A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

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What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

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Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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what has two legs and is red all over a fireman doing his job

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why did the hedge hog cross the road? To get to his 'flat' mate!!

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A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

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Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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There are too many people in this bar, a man says. He then walks out of the bar and proceeds to visit his grandmother. Orange.

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

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A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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