Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Wombat monkey juice.

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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My parents died!

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Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

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Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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Your time.

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What's the difference between a car tyre and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear. The others a fucking great year!!! San2

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Chuck Norris is dead......

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person 1:Dude, look at the news person 2:Yea man, its D ick Cheney person 1: what a d ick head

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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why was their a child on the sun? There wasn't he would be incinerated

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Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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How are friends and trees alike? They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

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Girls

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What did the fox say to the blonde? "Hello". The girl then captured the fox and sold it to the government.

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A blond went to a barber to get her hair cut. She had her ear phones in and tolled the barber not to take her ear phones out at all. So the barber was swiching her ear phones to cut her hair then she fell asleep so the barber took both of her ear phones off for a minute and then she died

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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