What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

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What Happens when you shoot a deer? It's Dead

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What's the difference between a murdered baby and a dead baby? Not much

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

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Q.What did the muffin say when the other muffin said, "How ya doin'?" A."HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

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I don't get it

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

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you.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian at a school? Two hard-working, dedicated teachers.

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

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Why was Adolf Hitler such a bad man? Because he never kissed his wife goodbye.

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Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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