Q: Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? A: Neither did he.

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Why could the penguin not fly? It was shot in the wing.

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Why was 6 scared of me? cause i ate 9

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? He prefers the companionship of homosexual relationship to that of a heterosexual one.

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

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Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

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knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

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Why did the girl fall from the swing? She was laughing at an anti-joke.

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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What did the Pope say to the homosexual couple? Welcome to the community.

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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