Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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Alan: My Grandfather has a jacket made from jews that he killed while he was in the SS. James: Really? Alan: No, I'm Korean. My Grandfather would not be allowing into the SS.

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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you know what they say about men with big feet... damn you got some big feet.

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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John: Do you like Cake? Sue: Yes. John: Alright.

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar everyone is amazed because the surgery he just got cured his parilization

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

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How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

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Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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Q:What's better than getting 500 million dollars A:Nothing

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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Roses are red violets are blue I am in 301 Club and so are you.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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