"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

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Why does Stuart go to Zu Bar? Because he deals cocaine to his fellow raving companions

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Why did a boy fall off the swing at a playground? He did not have any arms.

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Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

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Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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Knock Knock Who's There? God God who.....wait REALLY? No Dave, this is a hallucination, and your peeing right now.

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What did the monk give to the cancer patient? His love and reassurance.

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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What's worse than discovering a hornet's nest next to your house? Being raped.

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Whats more realistic than evolution? Everything

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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What is more addictive than World Of Warcraft? Heroin

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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Where do babies come from? My garage

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Everything.

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Hi

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RACIST JOKE: how to start a footrace in ghana role a donut down a hill

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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