Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

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Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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The Braves win the N.L. east

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Yeah, you cant make nukes without certain components which are illegal to come by, you know Iranian Uranium I believe, I still feel pretty ill, if you dont mind, lets change the subject. Say, does the word yellowcake mean anything to you?

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Why did alfred crap his pants? because he had downs

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Why was the boy sad. Because he had been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and he had been told he has three days to live. That's why.

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Q. What did Tarzan Say when he met Jane? A. Tarzan Being raised by apes and not learning English would have no knowledge of the language and would probably hoot and screech like his fellow ape brothers

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Knock knock Who's There? My name is Jeff

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

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Why did the black kid fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome

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What's the difference between Jerry Sandusky and a pedifle? Nothing.

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What do you call a black man hanging from a tree? Breakfast

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped a KFC.

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when do you go to heaven? Never

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Q. What is the answer to life? A. 34

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Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

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Q: What do you call a successful black person? A: A fictional character.

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? Learn to duck.

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I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. Unless they were having sex with my corpse.

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Did you hear about the Blonde who jumped off a bridge? She died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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