Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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Where does Hemech take a shit? The toilet's ass

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Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

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Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

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1: I know a lot of people hate Mondays, but my least favorite day of the week is Thursday. 2: Can I ask why? 1: Of course you can. Everyone has free will.

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i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

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Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

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whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

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what did the man say to his horse? sex. -teagan doherty

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there was a black guy and white guy, they were walking down a street to da bus stop, the bus comes by and says where yall goin and they say 21st avenue street; so they walk away and the black guy says(in a black voice): "wait buses dont talk!"

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yo momma so fat. that shes fat

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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