Why can't Tom Maynard play cricket anymore Because he's dead

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Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

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Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

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Women's rights.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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why did the T-Rex eat the other dinosaur? Because it is a carnivorous animal.

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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roses are grey violets are grey im color blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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