How many Ethiopians can you fit in a car? Five in your standard sedan

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

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Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

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So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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