Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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The Tiarajudens is a Permian land-walrus.

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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What's worse than speaking to a Russian bear? Gettting mauled and eaten by one.

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What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Whats In My Trash? Bears

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Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

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Burp

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Long joke Your such a downey

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Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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What do you call a black man in a truck A driver

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why doesn't mexico have an olypics because theyre already running,swimming and jumping over the border

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Why could the little girl not swim? She had rabies.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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