.

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Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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YOLO

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What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

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Whats worst than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worst than a pile of dead babies? One live baby under the pile of dead babies.

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How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

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Roses are red hulk is green, I'd smash that ass, If you know what I mean !

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baskets

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What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

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what makes white men feel embarrassed and and ashamed? when they find out their girllfriend has been sleeping with a black man.

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Who has a big nose? YOU!!!

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a

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An African-American man calls KFC. An employee answers. "Thank you for calling KFC." The man replies, "I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number."

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Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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How many gays does it take to change a light bulb? 1, even if hes not happy im sure he would still be able to change it.

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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