don't just stand there

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Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

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Why did the farmer's wife leave the farm? Because she was a lesbian.

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What word starts with a P and ends with an ORN?.......Popcorn sickos!

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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There is a Mexican and a Black guy in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican, you racist bastard.

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Whats funnier than a real joke? An anti joke

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Wayne Gacy.

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What do you get when you cross a hippo with a dishwasher? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

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What did the young girl say to her step-dad? Nothing. She no longer talks to him after years and years of sexual abuse which left her emotionally scarred.

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Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

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What happened to the twins? 9/11

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Michal j. fox has Parkinsons disease. He is tired of losing at jenga

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

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Looks through the peephole.

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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